Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Trying to blog amid a crescendo of peace
Sounds odd, doesn't it? But that's what it's like at the moment. I'm on a busy cardiac health ward, the busiest in the city (and the best, in Ambulance Driver's not-insignificant opinion - he says I did a very wise thing in asking to be brought here), but so are a lot of other cases involving heart attacks, mutters, murmurs and plain ol' stutters. And all of them seem to have brought Bubba, Miz Bubba and sundry friends and relatives out of the woodwork to play.
Example 1: This afternoon. I look up to note a young boy and girl watching me eagerly from my partly-open room door. After exchanging polite pleasantries, I ask them to close the door behind them. They don't close it, and they don't leave. I buzz for the attendant.
Attendant: C'n I help yew?
Me: Yes, would you please escort these two kids to their family, and close the door behind them?
Attendant: Aw, Mary an' Maxwell won't bother ya none. They jus' wanna hang out here in the afternoons ta see if somethin' interestin' happens, like ya die or somethin'. Make a good school report for them, that would! (Smiles at me encouragingly, as if to say, "What are you waiting for?")
Me: Perhaps, but I don't want them here, thank you. Kindly remove them.
Attendant (Staring at me blankly): But, Mistah, yew jus' don' get it! This is f'r their school!
Me: And would you like me to tell you what you, and they, can do in, to and with their school? With sleigh bells on?
(In all fairness, the hospital had no idea of the situation, and was mortified when I got hold of a supervisor and pointed it out. I suspect the employee concerned is due for some fairly terminal counseling. Still, it's a valid example of some of the joys of living here.)
Other distractions so far have been an overload of visitors, exacerbated by the opening yesterday of a new section of the rebuilt hospital, so that visitors have been trooping around in confusion trying to find patients whom they know damn well were here yesterday, but who today seem to have evaporated like Soylent Green. (Hint: Don't use this exact comparison. How do I know this, you ask? Trust me. I know this. Now, anyway. Srlsly.)
My chest drainage tube and catheter came out yesterday, so the odds are pretty good I'm going to be kicked out today or tomorrow (Tuesday or Wednesday) to recuperate at home. This will be a long, slow process, but we'll tackle it one day at a time, as always.
Not much to post apart from that. I'll hopefully have more interesting things to write about after I get back into circulation.
Thanks for the continued good wishes, y'all. They're very much appreciated.