Today's Doofus is from Plainville, Massachusetts.
[17-year-old Ryan Gelineau] decided to burglarize a pharmacy in Plainville, Massachusetts. So ... he cut a hole through the roof, repelled 20 feet down a rope, and found himself a delightful bounty of stuff to steal.
He loaded a duffel bag with cough syrup, pills, cartons of cigs and $320 in cash. Then he encountered a small problem. Though Gelineau showed rather remarkable larcenous instincts in getting into the store, he'd neglected to figure out how he was going to escape. Ooops!
So he decided to hide in a crawl space until morning, then make his escape after the store opened. With all that time on his hands, he thought it wise to sample his larcenous goods. So he pounded two bottles of prescription cough syrup, which conked him out like a dead carp on the banks of the Mississippi.
Alas, he was still conked by morning, when he was scheduled to make his daring escape. In fact, he was so conked he couldn't hear his cell phone ringing. But pharmacy employees could. They called the cops, who used Gelineau's ringing phone to find him in the crawl space.
There's more at the link.
Some crooks are so dumb, they give the profession a bad name . . .