From the Telegraph's list of 'The best Edinburgh Festival jokes' (which will be updated each day for the duration of the Edinburgh Festival, so you might want to bookmark it):
“The other day, I went to KFC. I didn’t know Kentucky had a football club.”
“You can’t lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, then what you’ve lost is a pigeon.”
“Like most liberals, I will do anything for the working classes, anything - apart from mix with them.”
“I’ve got type 1 diabetes. Diabetes is the only disease where I’ve had to stop half way through having sex to have a Kit Kat.”
There are more at the link. Fun!