All right, I have to admit it: this one makes me giggle.
According to the Daily Mail:
"Vasectomies could be a thing of the past thanks to a remote-controlled implant that can stop the flow of sperm.
The valve-like device can be opened and shut at the press of a button, using the same technology that locks a car using a key fob.
Scientists who invented the implant say it could be used as a form of male contraception.
Men who change their minds about having children would then simply point the remote handset at their testicles and press a button to open up the valve."
OK, Sherlock, hold it right there.
We've got enough problems with remote control units as it is. There's the TV, the VCR, the DVD, the satellite TV box, the cable TV box, the home entertainment system, the A/C or heating system, even kitchen appliances. Now you want to add another remote control to the mix?
Oh, brother. I can see it now.
"Darling, I - I'm pregnant!"
"Oh. Sorry, dear - I must have used the wrong remote. That explains why my nether regions were broadcasting the theme to the Tonight Show while we made love!"
Or, in another scenario, our hero has carefully made sure that his implant has been activated and he's enjoying allegedly safe sex with his spouse - but the neighbor in the apartment next door switches channels on his TV at the critical moment. Hey presto - device deactivated! Chaos, panic and disorder!
There's also the embarrassment of confusing the key-fob for your car alarm with that for your procreation control device.
"Darling, the neighbor's car alarm's just gone off! That's the third evening this week!"
"Not to worry, dear - Bill's just got his remotes mixed up again!"
A final complication. What if these devices become widespread? What if nine out of ten men in one street decide they're going to have theirs switched on for safe sex - but the tenth man deactivates his because he and his wife want to have a baby? And - what if the channel to operate his device also operates others nearby?
Can you spell "humongous lawsuit"? Can you spell "child support payments"?
*gigglesnort!*
Peter
*gigglesnort* indeed, I was guffawing so loudly the Dearly Beloved had to call from another room to inquire what was so amusing to me.
ReplyDeleteNow where did I put that brain bleach? I just can't get the visual of a man pointing a remote control at "his nether regions" out of my head!!! Thanks a lot, Peter.
Ditto! I shared this with my co-workers who are still rolling on the floor laughing!
ReplyDeleteOh, this one is tooooooo funny! But it would have to be a remote control device, of course, for a man to want to use it! Just make sure those batteries are fully charged.
ReplyDeletethis is hillarious..i have to do a report on and give a presentation to my medical science class on a recent advance in medicine...this is perfect...
ReplyDelete