You may be a member of the Taliban if:

1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.
2. You own a $3,000 machine-gun and a $5,000 rocket-launcher, but you can't afford shoes.
3. You have more wives than teeth.
4. You wipe your butt with your bare left hand, but consider bacon "unclean".
5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.
6. You can't think of anyone against whom you HAVEN'T declared Jihad.
7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.
8. You were amazed to discover that cellphones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.
9. You've ever uttered the phrase "I love what you've done with your cave."
10. You have nothing against women and think that every man should own at least one.
11. You bathe at least monthly whether necessary or not.
12. You've ever had a crush on your neighbor's goat.

(Sent via e-mail by my buddy Rich.)

Peter