Monday, April 14, 2008

Britannia sure doesn't rule the waves any more . . .


*Sigh*

It seems the Royal Navy is receiving some politically correct advice from the Foreign Office.

THE Royal Navy, once the scourge of brigands on the high seas, has been told by the Foreign Office not to detain pirates because doing so may breach their human rights.

Warships patrolling pirate-infested waters, such as those off Somalia, have been warned that there is also a risk that captured pirates could claim asylum in Britain.

The Foreign Office has advised that pirates sent back to Somalia could have their human rights breached because, under Islamic law, they face beheading for murder or having a hand chopped off for theft.

I can imagine the remains of every renowned Admiral in Royal Naval history revolving simultaneously in high-speed indignation in their crypts. Look for news reports of severe and unexplained seismic tremors in the hallowed precincts of their burial.

This is getting beyond ridiculous! What sort of namby-pamby creatures occupy the Foreign Office these days? What happened to the sound, sensible attitudes of yore? It used to be that pirates, after execution, would have their bodies hanged in chains overlooking major waterways, so that sailors in their comings and goings would look upon them and reflect on the consequences of choosing a life of crime on the high seas.

I have a suggestion. Let's have the Royal Navy establish a good working relationship with a friendly Sheik along the Somali coast, one who understands the realities of the situation. The warships can tow a couple of Somali dhows behind them, or have the Sheik send his ships out to meet them on receipt of a radio signal.

Any pirates caught in the act should be sunk at once. Any survivors can be rescued by the dhows and ferried ashore to meet our friendly Sheik. He (and/or his local Islamic court) can then administer justice on the spot, perhaps encouraged by a small payment towards "legal costs" for each pirate offense suitably adjudicated and punished. No risk of applications for political asylum, and probably no repeat offenders either.

That should solve our pirate problem in short order.

(Heck, if the pirates, being Islamic, reckon they have 72 virgins waiting for them in the next life, maybe we could call this their "dhow-ry"!)



Peter

1 comment:

  1. You only get the virgins if you die while directly promoting Islam, so that's probably right out of the question.
    The problem with turning these guys over to the local Sheik, is that there's a fair chance that they;re working for him. He may not have them beheaded, but they may find themselves unemployed for losing the company boat while botching the operation.

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