Spiritual Advice from a Jewish Buddhist

I received the following helpful suggestions by e-mail from Dora (who is Jewish, and does yoga). After I'd wiped the tea off my monitor, I thought you might enjoy them too.

• Wherever you go, there you are. Your luggage is another story.
• To practice Zen and the art of Jewish motorcycle maintenance, do the following: get rid of the motorcycle. What were you thinking?
• Learn of the pine from the pine. Learn of the bamboo from the bamboo. Learn of the kugel from the kugel.
• Be aware of your body. Be aware of your perceptions. Keep in mind that not every physical sensation is a symptom of a terminal illness.
• If there is no self, whose arthritis is this?
• Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Forget this and attaining Enlightenment will be the least of your problems.
• The Tao has no expectations. The Tao demands nothing of others. The Tao does not speak. The Tao does not blame. The Tao does not take sides. The Tao is not Jewish.
• Drink tea and nourish life. With the first sip, joy. With the second, satisfaction. With the third, Danish.
• The Buddha taught that one should practice loving kindness to all sentient beings. Still, would it kill you to find a nice sentient being who happens to be Jewish?
• Be patient and achieve all things. Be impatient and achieve all things faster.
• To find the Buddha, look within. Deep inside you are ten thousand flowers. Each flower blossoms ten thousand times. Each blossom has ten thousand petals. You might want to see a specialist.
• Be here now. Be someplace else later. Is that so complicated?
• Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And when you've attained nothingness, what do you have? Bupkes.

Peter