In light-hearted Christmas vein . . .

I'm still enjoying the Twelve Days of Christmas, although not many Americans seem to celebrate the feast for the full period. I found two posts on other blogs that had me cackling into my tea today, and I wanted to share them with you.

The first is from John Scalzi - "How You Know It's Not Santa". A few guidelines:

• His beard smells like your Uncle Dave’s glaucoma medicine.
• His elves have prison tattoos.
• He asks if you’d like to try some of his Prancer jerky.
• He describes the Baby Jesus as “the competition.”
• He burps in your face and calls it a “jingle belch.”
• Instead of saying “Merry Christmas” he shouts “Happy Life Day” and then screams like a Wookiee.

There are lots more at the link. Enjoy!

The second is a discussion about Christmas between Ken (39) and his three kids (7, 5 and 2 respectively). A snippet:

EVAN: How did Jesus get rid of the dinosaurs?

ME: . . . I beg your pardon?

EVAN [impatient]: How did JESUS get rid of the DINOSAURS?

ABBY: Yeah!

ELAINA: 'SAURS!

ME: What do you mean, get rid of the dinosaurs?

EVAN: Weren’t there dinosaurs around once?

ME: Yes . . .

EVAN: And didn’t they used to eat people until Jesus came, and then Jesus came and got rid of them?

ABBY: YEAH!

ME: [stunned silence]

EVAN: . . . or something like that?

ME: No, son. The dinosaurs were gone long before Jesus.

EVAN: I thought Jesus got rid of the dinosaurs.

ME: You’re thinking of the moneychangers, and the people who sold doves.

EVAN: [openly incredulous] Doves?

ME: Never mind. Daddy was joking.

EVAN: Jesus didn’t save us? I thought Jesus saved us.

ELAINA: SAVE!

ME: NOT. FROM. DINOSAURS!

EVAN: What did Jesus save us from?

ME: Sin.

[dead silence]

ABBY: And that’s why Santa brings us presents?

(Pauses to let helpless giggles subside . . . )

I love kids. They can tie up a preacher in theological knots so fast you wouldn't believe it if you weren't there to hear it! More of their discussion at the link.

Peter