I was amused to find this list on the New Zealand TradeMe forum. I thought you might enjoy it too.
Taoism: Sh*t happens, go with the flow.
Hare Krishna: Sh*t happens Rama Rama Ding Ding.
Hinduism: This sh*t has happened before.
Islam: Sh*t happening is the will of Allah.
Zen: What is the sound of sh*t happening?
Existentialism: Sh*t doesn't happen; sh*t is.
Buddhism: When sh*t happens, is it really sh*t?
Confucianism: Confucius says, "Sh*t happens".
7th day Adventist: Sh*t happens on Saturdays.
Protestantism: Sh*t won't happen if you work harder.
Catholicism: If sh*t happens, you deserved it.
Jehovah's Witnesses: No sh*t happens until Armageddon, and it won't happen to us.
Unitarian: What is this sh*t?
Mormon: Sh*t happens again & again & again.
Judaism: Why does this sh*t always happen to us?
Pentecostalism: Praise the Lord! There is no sh*t!
New Age: Sh*t happens and it happens to smell good if you open your heart to it.
Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this sh*t.
Well, back in my seminary days I studied fundamental theology, Biblical theology, systematic theology, dogmatic theology, and a bunch of other theological branches. I guess this could be referred to as toilet theology . . . or is it a branch of liberation theology? And if one gets uptight about it, is one theologically constipated?
Peter
Precious! LOL!
ReplyDeleteI'm philosophically constipated.
ReplyDeleteI just can't seem to give a sh*t.
I'm a religious eunich.
I just don't give a fu*k.
And after the last big one I suffer from Electile Dysfunction.
look that one up!
Calvinism: If sh*t happens, you deserve it.
ReplyDeleteCatholicism: When sh*t happens, say three Hail Marys and all will be forgiven.
Gerry
I had a T-Shirt with a longer version of that list back in the 1980s.
ReplyDeletePeter,
ReplyDeleteYou mean that you didn't study Scatology in seminary?