Doofus Of The Day #400

Today's Doofus, marking our 'fourth century' of Doofi, comes from Florida.

When sheriff's deputies allegedly discovered a bags of marijuana and cocaine between a man's buttocks, they said he gave a quick explanation. Manatee County deputies said Raymond Stanley Roberts told them "The white stuff is not mine, but the weed is."

There's more at the link.

*Sigh* . . . I can't tell you how often I, as a chaplain, heard this from inmates in prison. They're caught red-handed, with drugs or stolen property on their persons, yet they protest that it's not theirs, they've no idea how it got there, and 'someone must have put it there'. The latter is usually accompanied by meaningful glares at the arresting officers, followed by allegations in court that the cops 'had it in for them' and 'planted' the evidence. Fortunately, most judges and juries know better!

In this case, of course, the miscreant clearly hoped to get away with a misdemeanor possession charge for the marijuana. Crack cocaine carries a far heavier sentence, being a felony rather than a misdemeanor. Needless to say, his protestations didn't sway the arresting officers one bit!

(And I can't help but wonder how many customers realize that their rocks of crack cocaine are very likely to have been transported to their dealer between the buttocks of other criminals . . . without benefit of sanitary conditions or protective wrapping? Believe me, it's very common. Not that drug use is particularly sanitary at the best of times, but fecal contamination adds a whole new element to the damage it can cause!)

Peter