Today's winner comes from West Virginia.
Louis Helmburg III sued The Alpha Tau Omega Fraternity Inc., of Huntington, West Virginia, and Travis Hughes, a fraternity member, in Cabell County Court.
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The complaint states: "Defendant Hughes was highly intoxicated on this date and time, and decided in his drunken stupor that it would be a good idea to shoot bottle rockets out of his anus on the ATO deck, located on the back of the ATO house. ...
"Defendant Hughes placed a bottle rocket in his anus, ignited the fuse, but instead of launching, the bottle rocket blew up in the defendant's rectum, and this startled the plaintiff and caused him to jump back, at which time he fell off of the ATO deck, and he became lodged between the deck and an air conditioner unit adjacent the deck.
"There was no railing on said deck at the time of the incident. Upon information and belief, the lack of a railing had existed for at least several months, if not years, before the incident. Upon further information and belief, the deck never had a railing when it was installed, or any time thereafter. The subject deck was approximately 3-4 feet high."
Helmburg says Alpha Tau negligently failed to supervise its guests and members, "such as defendant Hughes, and other under age persons, from consuming alcohol on its premises, which leads to stupid and dangerous activities, such as shooting bottle rockets out of one's own anus."
There's more at the link.
One struggles for words to adequately express one's reaction to this lawsuit. The mere fact that the plaintiff would willingly confess to such doofidity in his deposition is astonishing in itself! My biggest mental boggle is that the sticks on which bottle rockets are mounted are made of fairly cheap, rough timber. Did Mr. Helmburg never think about what might happen if such a stick stuck a splinter into the inside of his anus, then ripped it out at rocket speeds? My backside hurts just thinking about it!
Oh, well . . . at least we can say that we now have a very definitive picture of what it takes to make an ass of oneself!
Peter
No mention of injuries. So... Helmburg willingly participated in the activities, then fell off a 3' deck and was not seriously hurt. This is worth suing people over? Double doofus!
ReplyDeleteIt is the Defendant who did the Bottle Rocket trick, not the Plaintiff. The Plaintiff was startled by the explosion near him and went off the edge.
ReplyDeleteThere is a doofus here, but it is Hughes not Helmburg.