An e-mail alerted me today to the existence of something called 'Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme', available on Amazon. The fun part isn't the product - it's the user reviews! It seems people have let their imagination run riot. The top-rated review reads, in part:
After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and buy some of this as previous shaving attempts had only been mildly succesful and I nearly put my back out trying to reach the more difficult bits. Being a bit of a romantic I thought I would do the deed on the missus's birthday as a bit of a treat.
I ordered it well in advance and working in the North sea I considerd myself a bit above some of the characters writing the previous reviews and wrote them off as soft office types...oh my fellow sufferers how wrong I was. I waited until the other half was tucked up in bed and after giving some vague hints about a special surprise I went down to the bathroom. Initially all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for something to happen.
I didn't have long to wait. At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head. Religion hadn't featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning ... Struggling to not bite through my bottom lip I tried to wash the gel of in the sink and only succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat of hair. Through the haze of tears I struggled out of the bathroom across the hall into the kitchen by this time walking was not really possible and I crawled the final yard to the fridge in the hope of some form of cold relief. I yanked the freezer drawer out and found a tub of ice cream, tore the lid of and positioned it under me.
There's more at the link, and many more reviews (over a thousand of them) may be found linked on the product's Amazon.com page. Funny, after reading them, I have no desire whatsoever to purchase (let alone use) this product . . .
Peter
Oh I'm going to get you. I think I laughed myself into a hernia.
ReplyDeleteShould be a warning label:
ReplyDeleteCAUTION: DO NOT READ WHILE DRINKING COFFEE!
:)