Doofus Of The Day #731

Today's award goes to a group of Greenpeace activists, presently enjoying (?) the blessings of Russian prisons. Yahoo! News reports:

All but four of the activists are non-Russians from countries including Britain, the United States, Finland and Argentina.

Russia has jailed the activists from Greenpeace's Arctic Sunrise protest ship without charge pending an investigation into alleged piracy, after several scaled a state-owned oil rig on September 18.

The activists have complained of cold cells and a lack of suitable clothing and food, said Irina Paikacheva, the head of a state-connected regional prisoners' rights watchdog.

"Many of them are in a state close to shock," she told AFP after visiting the prisoners. "They had never expected that they would face such consequences for their peaceful protest in a democratic state."

There's more at the link.

They're also complaining about crowding, no translators, lack of medication, and a host of other inconveniences.  To all such complaints, my only response is a distinctly unsympathetic "So?  What precisely did you expect from Russian prisons?"  Conditions there are well known.  A holiday camp, they ain't.

Best of all are the comments following the news report.  As I write these words, there are 3,174 of them.  Here are just a few of the early ones:

• "I once attended a Charitable Gifting Conference along with advisors from all over the country. There were several GreenPeace members in attendance. One day at lunch, I sat with several of them and the conversation turned to whales. I asked if people were still killing whales and they said that Japan still hunts them. I asked why someone would kill a whale and they replied that the Japanese eat them. The guy next to me asks what whale meat tastes like and some one else replied that they taste like bald eagle. Everyone at the table started laughing but the Green Peace guys. They got insulted and moved to another table."
• "So they expect prison to be equivalent to a hotel...ya might want to do some research into Russian prisons before you go breaking their laws."
• "Well after a year or so in a Russian prison, a beheading starts to look rather appealing."
• "Time to start learning Russian, develop a taste for Russian food, learn to enjoy the cool temperatures of Murmansk and Apatity, enjoy the simpler fashion styles of Russian Jails, and develop interesting new friendships with your fellow prisoners. Isn't life wonderful."
• "I was on a US flag Merchant ship in 1973 carrying wheat to Odessa in the Black Sea. I got into a bar fight with a Russian (we were both drunk), and spent a weekend in jail (until my Captain came down and bailed me out). Let me tell yah, if US prisons were like that, we would be a nation of Saints. These Greenpeace 'Rich Kids' were looking for the experience of a life time and, By Golly, they found it!"

Go read the other 3,169 of them for yourself.  They're often giggleworthy.

I suppose I should be sorry for my schadenfreude, but in this case I simply can't help it.  Go Greenpeace!  Send more activists to protest in Russia!  We need the entertainment!





Peter