Today's award goes to a politically-correct ultra-feminist mother who doesn't appear to have a clue. WARNING: Language and sensitive subject alert, for those who are worried about such things.
(Background: a teacher sometimes allows 'volunteer parents' to bring in treats for her second grade class.)
So Friday rolls around and the kids are excited. Autumn Lily Speaker comes into the classroom with a pan full of treats and brings them to me and says with a smile "I decided you can use these to teach the kids about the woman's vagina today". Baffled and completely caught off guard I slowly peel the aluminum foil off the pan to behold a plethora of sugar cookie and frosting vaginas. Not just any old vagina, but ALL KINDS OF VAGINAS. There were small, puffy, white, brown, shaved, bald, and even a fire crotch with beef curtains. perplexed I give the parent the most professional look I can muster and quietly reply "I'm sorry Autumn, but I can't give these to my students. This just isn't appropriate."
Autumn bursts with the fury of a thousand angry Andrea Dworkin's and starts yelling in front of the class about how 'I should be proud of my vagina' and 'I am settling for a women's role in life'. Utterly bemused and frozen from shock all I can do is stand and stare at the woman as the word 'vagina' is yelled in front of my second grade class about 987,000 times. Finally after what seemed like an eternity, she storms out of the class leaving her vagina cookies on my desk. I scramble to collect my thoughts and take control of the situation before my second graders develop vaginal PTSD. My only thought is to scrape off the vagina frosting and hand out the plain sugar cookies to my students.
There's more at the link.
Few things leave me speechless; but the crass, almost unbelievable stupidity of any person who would try to distribute this sort of thing to a second grade class . . . words just fail me.
Peter
When you have an agenda, any occasion will do.
ReplyDeleteWV: the mixure
as in-- the mixure using in your Koolaid is too strong, cut it back some, lady
I'm going to go out on a limb and say this is going to be a hoax. There is no identifying information anywhere. Not a city, state, school name, nothing.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, I've seen the alleged photos of the cookies.
I think I'm in the hoax camp on this one. Reasons, in increasing order of plausibility:
ReplyDelete1) Nowadays, offering cookies to a public school class of 2nd graders is as likely to draw a SWAT raid as a casual 'thank you.'
2) "The cookies were actually pretty good" Baked by an "angry radical feminist" ???
3) ". . . even a fire crotch with beef curtains" Albeit hilarious, but I'd expect it from someone who's read a lot of National Lampoon (i.e. a hoaxer) not a public school teacher.