Last week Wear Your Voice, an 'intersectional feminist magazine' (really?), published an article titled - wait for it - "If you’re going to date someone, you want to make sure they’re anti-oppression. Here are 10 things you should ask on a first date".
As a queer femme of color, I keep close relationships with people who go beyond allyship; they’re true accomplices in the fight against white supremacy, queerphobia and misogyny. If you’re not going to support marginalized folks, then we can’t be friends, let alone date. The personal is political.
Beyond the lovely cushioning, happiness and support that we receive from our platonic relationships (which are, in all honesty, soul-feeding and essential), feminists also date! But there are questions we have to ask before we get close to someone.
The following list of questions is applicable for all relationships — certainly not just cisgender, heterosexual ones.
There's more at the link.
My own reaction to such nonsense was fairly blunt and down-to-earth, not the sort of thing I could reproduce in a blog I try to keep family-friendly. However, PawPaw, who can be equally blunt and down-to-earth (funny how us old fart veterans seem to think alike!), has penned his own responses to the lady's (?) list of questions. For example:
1. Do you believe that Black Lives Matter? Yeah, like I believe that white lives matter.
2. What are your thoughts on gender and sexual orientation? There are two genders. That is simple biology. Sexual orientation is more complex. Just so we're clear . . . [details omitted].
3. How do you work to dismantle sexism and misogyny in your life? Are you going to pick up the tab? Or do you intend to perpetuate societal conventions?
4. What are your thoughts on sex work? I had to give it up when I turned 40.
Again, more at the link.
Thanks, PawPaw. I needed the laugh!
Peter
I'm afraid that I've suffered this sort of social snubbing myself. One of my best friends that I'd known for over ten years cut me off due to my religious beliefs which conflicted with her's, specifically, homosexuality. Mind you, I wasn't perfect, nor am I now, and she was a fantastic person, but she viewed things through a lense of moral absolutism. There was no in between. I simply didn't support same sex marriage, but in her eyes that was the same as actively opposing it and decrying all who participated. Nevermind me being a good friend who actively tried to help those with such inclinations without viewing them as bad people. My lack of active support, which directly conflicted with my religion, was more than enough to condemn me.
ReplyDeleteWhat struck me as unusual was the tolerance for the Sharia Law belief that homosexuals should be killed. She had no problem with that at all. Her only reply was that Muslims have been oppressed here in the US, and therefore couldn't be condemned. No, I don't understand it either. It was this strange hierarchy of victimization that I could never wrap my head around, where one group being horrible to another was permissible if they had suffered badly enough.
I must emphasize that even now I don't see her as a bad person, nor others with homosexual inclinations, but I wish for others to understand this strange mentality that is increasingly pervasive these days. I'm saddened that such hardline moral absolutism is splitting people apart more than anything else.
I pray for her and others that their hearts might be softened and that all groups can cool their heads, but I won't hold my breath. Regardless I will do my best to keep helping everyone along in their struggles.
Paw Paw has some good, funny answers. He's a lot nicer than I am. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDelete#1: I'll believe it when blacks stop killing blacks and black women stop aborting their babies.
ReplyDeleteMy brain now hurts. Talk about sanctimonious horse manure.
ReplyDelete"I can’t think of any other religion which has been vilified and lied about more than Islam" I can. See your question number 5. The Jewish people have been lied about for centuries.
Hypocrite!
Here's my answer. If I have to deal with the kind of BS mental weakness that even asking these questions as a perquisite to dating you implies, you'd better go stock up on D-cells.
ReplyDeleteOh, and I'm sticking you with the tab for dinner, 'cause equality. Bitch.