The idle musings of a former military man, former computer geek, medically retired pastor and now full-time writer. Contents guaranteed to offend the politically correct and anal-retentive from time to time. My approach to life is that it should be taken with a large helping of laughter, and sufficient firepower to keep it tamed!
I like that last one with the cemetery because freaking people out is my thing. Once, during an election year, a young female campaign worker for Linda McMahon approached me at a town Independence Day fireworks event. She was trying to hand me a flyer and started her spiel, when I stopped her and said, "Uh, I can't vote because I'm a convicted violent felon."
She backed away quickly and silently. In hindsight I shoulda yelled "BOO!" at her and made her piss herself.
Mom told the story about growing up in a small town. The cemetery was conveniently next door to the hospital. The night shift orderlies and nurses would sometimes take breaks for, ahem, a little recreational activity. White clad figures moving around the cemetery at night, sometimes accompanied by moans and groans, had the young 'uns freaked out.
Oh, no... turns out Ballistic Pumpkin Spice Cerakote is a thing.
ReplyDeleteI like that last one with the cemetery because freaking people out is my thing. Once, during an election year, a young female campaign worker for Linda McMahon approached me at a town Independence Day fireworks event. She was trying to hand me a flyer and started her spiel, when I stopped her and said, "Uh, I can't vote because I'm a convicted violent felon."
ReplyDeleteShe backed away quickly and silently. In hindsight I shoulda yelled "BOO!" at her and made her piss herself.
I liked the last one. As well as the guy having tea with his daughter. Did that some with my own girls.
ReplyDeleteMom told the story about growing up in a small town. The cemetery was conveniently next door to the hospital. The night shift orderlies and nurses would sometimes take breaks for, ahem, a little recreational activity. White clad figures moving around the cemetery at night, sometimes accompanied by moans and groans, had the young 'uns freaked out.
ReplyDeleteThis collection is particularly golden--better even than your usual. Thank you for a better day!
ReplyDelete