The idle musings of a former military man, former computer geek, medically retired pastor and now full-time writer. Contents guaranteed to offend the politically correct and anal-retentive from time to time. My approach to life is that it should be taken with a large helping of laughter, and sufficient firepower to keep it tamed!
Wednesday, January 25, 2023
Modern dating and courtship
Scott Adams is running a series of cartoons on the subject. Here's Dilbert from January 24th this year. Click the image to be taken to a larger view at the comic's Web page.
"After a baby or two"? Seems a bit late by then, doesn't it?
Adams has a keen wit for the employment environment. But he was a total moron on covid vaccines, and is still trying cover his ass with moronic justifications.
Naah, happens every day. People marry the first person who asks and don’t stop to think what do we have in common? Do I even like this person? What do I not like about this person? That’s where dating used to come into play. You would date without sex, over an extended period of time and look at these things. See if they are truly who you think they are before you commit. But the permissive culture of today says its ok for people to ‘hookup’ after a night at the bar. Now everyone has something to lose and they stop looking critically at the other person, marry, mingle the finances, and have a kid or two before realizing they don’t really like the other person. Then it comes apart and the kids suffer the most.
The getting to know you part seems a little obvious, but I read somewhere in a newspaper advice column that "True love is a lot more than 2 set of glands calling to each other" Or words to that effect. So get to really know the other person and think it through for what may be a long haul and if it looks good, refuse to take counsel of your fears and go for it. Oh, and if you want to get an idea of what the other person will be like someday look at their mother/father. It's an indicator.
The odd thing is, the part my ex was deceiving me about about only ranked #4 in the reasons I needed to divorce. We actually get along a lot better after the divorce than when we were married.
It's a good line but Adams is way off the mark. The qualities that men and women find attractive are not the same as the qualities that make for a successful marriage. That gets a lot of people in trouble because there are a lot of bad men who are tall and rich and a lot of bad women who are young and beautiful. But it also means that there are opportunities for even people on the lower half of the attractiveness meter to find people who will be a good wife or husband. And while you can only control so much of what goes into attractiveness (you can't make yourself tall dark and handsome but you can stay in shape and not dress like a slob), you can control whether or not you have the qualities for a successful marriage. Wally isn't stuck being lazy and dishonest and if he stopped being defective in those ways, his long term marriage prospects would be a lot better.
Not in this culture. Women aren't looking for quality, and they aren't bringing it to the table either. Hence hook-up culture, and hitting the wall when your only bait has rotted away.
The people of both sexes who hold out for Right instead of Right Now do better, but monkeybranching for a better option takes its toll on them too.
Get rid of no-fault divorce, and the problem solves itself.
Pilots without a parachute pay a lot more attention to weather, training, and maintenance.
To me, deception is a really bad start to a marriage...
ReplyDeleteBetter late than never.
ReplyDeleteLOL...
ReplyDeleteRemember, dogberts statement was ,someone as defective as you
ReplyDeleteAdams has a keen wit for the employment environment. But he was a total moron on covid vaccines, and is still trying cover his ass with moronic justifications.
ReplyDeletehttps://twitter.com/ScottAdamsSays/status/1617877693013581829
If Adams were one of his characters in real life, he'd be the pointy-haired boss.
It's not too late if all they wanted was the alimony and child support in the first place.
ReplyDeleteFishermen call this "setting the hook".
Naah, happens every day. People marry the first person who asks and don’t stop to think what do we have in common? Do I even like this person? What do I not like about this person? That’s where dating used to come into play. You would date without sex, over an extended period of time and look at these things. See if they are truly who you think they are before you commit. But the permissive culture of today says its ok for people to ‘hookup’ after a night at the bar. Now everyone has something to lose and they stop looking critically at the other person, marry, mingle the finances, and have a kid or two before realizing they don’t really like the other person. Then it comes apart and the kids suffer the most.
ReplyDeleteThe getting to know you part seems a little obvious, but I read somewhere in a newspaper advice column that "True love is a lot more than 2 set of glands calling to each other" Or words to that effect. So get to really know the other person and think it through for what may be a long haul and if it looks good, refuse to take counsel of your fears and go for it. Oh, and if you want to get an idea of what the other person will be like someday look at their mother/father. It's an indicator.
ReplyDeleteThe odd thing is, the part my ex was deceiving me about about only ranked #4 in the reasons I needed to divorce. We actually get along a lot better after the divorce than when we were married.
ReplyDeleteIt's a good line but Adams is way off the mark. The qualities that men and women find attractive are not the same as the qualities that make for a successful marriage. That gets a lot of people in trouble because there are a lot of bad men who are tall and rich and a lot of bad women who are young and beautiful. But it also means that there are opportunities for even people on the lower half of the attractiveness meter to find people who will be a good wife or husband. And while you can only control so much of what goes into attractiveness (you can't make yourself tall dark and handsome but you can stay in shape and not dress like a slob), you can control whether or not you have the qualities for a successful marriage. Wally isn't stuck being lazy and dishonest and if he stopped being defective in those ways, his long term marriage prospects would be a lot better.
ReplyDeleteNot in this culture.
ReplyDeleteWomen aren't looking for quality, and they aren't bringing it to the table either.
Hence hook-up culture, and hitting the wall when your only bait has rotted away.
The people of both sexes who hold out for Right instead of Right Now do better, but monkeybranching for a better option takes its toll on them too.
Get rid of no-fault divorce, and the problem solves itself.
Pilots without a parachute pay a lot more attention to weather, training, and maintenance.