Friday, May 3, 2024

This opens up all sorts of possibilities...

 

I note with some bemusement that Italian bureaucrats are at it again.


Italy’s Ministry of Health has banned “puppy yoga” classes, saying only adult dogs should take part in order to protect the health of animals as well as the safety of attendees.

In a note circulated on 29 April, the ministry said it was aware that organisers often "borrow" puppies from breeders.

But because puppy yoga "improves wellbeing" it should be considered as a kind of "animal assisted therapy" - which by law can only be carried out by fully grown animals.

Puppy yoga typically involves puppies roaming freely around a yoga class and sometimes being incorporated in yoga poses, or a yoga class followed by playtime with the puppies.


There's more at the link.

Puppy yoga does seem to be a thing, judging by the number of videos of it on YouTube.  However, it also appears to be attracting questions, if not criticism.  Therefore, I'd like to offer some of our Texas critters to be used instead of puppies in yoga classes.  For example:

  • Razorback hogs:  Usually a cross-breed between escaped domestic hogs, wild pigs and Russian  boars, the latter introduced in the 1930's by "sportsmen" wanting a wilder, tougher animal to hunt.  (Idiots!)  Guaranteed to make any yoga class an uplifting experience, as students climb the walls to get away from them.
  • Skunks:  Particularly during February, which around here is known as "Suicidal Skunk Season" due to their habit of wandering out into the road at that time of year, getting run over, and leaving an unmistakable smell for miles and miles on local roads.  The odor of sanctity, it ain't!  Repeated application of students' deodorant to the animals may improve things.  Then again, maybe it won't.
  • Armadillos:  Probably the safest animals in a yoga class.  When they curl themselves into a ball, they can be rolled up and down the floor, making avoidance techniques an interesting addition to the standard stretches.
  • Grackles:  They'll add a definite musical (?) dimension to the class, as well as redecorating the studio (and the students) with artistic splotches and stripes from on high.

Readers are invited to suggest in Comments below their preferred animal contributions to yoga classes.  We'll send the lot to the Italian bureaucrats responsible for this ruling, and let them decide what's best for their needs!

Peter


14 comments:

  1. Fish yoga.
    For the proper calming effect, bureaucrats are advised to spend at least 15 minutes per day in the fishes natural habitat.

    TMF Bert

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  2. Not 9 band armadillos! They carry Hansen's disease otherwise known as Leprosy. Or that could be the challenge.

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  3. Rattlesnakes. Might as well give them a real thrill.

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  4. Bear Yoga is already a real thing. Even though Yogi Bear only had one student.

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  5. Carl "Bear" BussjaegerMay 3, 2024 at 1:10 PM

    'Gator yoga.

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  6. Alligator Tai Chi! Great for beginners, the slow, deliberate and artistic movements of the American Alligator, in this class led by a REAL alligator, are both healthful and deeply meditative. Come try the newest martial art and follow along!

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  7. All you have to do is turn a few of those giant red headed Texas centipedes loose in any Yoga session and you will see an amazing increase in energy. If you don't believe me go google "giant red headed Texas centipede".

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  8. Timber rattlers would make good yoga companions. Be relaxed, move slowly, or else.

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  9. According to Wikipedia, the collective noun for grackles is a "plague." https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Common_grackle

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  10. Fire ants would make it a very active yoga session.
    --Tennessee Budd

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  11. Any society that resorts to things like "puppy yoga" has too much free time on it's hands.
    These people need to find or be assigned something useful to do. I imagine Rome had such mindless distractions for it's wealthy available...just before it fell.

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  12. This is Italy! Remember them, they're the ones that had a legal court toss 3 scientists in jail for failing to warn the people about either an earthquake or a volcanic eruption. Their bureaucrats are best sneered at from a distance....

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  13. Amarillo would work ... but only after allowing them to eat a good portion of fermented figs.

    JaimeInTexas

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  14. Maine coon kitten yoga. Five minutes after they are introduced, they cause the entire class to fall asleep. At least that's how it's always worked with us.

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