I've heard of unrequited love, where the object of one's affections doesn't return them . . . but this one is really, really weird.
A man who claims to have had sex with 1,000 cars has defended his "romantic" feelings towards vehicles.
Edward Smith, who lives with his current "girlfriend" – a white Volkswagen Beetle named Vanilla, insisted that he was not "sick" and had no desire to change his ways.
"I appreciate beauty and I go a little bit beyond appreciating the beauty of a car only to the point of what I feel is an expression of love," he said.
"Maybe I'm a little bit off the wall but when I see movies like Herbie and Knight Rider, where cars become loveable, huggable characters it's just wonderful.
"I'm a romantic. I write poetry about cars, I sing to them and talk to them just like a girlfriend. I know what's in my heart and I have no desire to change."
He added: "I'm not sick and I don't want to hurt anyone, cars are just my preference."
Mr Smith, 57, first had sex with a car at the age of 15, and claims he has never been attracted to women or men.
But his wandering eye has spread beyond cars to other vehicles. He says that his most intense sexual experience was "making love" to the helicopter from 1980s TV hit Airwolf.
As well as Vanilla, he regularly spends time with his other vehicles – a 1973 Opal GT, named Cinnamon, and 1993 Ford Ranger Splash, named Ginger.
Before Vanilla, he had a five-year relationship with Victoria, a 1969 VW Beetle he bought from a family of Jehovah's Witnesses.
But he confesses that many of the cars he has had sex with have belonged to strangers or car showrooms.
His last relationship with a woman was 12 years ago - and he could not bring himself to consummate it, although he did have sex with girls in his younger days.
You want to know the scariest thing? He's not alone.
Mr Smith is now part of a global community of more than 500 “car lovers” brought together by internet forums.
I just don't know what to say about this. I mean, I have certain mechanical objects that I enjoy, or appreciate, and others I want to buy . . . but to have a sexual relationship with them? Ugh! Shudder!
Maybe we need to get this guy a Toyota Prius. With all that electrical power on board, he'll probably shock himself as well as shocking others!
Peter
3 comments:
Gives a whole new meaning to the term dipstick.
That's just wrong.
If I catch that guy making out with my 'yota, I'm not only going to back over him, I'm going to replace my exhaust pipe. I don't know what kind of mechanical problems get transfered from that kind of coitus.
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