Can't fool Grandma!

 

There's a wonderful video clip on X showing a perfectly healthy young man pretending to be disabled and begging for money . . . until his grandma comes along and catches him in the act.  The result is comedy gold.

Peter

Graduation without education?

 

I had to laugh at this report of a young graduate at the University of Buffalo who was determined to have his infant son share the stage with him - despite regulations forbidding it due to safety reasons.  Despite campus police trying to stop him, he succeeded.

A University at Buffalo graduate and proud father defied school officials as he ran across the stage to receive his diploma with his young son in tow and police in pursuit, according to viral footage that has been viewed over 8 million times.

Jean Paul Al Arab had promised his son they’d collect his diploma together. He kept that vow at the university’s Alumni Arena on Sunday despite the youngster not being allowed to cross the stage because of safety concerns.

. . .

School security and a police officer attempted to grab the determined graduate, but failed when Al Arab made it on stage and celebrated in front of the raucous crowd.

Al Arab also shook hands with the school administrators on stage before walking off as a police officer waited behind him on stage.

I liked the University's comment about his son.

Al Arab’s son, despite wearing the traditional cap and gown, did not receive a diploma, with the school saying he was a few credits shy of graduation standards.

“We hope to see him back on stage in about 20 years so he can follow in his dad’s footsteps,” the school said.

There's more at the link.  Here's a video clip of the event.

That video should definitely go into the family album for future posterity . . .

Peter

Unspeakable tragedy - but it's not the first time

 

News of a police shooting in Missouri has shocked many readers.

Chilling body camera footage captures a Missouri mom holding her baby as she lunges with a huge kitchen knife at cops who then shoot them both dead.

The newly released footage shows officers — called to a reported family assault — initially talking calmly to mom Maria Pike, 34, as she holds her 2-month-old daughter Destinii Hope while standing inside a closet at her home in Independence.

Eleven minutes into the footage, Pike can be seen suddenly grabbing a large knife from a bedside table and lunging toward an officer.

There's more at the link, including video footage.

I'm sure the police officers are just as traumatized by what happened as the deceased lady's husband.  Sadly, they had no time to think, no time to plan - particularly for a situation like that.  They could only react, and defend their own lives.

It's not the first time I've come across something like that.  I've mentioned before on this blog an incident in South Africa, one where I was an eye-witness.

I was present when a vehicle-mounted patrol was passing through a very volatile area.  A woman rushed out from behind a hut, with a baby strapped to her chest in the typical African manner.  She charged the lead vehicle, holding a Molotov cocktail in either hand, their fuses lit.  The soldiers on the vehicle had a very simple binary choice.  Shoot her - which meant snap-shooting, probably through the baby on her chest, because there was no time to take careful aim and avoid it - or be immolated when the gasoline bombs exploded inside the load bed of the patrol vehicle.  You can imagine their feelings . . . but they were left with no other options.  She, and her baby, died.  Whose fault was that baby's death?  Not the soldiers', I would argue.

Again, more at the link.

What causes a mother to "snap" like that?  How can she even think of endangering her own child in order to attack others?  I don't know . . . for that matter, I don't suppose anyone knows.  For the deceased mother's sake, I can only hope that there was some sort of mental illness or aberration involved - because I can't imagine any mother making a sane, rational choice to act like that.  It's beyond comprehension.

Say a prayer, if you'll be so kind, for the souls of that mother and her child - and for the sanity of her husband, who had to watch that happen.  I don't know if he'll ever be the same man again.  Also, of course, pray for the officers involved, who have to be carrying all sorts of emotional guilt, even though they must know intellectually that she left them with no choice.  Believe me when I say that, even if one hasn't pulled a trigger, the emotional guilt of such an experience takes decades to subside, and is never completely forgotten.

Peter

Another poignant reminder

 

A month ago I put up a cartoon from Stephan Pastis about how those who've died are still with us in so many ways.  I know many of you enjoyed it.

He's just posted another cartoon that in many ways follows on from the first.  Click the image to be taken to a larger version at the "Pearls Before Swine" Web page.

Nothing to add, indeed!  For those of us who believe in God and the afterlife, there's an added element, of course, but the above (plus the previous comic I mentioned) still brings real comfort.

Peter

Gone, but... not gone

 

I've just spent a while talking with a friend who recently suffered a bereavement.  I hope I was able to offer some comfort:  but I also sent him this "Pearls Before Swine" cartoon by Stephan Pastis.  Click the image to be taken to a larger version at the comic's Web page.

So, for those of us who've lost loved ones, a non-theological but very moving reassurance.

Peter

An interesting comparison

 

Reddit recently discussed the average size of a house in the 50 US states, and compared it to average European house sizes.  Click the image for a larger view.

I grew up in an old Cape Dutch-style house in Cape Town, South Africa.  It was double-storied, with massive clay brick walls over two feet thick, which provided insulation against heat or cold depending on the season.  I daresay overall size must have been in the 3,000+ square foot range.  It remains the largest home I've ever had.  When I left home I moved to a studio apartment (i.e. one room, no separate bedroom) of not much more than 200 square feet, including kitchenette and bathroom.  I progressed through several apartments until I ended up, in the late 1980's, owning one with about 1,900 square feet and four bedrooms.

Coming to America, I stayed in church rectories for several years, so I didn't think anything in particular about their size.  Today, my wife and I live in a relatively small house (by Texas standards) of about 1,400 square feet, including a rear porch converted to a small storeroom-cum-office where I'm writing these words.  It's not too big for two physically limited people to handle the cleaning and routine maintenance, but not so small that we can't invite guests to stay from time to time.  The size fits our needs and injury-related restrictions pretty well.

How about you, readers?  What size is your present home, and how well does that suit your needs?  Tell us about it in Comments, so we can compare notes.

Peter

Heh

 

A news report triggered a major flashback memory of my childhood.

The Hudson River Estuary Program fisheries staff reeled in a giant fish out of the Hudson River in New York last week.

The Atlantic sturgeon spreads six feet in length, weighing around 220 pounds, according to a Facebook post from the New York State Department of Environmental Conservation (NYS DEC).

It was caught near Hyde Park, about 80 miles from New York City.

. . .

The staff suspected the unique fish to be a female that had not yet spawned.

Atlantic sturgeons typically spend most of the year in the ocean, but the adults move in the Hudson during this time of year to spawn, the NYS DEC post said. 

Atlantic sturgeons are the Hudson River’s biggest fish, and New York State’s largest sturgeon species, the post said.

There's more at the link.

And the flashback?

Apparently, during World War II, American servicemen brought to the European theater a large number of songs from their homes.  My father, in turn, brought some of them home with him.  One of them, which my father used to hum (and, when my mother wasn't within hearing, sing), was "The Virgin Sturgeon Song".  The first verse is sort-of-suitable for polite company, so here it is:

Caviar comes from the virgin sturgeon.

The virgin sturgeon's a very fine fish;

But the virgin sturgeon needs no urgin' -

That's why caviar is such a rare dish.

There are many other verses, most less polite (and the lyrics at the link leave out all of the really "military verses" that Dad learned - he wouldn't sing those unless he was absolutely sure we kids were out of earshot!  I had to wait until I was in uniform myself before he'd share them.)  If you do an Internet search, you'll find several recordings of the song, some less... er... raw than others.  No, I'm not going to embed one here!  There are ladies among my readership!

It was weird.  As I read that report, I could literally hear my long-dead father's voice in my head, singing the Virgin Sturgeon Song softly to himself as he repaired a piece of furniture or worked on our car.  It was almost unconscious for him, a sort of meditative mouth music.  The song was also one of the less... ah... impolite pieces he brought back from the war, so if Mom caught him singing it (particularly in the presence of us kids), he wasn't in as much trouble as he would be if she caught him singing "The Rape of the Sphinx" or "The Old Bazaar in Cairo".  (An expurgated - highly expurgated - version of the latter may be heard here.)

Ah . . . memories!

Peter

Saving on household running costs

 

We've spoken often in these pages about preparing for emergencies.  Food supplies, weapons, security issues, and a host of other topics have been covered.  However, there are several areas that are seldom mentioned in "prepping" circles:  threats that are so everyday, so routine, that we lose sight of how they might escalate into a real problem - or make preparing for a real emergency harder to afford, because of other drains on our wallets.  I've been discussing some of them with correspondents in recent weeks, and in this article, I'd like to tackle a few of them.

Let's take property and vehicle insurance.  They've gone up a lot over the past few years:  I've seen estimates that they're up more than 25% since 2020, and some estimates put it at over 40%.  Certainly, my wife and I have seen ours go up steeply, but that's partly because our insurer calculates the replacement value of our home at a considerably higher figure than we do.  I'm in the process of discussing that with our insurer, citing local costs and sales prices to prove our point.  That should help to bring our premiums back down, but it won't erase the higher costs completely.

How does one "prepare" for such increased costs?  It's important to watch your premiums closely, particularly notices warning you of an increase.  Your insurer will rate the value of your home according to a formula for your area, which might add too much value for your specific town or location (e.g. a valuation formula for "Northern Texas" is not as focused as one for "Arlington TX" or "Muenster TX").  Don't be afraid to raise such issues with your insurer, and negotiate the replacement value of your home down to a more reasonable level - one that'll cost you less in premium increases.  By doing that every year or two, the cumulative increase in your insurance costs over several years might be quite a lot lower than if you didn't.

Another option is to buy less expensive vehicles;  either a smaller, cheaper new car, or a used vehicle at a lower price than a new one.  Their insurance rate is calculated according to their value.  Buying the higher-end model might cost as much as $50-$100 more per month to insure than buying the entry-level model - and does it really make that much difference to drive the less luxurious version?  When considered along with all the other increases, those savings start to look attractive.  (Until recently, given the outlandishly high prices being asked for used vehicles, it was in many cases cheaper to buy a lower-priced new one such as Kia's Soul or Ford's Maverick light pickup.  Not only did they cost less than a used smaller SUV, but they offered similar interior space for passengers, and depreciation losses in today's market are minimal compared to years past.  I know a number of families who did that, and they've generally been happy with the deals they got.)

How about electricity bills?  They've been rising pretty steeply in our part of the world.  Even though we aren't major consumers of electricity, we're paying several hundred dollars a month for it, particularly now as the heat of summer makes big demands on our HVAC system.  There are many ways to save electricity, from shutting off major appliances like water heaters, not using ovens to cook, adjusting the internal temperature to levels that don't require as much electricity to maintain, and so on.

I'm seriously considering installing a mini-split air conditioning system for our main room in addition to the central HVAC system, because the former functions off a 120-volt circuit instead of 240, and consumes less than a quarter of the power needed by the central system.  If we shut off our central HVAC system when we're out and about, and run only the smaller unit for six to eight hours a day, it'll keep the central part of the house at a comfortable temperature but consume a lot less electricity.  I figure that in two years, the savings will pay for the entire mini-split system, including installation, and after that the savings are all gravy, so to speak.  I've not made a final decision yet, but it's a tempting thought.

If your HVAC system is getting old and you're considering replacing it, it might be worth your while to look at installing two or more mini-split or multi-split systems instead of one big central system.  The cost of installing the former can be half to two-thirds the cost of the latter, and their power consumption, even taken together, will usually be at least a third less than a central system.  Add up those savings and it becomes a rather attractive option, provided your home is constructed in such a way that the smaller systems can be "plumbed into" it relatively easily.

What about municipal and/or county rates and taxes?  It's worth checking on their valuation of your home, and contesting any sudden increases.  Too many counties issue bonds to construct new infrastructure such as schools, emergency services, etc. and then clobber residents with big increases in their rates.  These can be contested, particularly if actual sales prices achieved by comparable properties in your area demonstrate that the valuation is too high.  A lower valuation leads to lower rates, saving you money.

These are just some ways one can economize on one's overall household expenditure.  I'm sure readers have more they can contribute.  If you do, please share them with us in Comments.  We're almost all finding it hard to make ends meet these days.  Why not help each other to make our dollars go further?

Peter

Of dining tables and TV's

 

Courtesy of a link at Larry's place, I was led to this article.

Six out of ten meals consumed in British homes are eaten in front of the television, it emerged today.

Research has revealed that millions of families have all but abandoned the dining table and now retire to the sofa to enjoy their meal.

And as proof they are aware their TV dinners are not perhaps the best way, most admit they are guilt ridden by the bad habit.

A startling one third of us don't even make conversation with our dinner companions while dining in front of the television.

Researchers found the average dinner table dodger tucks into meals in front of their favourite programmes at least six times a week.

The study also found that 45 per cent don't actually enjoy the food they're eating in front of the box, while many opt for easy ready meals and takeaways.

There's more at the link.

I agree that not eating together, not paying attention to each other, is a very negative aspect of many modern families.  However, there's an easy answer, if only people would take it:

GET RID OF THE TELEVISION!

My wife and I took that decision when we married, and I don't think we've ever regretted it.  We don't own a television at all.  If something comes along that we really want to watch, we can either get it over the Internet, or buy DVD's of it, or look on streaming video sites - all of which can be watched on our computer screens.  Major sporting events like the Superbowl are usually watched with friends at one of their homes, with everybody bringing snacks and all of us making snarky comments as we watch developments unfold.  It becomes a social occasion rather than a goggle-box preoccupation.

What say you, readers?  Is the TV a center of your home life, or is it something you can take or leave as the mood suits?  How many of you also don't bother to have a TV at all?  Please let us know in Comments.  This might be an interesting discussion.

Peter

Of parents, inheritance, and greed

 

I could hardly believe my eyes when I read this whiny, self-centered, greedy complaint.

... my parents seem to have developed a full-on travel bug. And with every taken-on-a-whim excursion to Provence, every luxury jaunt to Thailand, New York or Costa Rica, I'm afraid to say I grow ever more resentful.

It is not a pleasant thing to admit, but the fact is their dream holidays are draining my inheritance.

As an impecunious 34-year-old millennial in an impossibly expensive property market, I am relying on, at some stage, a handout from them. But all I can see is my money receding into the distance on a long-haul trip to Bali.

With many of my friends in a similar position, and the cost of living crisis still at full throttle, the question troubling us over the generational divide is this. Who is being selfish? Us for wanting them to save their money so we can one day have it? Or them, for splurging it all so freely on themselves?

. . .

While their pensions are healthy, this level of travel is eating into their savings. Is it unbelievably awful to think of the money they spend on these trips as mine?

They had, after all, mentioned they'd divide any eventual sum between my sister and me, and I've been quietly counting on that to get a leg up.

At 34, I am still renting and living hand-to-mouth. Unlike the boomers, my generation are more used to working freelance or making do with gig economy jobs than climbing the corporate ladder in a solid job for life. Soon, AI will come for the white collar workers among us anyway.

I know that when I finally get on the property ladder, I'm going to be in so much debt that there will be no way out without help.

How can I ever settle down and give them grandchildren if there isn't any money in the pipeline to support them? Do they want to go on holiday more than they want me to be able to have and bring up children?

There's more at the link.

I'm at a loss to explain the writer's attitude.  Where on earth did he get the idea that someone else's money was actually his, by entitlement if not by actual transfer?

I can't speak for others, I guess, but I can use myself as an example.  I was raised by parents who survived the Great Depression in England in the 1930's.  My father and his younger brother were abandoned in a workhouse by their mother after their father left home, because she couldn't cope with the cost of feeding them during economic hard times.  They almost certainly hated every minute of their time there;  but they nevertheless buckled down and got on with it, because there was no alternative.  Dad joined the Royal Air Force in 1936 as a mid-teenager under the Aircraft Apprentice Scheme, and worked like a dog to pass the three-year course and become an aircraft fitter.  He then used that background and his own nose for opportunity to become a commissioned engineer officer, which saw him through World War II.  He and my mother (neither having so much as a Grade 12 school education to begin with) went on to complete their Ph. D.'s after the war, emigrated to two countries, raised four kids, and had, all in all, a pretty successful life.  Did we kids think they "owed" us the fruits of their quite incredibly hard labors?  No way!  They clawed their way out of the gutter and into a middle-class lifestyle through their own blood, sweat and tears, then told us that if they could do it, we could too - and they expected us to do precisely that.  It was up to us to succeed, not up to them to do it for us.

I don't like the way the economy has gone over the past couple of decades, but that's my problem, not something I can expect others to magically resolve.  I don't have a pension from my service as a pastor - I forfeited that when I took a stand over the clergy child sexual abuse issue, as regular readers will understand.  That hasn't made me whine and weep and look to others for support.  It's just thrown me back on my own resources, and I'm using them as best I can to support our family (along with my wife's income, of course).  What right do I have to expect others to pay for me?  None whatsoever, as far as I can see.

Therefore, to read such expectations of his parents, and the implied guilt-trip he's trying to lay on them, infuriates me.  Sure, he's going to have a harder time of it, economically speaking, than his parents did - but their parents probably had it worse than he does, and if he goes back far enough, I'm sure he'll find some ancestors who starved during famines or perished during plagues.

President Theodore Roosevelt had some sage advice that I've made my own since I first read it:

Do what you can,

with what you have,

where you are.

That sums up my life, and the writer's, and everybody else's life too.  We can't rely on anyone else to do those things.  It's up to us.  Anything extra, like winning the lottery, or having generous parents, or whatever, is a bonus - but it's not guaranteed.  We could inherit a million dollars tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow watch as the bottom falls out of the economy and our fiat-currency-millionaire status evaporates like snow on a hot rock.  It boils down to making our own way as best we can under the circumstances confronting us.  If those circumstances are worse than our parents had them - so what?  We still have to cope with them.  They're our problem, nobody else's.

He needs to get his own life, and stop hankering after his parents' lives.

Peter

Remembering a life filled with love

 

I was touched to read about a husband's tribute to his deceased wife in Japan.

In a poem she left behind at her bedside, Yoko Miyamoto prayed for just one healthy week to do some final things for her husband.

“God, please, get me out of this hospital room and give me seven healthy days,” Miyamoto wrote at the start of her poem titled “Seven Days.” “I want to stand in the kitchen on the first day and cook a lot of dishes. I will cook gyoza dumplings and ‘nikumiso’ (miso-flavored braised ground pork), your favorites. I will also have curry and stew frozen for you.”

Yoko, who had been battling cancer, died in January last year at age 70 before her wish could be granted.

Her husband, Eiji, 72, felt compelled to write the poem in a post published in The Asahi Shimbun’s “Koe” (voices) column, thanking his wife for their 52 years together.

. . .

After the post was published, it unexpectedly generated a huge response and was shared by about 190,000 people on social networking sites. Their story was turned into a book in the summer last year and went on to garner even more sympathetic responses ... The poem was also adapted into a song, which was released as a CD single in June this year.

. . .

“The last conversation I had with Yoko was when we had dinner in her hospital room and she said, ‘You should eat first,’ and then I said, ‘OK, I will,” Miyamoto recalled. “She fell asleep and died at dawn. If I had known it would be our last meal together, I would have wanted to say, ‘thank you.’ ”

“Thank you” was also Yoko’s last message to Eiji.

“When I was putting away her belongings after she died, I found a notebook,” he added.

Yoko wrote in a meticulous manner: “It has been fun days since I met you … Thank you for the long time together. I have always loved you so much.”

There's more at the link.

May Yoko rest in peace, and may her husband join her when his time comes.

Love can be a blessing for far more than just the people involved.  By sharing his wife's last poem, Mr. Miyamoto has blessed many people, as the response to his article shows.  Even though I live many thousands of miles away from him, it's been a blessing to me, too:  and I hope, by sharing it here, it'll be a blessing to you as well, dear readers.

I'll let St. Paul have the last word.

Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal.  And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.  And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing.

Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up;  does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil;  does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;  bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never fails.

. . .

And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

Peter

The "something for nothing" society?

 

A while back, CNBC made an interesting analysis of the difference between what millennials expect to inherit, and what baby boomers expect to leave their children.

On the cusp of the greatest generational wealth transfer in history, baby boomers are set to pass more than $68 trillion on to their children ... But they may not be handing down as much as their children think.

Studies show a growing disconnect between how much millennials expect to inherit in the “great wealth transfer” and how much aging boomers plan on leaving them.

More than half, or 52%, of millennials who are expecting to receive an inheritance from their parents or another family member said they expect to receive at least $350,000, according to a recent survey of more than 2,000 adults by Alliant Credit Union. But 55% of baby boomers who plan to leave behind an inheritance said they will pass on less than $250,000.

Part of the discrepancy is “wanting to make sure people have enough money to live on before they start gifting,” taking into account their own life expectancy, long-term care and other considerations, said Susan Hirshman, director of wealth management at Schwab Wealth Advisory in Phoenix.

“There are a lot of what ifs,” she added.

Tack on inflation, geopolitical uncertainty and fears of a recession, and boomers suddenly may be feeling less secure about their financial standing — and less generous when it comes to giving money away.

. . .

At the same time, views of inherited wealth are changing, Hirshman noted. Parents may feel less inclined to pass on large sums of money, she said. The mentality is “I earned this and so should you.”

There's more at the link.

I used to find this interesting - not to mention depressing! - when I was still active as a pastor.  The number of younger family members who approached me about their elders, when the latter were in poor health, and asked me to find out what they'd allocated to their children and others in their wills, was a constant surprise to me.  Even worse were those who were dissatisfied with arrangements they already knew had been made, and who asked me - in some cases, tried to bribe me - to put pressure on their elders to change their wills at the last minute, so to speak.  Some lawyers confirmed to me that they faced the same pressures from younger members of wealthier families.  It seemed that the more people had, the more they wanted, even at the expense of other family members.

In one sense, I've always been grateful that my parents - both born just after World War I - never faced this problem with us kids.  They did well by anyone's standards, surviving World War II, emigrating to a new country and building a new life there, along with four children;  but as a family we were never wealthy.  They used their money, rather than clung to it, so there wasn't very much left at the end of their lives to leave to their kids.  I think we were better off knowing that.  None of us lived in the expectation that our parents "owed" us anything, financially speaking, so there was nothing for us to be disappointed about when the time came.

What also bothers me these days is that so much family "wealth" is tied up in physical objects, or stocks and bonds, where the owners have little or no control over what might happen to their value.  If a housing crash hits, a baby boomers' house that they valued at, say, $750,000 might be worth half that - and that's if they can find a buyer at all.  At today's mortgage rates, that's far from guaranteed.  In the same way, stock and bond prices fluctuate all the time.  If we get hit by a major recession or depression - something that's not unlikely, thanks to the undisciplined spending and feckless irresponsibility of our political leaders - those stocks and bonds will fall with the market.  It can become a financial bloodbath, like the start of the Great Depression, or the South Sea Bubble, or the tulip disaster.  There's no reason whatsoever why we might not see such events unfold in our own time as well.  What that might do to the inheritance some expect is depressingly easy to calculate.

I guess, in so many words, we need to remember that we are responsible for our own life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness - not to mention putting food on our table and a roof over our heads.  In the final analysis, nobody owes us a living.  Our parents and grandparents certainly don't.  It's up to us to make provision for our own needs.  It seems a lot of younger families today (not to mention the "Gibsmedat" generation in our inner cities, and the millions of state-subsidized illegal aliens pouring across our border thanks to the Biden administration's dereliction of its duties) have lost sight of that.

What will happen when the (final) penny drops, and there's no more free money being handed out?

Peter

Interesting speculation

 

Rolf posted this conversation from Reddit on Gab the other day.  It raises all sorts of interesting questions.

Is my dog transphobic??

I (20 mtf) came out as trans in January and started transitioning back in March. My family has a 6 year old border collie that we have had since he was a puppy and ever since I started my transition he has acted more and more strange towards me. In the past he always let me pet him, cuddled with me, got excited when I was around and just generally normal dog stuff, but recently all that has stopped. If I try to pet him now he growls at me and has even barked a few times. When I enter a room that he's in he will get up and leave as if he's actively trying to avoid me all together. He never looks happy to see me anymore. I thought at first maybe he didn't recognize me and just thought I was a stranger (I have longer hair and wear girl clothes and the estrogen is slowly making me very female in appearance). But it continues and he seems to keep getting worse. And he still acts exactly the same as before around my parents and sibling. It's just me that he doesn't like!

Has anyone else experienced anything like this with their pets when they transitioned?? Is it normal or is my dog just a transphobe?? Do you think maybe he can smell the estrogen I'm taking and doesn't like it?

I hadn't previously heard about such complications (?) among the transitioning.  Has anyone come across them before?  Are they pretty similar among M-to-F or F-to-M transitioners, or are they more specific to one regendering?  Has anyone been able to suggest a medical or biological or zoological reason for the situation?

My personal, non-scientific wild-ass guess is that the dog has seen the entire structure of his family turned upside-down because something that was a solid, stable pillar of his existence has been taken away from him, and he doesn't like it at all.  It's hard to blame the poor critter.

Peter

Er... oops?

 

Divemedic recently lost his mother.  Our condolences to him, and may she rest in peace.

As part of settling her estate, he's been having an . . . interesting . . . time.

Even more complicated is that my aunt (mom’s younger sister) died back in March. My uncle (the aunt’s husband) died about a year ago. Mom wound up with the ashes of both of them. We found my aunt’s ashes. We haven’t found my uncle’s. My mom couldn’t stand his ass- she downright hated him. Mom had mentioned to my sister that she was planning on flushing “that no-good sonuvabitch’s” ashes down the toilet in the nastiest, dirtiest gas station bathroom that she could find. (Yes, Mom could hold a grudge) The issue there is that his family wants his ashes returned to them. We can’t find them, and well, I think I know where they went.

How, precisely, does one explain that to grieving relatives?  "Well, we couldn't find the ashes among Mom's belongings, but we have a pretty good idea where you can look for them - at your own risk!"

Peter

If music be the food of love - bad hair edition

 

Mike Hendrix over at Cold Fury, himself a musician and trumpet-player, is giggling over a product he found on Amazon.

Endorsed with all my heart and soul!

Saw that this morning, and I haven’t stopped laughing since ... you can bet your sweet bippy my young ‘un will be getting herself a BrassTache from dear old dad this Christmas to adorn and enliven her noble old King [trumpet]. She inherited the same silly, juvenile sense of humor her old man has, so I know she’s gonna love it all to pieces. And laugh herself sick over it, like papa did.

There's more at the link.

Why do I get the irresistible mental vision of a one-legged Mike, capering around a stage on an improvised crutch next to his two-legged daughter, and both of them tootling away on matching trumpets - with matching moustaches?

Peter

Your feel-good story (and video) of the day

 

The BBC reports:

A bride with a rare disorder affecting her mobility surprised her husband-to-be by walking down the aisle on their wedding day in East Yorkshire.

Carrie Redhead, 27, was born with the digestive condition intestinal lymphangiectasia, or Waldmann's disease, which causes the loss of special proteins from sufferers' intestines.

Two years ago her condition deteriorated, leaving her having to use a wheelchair.

But at their wedding ceremony in Faxfleet in October, her fiance, Joel Redhead, had no idea she was determined to walk down the aisle.

With a video of Mrs Redhead's walk having now been viewed online millions of times, she says she wants to inspire and empower people facing similar situations.

The BBC's own video is at the link, but I can't embed it here.  Here's another news report that I found on YouTube, including an interview with the newlyweds.

Amazing courage and determination from the bride.  You can see for yourself in the wedding sequence how her husband had to wipe tears from his eyes as she hobbled towards him on her father's arm.

God bless them both.  May their example help many other people who are facing similar challenges.

Peter

A father doing his fatherly thing

 

I laughed out loud to see a father demonstrating to his teenage daughter, in the most emphatic way, that her choice of clothing left something to be desired.  Hysterical!  Click the link to watch the video.

https://gab.com/Shazlandia/posts/111439361398804179

Peter

More thoughts on preparedness from "Our friend in the mountains"

 

In the past I've posted some thoughts from a friend who styles himself (for publication) "Our friend in the mountains".  He sent me a couple more e-mails in recent days, and I thought they were worth sharing.

Standing Guard

We've gotten used to the "Designated Driver" - the person in any family or group outing that agrees to not consume alcohol so he or she can do the driving.

It's now time to add the "Designated Watch Stander" - the person who stands watch for the family or group when they are out and about. The Designated Watch Stander has no other duties than standing watch - they don''t provide child care, assist with Grandma, do the cooking or food prep, or play with their phone. They stand watch. The first time they are caught paying attention to their phone instead of Watch Duties they are forever banned, not from watch standing, but banned from the group.

The Designated Watch Stander should be armed - and skilled with that arm -  but there is no reason for them to be the only person armed or skilled in use of arms.

Standing watch is Real Work - properly standing watch consumes a lot of mental energy, which is why in the military one stands watch in 2-hour or 4-hour increments. And when the watch changes the handover of responsibility must be clear and unequivocal - "I am relieving you, I take the watch;" "I stand relieved, you have the watch."

There should also be an "Alert Word;" this is easier with families, but important for groups as well. One word, or simple two-word phrase that is unique and very difficult to misunderstand or mishear, and the response from everyone in the group must be uniform: upon hearing the Alert Word all talking stops, all activity stops, everyone pays attention to instructions from the Watch Stander. No one does the "huh, what?" stupidity dance. It is quie reasonable to take two minutes to develop a response plan, what the group, and its members do, in the event an active threat develops.

All of this requires an understanding that threats exist, from terrorists on paragliders to snatch-and-grab thieves stealing from cars, and everything in between, and that Things Are Serious. Some people will refuse to accept that; those are not people with whom you want to spend time, they are mentally locked into what psychologists call Normalcy Bias, and that can be hazardous to your health and safety.

"Personal status reporting"

Family members can be, and usually are, in very different places during the course of a day, often, in several different places - school, grocery store, work, athletic practice, etc. When "something happens" each will be concerned about the  whereabouts, and status, of each other.

Pick a trusted friend or relative to perform as an Information Clearing House, preferably one some distance away to avoid being involved in the same event; if you live in Miami picking Aunt Sally in Ft Lauderdale is the wrong answer, she will be involved in the same hurricane you are. 

Uncle Ralph in Des Moines is a much better choice, unless Uncle Ralph is a chatterbox who can't keep the calls short, and who needs his reading glasses and a pencil to make notes but can never find either, etc.

The calls need to be short and concise: "Uncle Ralph, this is Suzy, there's been an incident at school that happened when I was in 3rd period Algebra. I'm not sure about all the details, but I'm fine, and my algebra class has been evacuated to the Pine Grove church at 4th and Main St. I'll call with more info as I have it."

"Hi Ralph, this is Fred, I'm at work, everything's fine here, I heard something about an event at a school here, has any family member called?" "Fred, Suzy called, she didn't have any specific details, she's fine, her class was evacuated to the Pine Grove church at 4th and Main St., I haven't heard from Marge or Junior."

"OK, thanks, Ralph, I'll call back at the top of the next hour. My cell is on and with me."

These calls are not "to catch up on things," discuss who is going to what dance with whom, did you get that problem with the outboard motor fixed, exchange recipes, etc. Short and informative. The Info Clearing House person needs to be able to prod callers to get to the point, not let them ramble - it's "who, what, where, when, goodbye." That person should have a list handy with everyone's contact info - meaning "instantly accessible" not buried in a drawer with 6 months of old grocery lists. And, being able to receive texts is very useful - in any emergency telephone systems, both landline and cell, become overloaded and it may be difficult to get through with voice calls but texts are not only "store-and-forward"  - texts will be queued and sent when the system has the capacity to do so - and texts consume a lot less system capacity (bandwidth) than voice calls.

Useful ideas for those preparing to deal with emergencies.  Thanks, "Friend in the mountains"!

Peter

My wife's latest book is published!

 

My wife Dorothy's new science fiction novel, "Dust Of The Ocean", has just been published.  It's currently available in e-book format, and a print edition is imminent as soon as it completes Amazon's pre-print processing, which is currently in hand.

The blurb reads:

In the ruins of an ancient alien city, a half-alien slave's act of mercy will change the course of a cold war.

When Mika saves Arkady, a wounded enemy soldier, he offers her a path to freedom. All it will take is finding a hidden artifact that may alter the course of an interstellar conflict…

But the path there will plunge their team into the depths of inhuman nightmares, battling ancient bioweapons and outwitting her former owners. It's going to take everything they have just to survive, much less escape with their prize!

This is Dorothy's longest work to date, at just under 100,000 words.  It's a stand-alone novel, but is set in the same fictional universe as her earlier "Shattered Under Midnight".  I did a lot of the editing and pre-publication work on her new book, and enjoyed it very much.  I hope you will too.

My next two books are in the works, and should be out within a few months, God and the host of hassles I'm fighting at the moment permitting!  Yes, this is my circus and those are my monkeys, and I'm trying to figure out a way to euthanize as many of them as possible!  I think I need a few weeks with 48-hour days and no need for sleep, just to get on top of the mess.  Life may not be fun at the moment, but it's definitely not boring!

Peter

Following on from yesterday's article about the sexual revolution...

 

... here are two items of interest.  Both deal with sensitive issues, and may be offensive to some readers, so I suggest you don't read further if you want to avoid such difficulties.  Also, if you haven't yet read yesterday's article, I suggest you do so before continuing.

First, here's a TEDx talk by Gail Dines titled "Growing Up in a Pornified Culture".  It shows very clearly the sort of society in which our young ladies are growing up - and it's terrifying to anyone of a more traditional morality.  If you're a parent, you should watch the whole thing.

Next, an article that appeared this morning at The Free Press titled "The Woman Who Stood Up to the Porn Industry—and Won".  Here's an excerpt.

Not only has Schlegel curbed the billion-dollar online porn industry for the first time in history, forcing websites to protect kids in Louisiana and pull out of at least three U.S. states, she has offered a legislative blueprint for others across the country.

“I am truly humbled to see that we began a movement that has swept the country and began a long overdue conversation about how we can protect kids from hardcore pornography,” she says. 

Schlegel’s crusade started back in December 2021. She had listened to The Howard Stern Show and 21-year-old pop sensation Billie Eilish talking about online porn. Eilish told Stern that she began watching “abusive” images at the age of 11, and that this had warped her sense of how to behave during sex and what women’s bodies look like.

“No vagina looks like this,” Eilish told Stern. “I feel incredibly devastated that I was exposed to so much porn.”

Schlegel was struck by Eilish’s openness, that she was “just a young girl being vulnerable enough to share those details with the world.”

The singer’s story also chimed with Schlegel’s professional experience both as a sex addiction therapist and a court-appointed special advocate for abused and neglected children in the foster care system. She knew the issues facing young clients raised on unlimited free online porn—the decoupling of intimacy from sex; the inability to get aroused without porn playing in the background; a warped idea of what your partner actually wants. 

“If you’ve never had your first kiss but you’ve seen hardcore pornography, it’s going to mold the way you view sexuality,” Schlegel said. “You’re not dealing with a fully formed adult brain that's like, ‘Oh, so I shouldn’t strangle my partner?’ ” 

If Schlegel understood the damage pornography causes, she also knew how easy it is for children to access it. And she realized that now she was a state legislator, she was uniquely positioned to do something about it. 

There's more at the link.  Recommended reading.

Both of these resources help to explain why modern relationships are so sexualized, and how they exclude so many traditional aspects of femininity and the marital bond that we discussed yesterday.  I hope they help make sense of the mess so many of our relationships are in.

Peter