Keeping abreast of the law?

I had to laugh at this report from Chicago.

A Chicago lawyer says his opponent in a small claims case is using an unfair tactic by sitting a buxom woman next to him at counsel's table.

Attorney Thomas Gooch says the woman's sole purpose "is to draw the attention of the jury away from the relevant proceedings" - a dispute over a used car. He asks Cook County Circuit Judge Anita Rivkin-Carothers to order the woman to sit in the gallery with other spectators.

In responding to the pretrial motion, attorney Dmitry N. Feofanov said the woman is his paralegal assistant and contends Gooch cites no "good faith legal argument" why she can't sit at counsel's table.

. . .

According to Feofanov, the paralegal, who the Law Bulletin says is identified in documents as Daniella Atencia, has been paid as a paralegal in two court orders by Cook County judges. Both times, the rate for the paralegal was $115 an hour.

"That's not a qualification," Gooch said. "That means Dmitry handed up a bill to a judge that said paralegal on it. I don't believe it's a legitimate thing. It's a sham."

There's more at the link.

Let's see now . . .

• If Counselor Feofanov loses the case, would his client win the 'booby prize'?
• Would the Counselor try to disqualify someone from the jury if they admitted to being a 'leg man'? For that matter, will he regard a law as anatomically discriminatory if it's referred to as 'leg-islation'?
  
• "Your Honor, the defense breasts - I mean, rests!"

Peter