Doofus Of The Day #91

Today's Doofus award goes to the anonymous driver/operator of a road painting truck in Leeds, England. As the BBC reports:

Council contractors have been branded "ridiculous" after painting double yellow lines around a parked car.

The workmen made the decision during resurfacing and road lining work in Hyde Terrace in the Clarendon area of Leeds last weekend.

The car has been removed, leaving the yellow lines bulging out from the kerb.




Leeds City Council said: "The painting of these yellow lines around the parked car is clearly ridiculous." It said the offending lines would be removed.

That's almost as good as the US operator who painted road lines over roadkill!






Peter

The results of 'Oops'!

What do you find if you do an Internet search using the keyword 'Oops'?

The Web site 'Take Stock Of This' found a bunch of rather funny pictures. For example:














There are many more pictures at the link. Enjoy!

Peter

A masterpiece restored

I'm fascinated by the incredible care and painstaking attention to detail required to restore old masterpieces. For example, the restoration of the Sistine Chapel frescoes held my interest for many years.

Now Raphael's five-hundred-year-old 'Maddona Of The Goldfinch' has been restored. According to a news report:

Raphael, who lived from 1483 to 1520, painted the panel in about 1506 - when he was still a teenager - as a gift for the marriage of Lorenzo Nasi, a rich wool merchant.

Known in Italian as the Madonna del Cardellino, it shows the Virgin with two children symbolising the young Christ and John the Baptist. The goldfinch is a symbol of Christ's future passion because the bird feeds among thorns.

When the Nasi house collapsed in 1547, the work shattered into 17 pieces. Ridolfo di Ghirlandaio, a Raphael contemporary, used nails to join the pieces and paint to hide fractures.

It later became part of the collection of Florence's powerful Medici family, who commissioned several interventions aimed primarily at covering traces of the fissures.

Next month, the painting goes on display in Florence's Palazzo Medici in an exhibition on the restoration. Then it will return to its long-time home in room 26 of the Uffizi Gallery.

'We will celebrate it like the return of our prodigal daughter,' said Antonio Natali, the head of the Uffizi.

The enlarged X-ray image below shows the joints in the painting caused by the 1547 accident. Click it (and the other images) for a larger view.

'This patient gave us the most shivers and the most sleepless nights,' said Marco Ciatti, head of the department of paintings at Florence's Opificio Delle Pietre Dure, one of Italy's most prestigious state-run art restoration labs.

'We spent two whole years studying it before deciding whether to go ahead because with the damage it suffered in the past - which was clearly visible in the X rays - a restoration attempt could go wrong,' he said.

Here a technician works on the painting using a microscope and special lighting.




This triple image shows the painting before restoration; during the restoration process; and as it is now, fully restored. Magnificent!




Congratulations to the restoration team on a job well done!

Peter

Thoughts before the election #1

A number of readers have e-mailed me, asking why I'm not providing more thoughts on the election and who I support for President.

The answer's simple. I don't believe I have the right to try to persuade anyone to vote according to my view of the world. I have my own convictions (centrist, with a conservative angle in terms of morality and an emphasis on the individual versus the collective), but I don't want to impose them on anyone else.

I've therefore decided to share, over a few posts, some of the thinkers whom I find valuable in evaluating the candidates for office (whether the Presidency, Senate, Congress, or temporary acting honorary assistant deputy dog-catcher). What I do is to take the ideas of such thinkers and use them as a yardstick to evaluate the candidates. How do they measure up? How well will they implement these ideas or principles? If they don't and/or won't, I can't in good conscience vote for them, irrespective of their political party or philosophy, or their track record.

Today I'd like to introduce you to William J. H. Boetcker (1873-1962). He was a Presbyterian minister, renowned for his motivational public speaking, and had the knack of putting important truths into concise, easily-grasped points.

Among his most famous ideas are the 'Ten Cannots', dating from 1916. They're often attributed - mistakenly - to Abraham Lincoln.

• You cannot bring about prosperity by discouraging thrift.
• You cannot help small men by tearing down big men.
• You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong.
• You cannot lift the wage earner by pulling down the wage payer.
• You cannot help the poor man by destroying the rich.
• You cannot keep out of trouble by spending more than your income.
• You cannot further the brotherhood of man by inciting class hatred.
• You cannot establish security on borrowed money.
• You cannot build character and courage by taking away man's initiative and independence.
• You cannot help men permanently by doing for them what they could and should do for themselves.

I think the 'Ten Cannots' say a great deal about our present society, particularly its emphasis on 'big government' and 'handouts' and 'welfare' and suchlike. I don't believe in any of them. If a given candidate (or political party) has a position that contradicts most of the 'Ten Cannots', the odds are that I can't support them. If the positions of all candidates (or parties) contradict the 'Ten Cannots', I'll have to vote for the person or party who contradicts the fewest of them, on the principle of choosing the lesser of the evils confronting me.

Boetcker also coined the 'Seven National Crimes':

• I don’t think.
• I don’t know.
• I don’t care.
• I am too busy.
• I leave well enough alone.
• I have no time to read and find out.
• I am not interested.

These may or may not apply to our politicians, but they sure apply to us as voters! We should be asking ourselves whether we're guilty of any of these attitudes: and, if so, we should try to change that.

In the days ahead I'll write about a few more thinkers who've influenced me, and helped to shape my outlook. I hope you find them as interesting as I do - and helpful, in this election season.

Peter

Is belly-dancing really good for you?

Ask this belly-dancer!







Peter

When fire engines meet . . .

Let's see now. You have two fire trucks, each responding to an emergency. They meet at an intersection. Who gives way?

For the answer, see the video below.





Sigh . . .

Peter

Doofus Of The Day #89 and #90

There are two real Doofi for your amusement annoyance tonight.

The first (collective) Doofus award goes to the entire team at Nike USA responsible for their athletic promotions. They screwed up mightily at the recent Nike Women's Marathon in San Francisco.

There were over 20,000 competitors in Sunday's Nike Women's Marathon in San Francisco. And 24-year-old Arien O'Connell, a fifth-grade teacher from New York City, ran the fastest time of any of the women.

But she didn't win.

It doesn't get much simpler than a footrace. All it takes is a starting line, a finish line and a clock. You fire the gun and the first person to the end of the course is the winner.

However, as the marathon officials said to O'Connell - not so fast.

While O'Connell had the greatest run of her life and covered the course faster than any woman, she was told she couldn't be declared the winner because she didn't run with the "elite" group who were given a 20-minute head start.




"That's pretty weak," said Jon Hendershott, associate editor of the authoritative Track and Field News magazine, based in Mountain View. "Think of the PR they could have had with this girl coming out of nowhere. It sounds like they got caught totally off guard."

O'Connell, who describes herself as "a pretty good runner," had never managed to break three hours in five previous marathons. But as soon as she started at 7 a.m. Sunday, she knew it was her day. In fact, when she crossed the finish line 26.2 miles later, her time of 2:55:11 was so unexpectedly fast that she burst into tears.

"I ran my best time by like 12 minutes, which is insane," she said.

At the awards ceremony, the O'Connell clan looked on as the top times were announced and the "elite" female runners stepped forward to accept their trophies.

"They called out the third-place time and I thought, 'I was faster than that,' " she said. "Then they called out the second-place time and I was faster than that. And then they called out the first-place time (3:06), and I said, 'Heck, I'm faster than her first-place time, too.' "

Just to make sure, O'Connell strolled over to a results station and asked a race official to call up her time on the computer. There it was, some 11 minutes faster than the official winner.

"They were just flabbergasted," O'Connell said. "I don't think it ever crossed their minds."

No one seemed exactly sure what to do. The trophies had already been handed out and the official results announced. Now organizers seem to be hoping it will all go away.

"At this point," Nike media relations manager Tanya Lopez said Monday, "we've declared our winner."

O'Connell said some race officials actually implied she'd messed up the seeding by not declaring herself an "elite" runner.

"If you're feeling like you're going to be a leader," race producer Dan Hirsch said Monday, "you should be in the elite pack."

. . .

Nonsense, said Track and Field News' Hendershott. He said O'Connell took her best shot, ran the fastest and should have won.

"What's she supposed to do, lay back because she's not an elite runner?" he asked. "If the elites are going to lay back, that's their fault."

Nike later attempted to atone for their error - but in my opinion, they've only made things worse!

O'Connell said she was contacted early this morning by a Nike representative who said they were going to award her a trophy and recognize her as a winner.

Not the winner - "a" winner. Notice the distinction.

"She told me they had been getting lots of calls and e-mails," said O'Connell, a fifth-grade teacher in New York City. "She said they were going to send me the same prize as the one awarded to the winner."

O'Connell's story, which first appeared in Tuesday's Chronicle, set off a firestorm of controversy, most of it directed at corporate sports giant and race sponsor, Nike.

O'Connell said the Nike representative also said that the sports shoe corporation had also decided to eliminate the "elite" category in the annual San Francisco event and would let everyone start at the same time.

Not good enough, Nike. For your incredibly inept and stupid handling of this whole affair, you earn a Doofus award - in spades!

Our second Doofus award goes to a Canadian mother and her son - classic examples of the breed.

A Canadian woman whose 9-year-old son tunneled into an electric sub-station and was badly burned is suing a Manitoba power utility for negligence.

The unidentified boy was one of four children who couldn't get through a locked gate or over a high fence surrounding the transformer on May 29, 2006, so they dug a tunnel beneath the fence, the Winnipeg Sun reported.

The boy touched a live wire and was thrown 15 feet into the air and landed with extensive burns to his upper body.

The incident happened in South Indian Lake, about 400 miles northwest of Winnipeg.

The mother's lawsuit alleges Manitoba Hydro was "aware of the inherent dangers connected with the power transformer ... and in particular, the danger of allowing the site, which was alluring to children, to be accessed by them," the report said.

The suit contends the boy was left with severe scarring and mental impairment.

Hmm. Let's see, now. The utility company put a fence around their sub-station, and a locked gate. Both worked as they were intended, and the kids couldn't get through them - which, as far as I'm concerned, absolves Manitoba Hydro of any further responsibility. The fact that the kids were so badly supervised, and so dumb, as to dig a tunnel to get in, ignoring warning signs and bypassing the security - well, that's entirely their own fault (and their parents', of course).

If I were Manitoba Hydro, I'd file a counter-suit alleging twofold criminal negligence on the part of the mother: first, by not teaching her son basic common sense, and second, by not supervising him strictly enough to stop him being a dumbass! Doofi, the pair of 'em!

And we wonder why insurance companies have to charge such exorbitant liability insurance premiums . . .

Grrr!

Peter

China's software piracy catches up with users

I'm happy to see that Microsoft's efforts to counter piracy of its software are now causing much heartburn in China, which is probably the leading source of pirated software in the world.

Chinese internet users have expressed fury at Microsoft's launch of an anti-piracy tool targeting Chinese computer users to ensure they buy genuine software.

The "Windows Genuine Advantage" program, which turns the user's screen black if the installed software fails a validation test, is Microsoft's latest weapon in its war on piracy in China, where the vast majority of 200 million computer users are believed to be using counterfeit software, unwittingly or not.

"Why is Microsoft automatically connected with my computer? The computer is mine!" one angry blogger wrote on popular Chinese web portal Sina.com. "Microsoft has no right to control my hardware without my agreement."

Another blogger railed over the cost of authorised versions.

"If the price of genuine software was lower than the fake one, who would buy the fake one?" he wrote.

A visitor to a Beijing internet cafe said Microsoft was violating people's rights.

"If, when I'm programing, the computer screen goes black, that will probably cause some important information to be lost," he said. "Who will pay me for my loss then?"




Dong Zhengwei, 35, a Beijing lawyer, described Microsoft as the "biggest hacker in China with its intrusion into users' computer systems without their agreement or any judicial authority," the China Daily said.

"Microsoft's measure will cause serious functional damage to users' computers and, according to China's criminal law, the company can stand accused of breaching and hacking into computer systems," he was quoted as saying.

"I respect the right of Microsoft to protect its intellectual property, but it is taking on the wrong target with wrong measures. They should target producers and sellers of fake software, not users."

The software giant defended the program on its website as part of its "commitment to help protect its intellectual property and to help you avoid problems before they happen."

I'm no fan of Microsoft's 'big brother' attitude, particularly its catastrophic mishandling of the Windows Vista upgrade and its dithering over ongoing support for Windows XP, but in this case I think it's doing exactly the right thing. There are innumerable reports showing that Chinese crooks copy software, movies, music and anything else they can get their hands on, and sell their counterfeit copies for a fraction of the price of the real thing. This costs Western companies, designers and copyright owners billions every year.

Hopefully, this campaign will drive home to Chinese consumers - and that country's Government - the need for a bit more honesty and respect for others' rights.

Peter

Poisonous snakes make bad pets!

That shouldn't need saying, of course . . . but some people seem to assume that prudence and caution don't apply to them. A Canadian snake enthusiast found out the hard way that this isn't so.

Plastic surgery and permanent physical damage may await a Winnipeg man bitten in the face Sunday by a type of venomous snake whose strike can kill a person within minutes.

Authorities were mum on the details behind the bite from the West African gaboon viper and the extent of the man's injuries, but he was upgraded to stable condition after a period where his life was in peril.




Antivenin flown in from Toronto is credited with saving the 31-year-old man's life. It's not known how much venom entered his body.

Winnipeg police spokeswoman Const. Jacqueline Chaput said investigators aren't certain where the bite occurred but it may have been at a location 90 minutes outside the city.

Chaput said the viper has not been found but it may be in someone's possession. She said there's no need for people to be worried about a poisonous snake on the loose.

Chaput said the man, described as a snake enthusiast, was driven to St. Boniface General Hospital by a friend and was conscious and talking when he arrived shortly after 7 p.m. He told staff what happened and what sort of treatment was required.

His condition later deteriorated. He fell unconscious and was in critical condition in the intensive care unit.

Due to his life-threatening state, police were unable to interview him. It is illegal to own or possess any venomous reptiles in Winnipeg.

Dr. Pierre Plourde of the Winnipeg Regional Health Authority said the venom destroys tissue, sometimes requiring amputation or plastic surgery. It also prevents clotting, causes swelling and shock and may damage the heart.

He said the viper can release up to nine millilitres of venom in one strike, but only six-one-hundreths is required to cause death.

"You're talking about less than a drop, even a minute amount," Plourde said.

What puzzles me is how the victim managed to get bitten on his face. I know Gaboon vipers from my many years in Africa. They're fairly sluggish snakes, not prone to attack unless provoked: and they don't have a long strike range. The victim would have had to put his face fairly close to the snake to be bitten there - and no-one in his right mind would put his face close to any member of the viper family!

I'm afraid he's likely to be disfigured for life. Gaboon vipers and other snakes of the species have a poison causing necrosis, which eats away the flesh in the vicinity of the bite. There's a picture available of an extreme example, which went untreated for a couple of weeks.

WARNING: This is a truly horrifying picture.
You should NOT view it if you're at all squeamish!

If that warning doesn't put you off, then click here to view it. The only recourse for that victim would be amputation of the limb. Of course, the Canadian victim was treated fairly quickly: but at least some of his face tissue is virtually certain to necrotize like that. He'll probably be left with permanent scars, even after plastic surgery.

To make matters worse, the snake's gone missing. Police are looking for it, and suspect another snake fancier is hiding it from them.

Please, folks: if any of you are snake-fanciers, don't play around with vipers or other poisonous serpents! The risks are very real. In a 'citified' environment, too many collectors forget that in nature, these creatures are poisonous for a reason - and you or your loved ones or friends may find yourselves on the receiving end without any warning.

Peter

The visitors depart

I was sorry to see my guests leave this morning, but we had a great time together - including a last-minute photo shoot for the benefit of our readers.

For job-related reasons, most of us don't normally publish pictures showing our faces: so we hit on a compromise.




The picture shows Xavier, Ambulance Driver, Lawdog, his brother Chris, and yours truly - but not in that order. Have fun putting rear ends to names!

I've had several requests for a picture of Lawdog, who's one of the more in-demand denizens of blogland. Being a lawman, he didn't want his picture posted, particularly because he didn't want his fellow officers at his present agency to connect him with a certain story he's told: but I decided that truth should out, in this case. Here he is, full frontal.




Good-looking, isn't he?



Peter

A day in pleasant company

Not much blogging tonight, I'm afraid. I'll try to do better tomorrow.

Ambulance Driver and Xavier arrived this afternoon, to join Lawdog and Tole. We spent the day unpacking thousands of my books and stuffing them into bookcases, telling stories of murder, mayhem and mishaps in the medical, police and chaplaincy field, and generally having a great time.

Tonight we all went out to Cajun Landing, one of the best Cajun restaurants I've encountered anywhere, and stuffed ourselves on the finest Louisiana cooking. Stomachs protesting comfortably, we rolled homeward, where I've just introduced my friends to a couple of South African liqueurs. We're currently having a "show-and-tell" of assorted armament. One almost hopes some dumbass chooses tonight to break in here. With so many heavily-armed and well-trained "gunnies" in residence, things should get very interesting for him, very quickly! In fact, we're particularly well equipped to deal with him. We can all shoot at him; a paramedic and a nurse are on hand to patch him up; a cop's here to arrest him; and a retired pastor's available to hear his confession!



My friends will take their leave tomorrow morning, far too soon for my taste. Still, we've had a good visit, albeit brief. Say a prayer for them all for safe traveling on their homeward journeys.

Peter

You've been bubbled!

It seems that a certain 'whoareyou' on the Web site bragster.com (which advertises itself as 'Jackass Meets Facebook') posted a dare to his fellow members:

Pick a fountain, any fountain... Let's see everyone bring the bubbles in a fountain near you. I'll be dropping in my fountain tomorrow.

His challenge has met with results amusing to people like me, and infuriating to the authorities! The famous Neptune Fountain, in the Alexanderplatz in Berlin, Germany was 'bubbled' first. Not to be outdone, the 'French Team' struck a fountain in Lyon, France, and posted this video of their exploits on YouTube.





The latest prankster to strike is 'mr_bubble', who targeted the fountain in Trafalgar Square, London. According to a newspaper article:

'Mr Bubbles' - a 19-year-old film-making student from Kilburn - said: 'I have been wanting to do this for years. I have always been fascinated by fountains and love bubbles. When the French pulled off Lyon, I got some tips from them.

'I used my bath to test the mixture for bubbles and then four of us executed the plan. They switched off the fountains but it was too late. There were bubbles everywhere. A huge crowd formed and everyone was playing with the bubbles. It was funny to watch. It put a smile on a lot of faces and I made sure the materials were eco-friendly. It was harmless fun.'




Mr Bubbles has tried to hide his identity but he is also known as 'Billzy' on the social network and is pictured on his profile page. His previous pranks include directing traffic in a high-visibility jacket and posing as a piece of still art in galleries.

He warned of further foam parties. He said: 'Mr Bubbles is not going to stop at one fountain. Another English city is being targeted this weekend.'

Bragster.com - dubbed 'Jackass meets Facebook'- - has grown to almost a million users since launching in early 2007, with recent dares including heavy metal music in a library.

Authorities failed to see the funny side of the Trafalgar Square stunt.

A Greater London Authority spokesman said: 'Our staff had to check to see whether the substance was anything seriously damaging to a very important piece of architecture. This was an act of vandalism.'

Well, I think the Greater London Authority can relax. It's just a bit of fun - and I'd love to have seen it in person! The video below shows the Trafalgar Square fountain awash with bubbles.





Looks like one could do a fair amount of washing there!



Peter

Hitler's missionaries

An article in the Daily Mail drew my attention to the early ideology of the Nazi Party in Germany during the 1930's.

It seems that the Nazis sent out expeditions to various parts of the world, ostensibly to study natural sciences such as geology, biology, zoology, etc., but in reality to examine the areas they visited with a view to possible German exploitation - even eventual colonization. One of the places they went to was Guyana in South America. According to Der Spiegel, a German newspaper (publishing this article in its English-language edition):

Adventurous German scientists sent by the Nazi regime launched the first expedition into the remote region. Between 1935 and 1937, geologist and pilot Otto Schulz-Kampfhenkel and his men explored the plant and animal world in northern Brazil. The scientists recorded their adventure and turned it into a large-format film that was eventually screened in a number of cinemas in the Third Reich -- and is still considered a one-of-a-kind anthropological document.

During their months long expedition, the Germans managed to gain the trust of the rain forest natives, who allowed them to film religious festivals and rites. But the Germans were especially taken by the indigenous females, and Schulz-Kampfhenkel even fathered a daughter with a local woman.

But the scientists also didn't shy away from hardship during their expedition, dragging more than 11 tons of supplies through the jungle and losing one of their boats when it capsized in a fast-moving river.

The Daily Mail publishes photographs from a forthcoming book on the 'Guyana Project', showing some of the expedition's activities and the relics they left behind. Here, for example, is the grave of one of the Germans on the expedition, one Joseph Greiner, who died on February 1st, 1936, of a fever.




Here members of the expedition are shown with one of their boats. According to a German article in Wikipedia, translated by Google, "Only through the excellent driving of the Indians with their canoes on the rapids of Jary forward, it was the participants of the expedition at all possible, after almost two years to reach civilization again."




This photograph shows Dr. Otto Schulz-Kampfhenkel, leader of the expedition, showing something to a local native.




Dr. Schulz-Kampfhenkel made a film about his expedition to Guyana, "Riddle Of The Jungle Hell". It was apparently very popular in Germany, and is said to be still considered a valuable record of the lives of the natives of the period. A contemporary poster for the film is shown below.




Dr. Schulz-Kampfhenkel went on to serve in the SS during World War II, rising to the rank of OberSturmführer (equivalent to First Lieutenant) and forming a group of geologists, geographers, hydrologists and botanists to conduct research in occupied territories.

It's fascinating to see how far the tentacles of Nazi ideology stretched, far beyond the borders of Germany itself. Thank heavens our forefathers dealt with this menace before those tentacles could become a strangling embrace!

Peter

Lawdog's here!

Lawdog and his brother made it in from West Texas late this afternoon. We've just had a super Mexican supper at a local restaurant, and they're happily hunting through my books while I type this quick post.

I'll try to post at greater length late tonight or tomorrow morning, but right now I'm in entertainment mode - and the three of us are swapping stories of Africa and laughing hysterically. Some of them might even make it onto this blog in due course!

Tomorrow night Ambulance Driver and Xavier are joining us, and we'll be wining and dining late into the night. You may be duly envious.



Peter

In memoriam

Tomorrow, Thursday, October 23rd, is the anniversary of two great tragedies.

In 1956, on that date, the people of Hungary rose up to protest the domination and occupation of their nation by the Soviet Union.




As the BBC reports:

The Hungarian Communist Party met the same night in emergency session and re-instated Imre Nagy as prime minister.

Soviet tanks were still on the streets, however, and the uprising continued.

On 25 October, tanks opened fire on a crowd in Parliament Square at point-blank range.

Hundreds died and were wounded, and the Communist Party was so shocked by the incident that it sacked Erno Gerö, replacing him with Janos Kadar.

Soviet troops began pulling out of the Hungarian capital on 30 October. Mr Nagy formed a government which was dedicated to lifting the shackles of Soviet communism.

By 4 November, the Soviet leader, Nikita Khrushchev, sent in the tanks in a ruthless crackdown in which thousands died and another 200,000 fled the country.




Imre Nagy took refuge in the Yugoslav embassy but was abducted by Soviet agents. He was executed in 1958 after a secret trial in Budapest in which he was accused of high treason.




In 1989, he was officially rehabilitated and reburied with full honours.

Hungary remained under Soviet control until the collapse of communism in 1989.

The second occasion for remembrance is one of the greatest tragedies in the history of the US Marine Corps. On this date in 1983, a suicide bomber drove a truck laden with explosives into their base in Beirut, Lebanon.




241 Americans died: 220 Marines, 18 Navy personnel and three Army soldiers. The Lebanese custodian of the Marines' building also died. Sixty Americans were injured. At the same time, another suicide bomber attacked a French base in the city, killing 58 paratroopers and five Lebanese civilians, and injuring 15 soldiers.

Tragically, the bombings would ultimately lead to the termination of the international peacekeeping mission in Lebanon. The strife in that country has continued to the present day.

To all those who died in Hungary in 1956, and in Beirut in 1983, and to those they left behind, our prayers go out. We remember them, and the importance of their sacrifice: and we shall not forget.

Peter

Not your average hockey game!

Oh, dear . . .

It seems that a certain Jan Huokko was a defensive player for the AIK ice hockey team, based in Stockholm, Sweden. He apparently left the team, and now plays for one of their rivals, the Leksand hockey club.

It also appears that Mr. Huokko recorded (on his cellphone's camera) a rather steamy encounter with his girlfriend. When his cellphone was later stolen, the camera record went with it. It's since been 'leaked' to news media and onto the Internet, and is apparently doing the rounds in Sweden.

Well, this was just what AIK's fans had been waiting for!

Supporters of the Stockholm-based AIK ice hockey team scored an unusual hat trick of heckling on Tuesday night featuring dildos, profane banners, and a giant inflatable penis.

. . .

Ahead of Tuesday’s match against Leksand, the website for AIK’s unofficial supporter group had instructed fans to bring dildos to the match to remind Huokko of the sex scandal which plagued him earlier in the year, according to the Expressen newspaper.

As one of Leksand’s top-scoring defencemen and a former member of Sweden's national team, Huokko is known for putting the biscuit in the basket.

But back in June, Huokko’s reputation for “scoring” took on a different twist when a sexually-charged video clip featuring the 34-year-old blueliner and his girlfriend ended up on the internet.

Huokko had recorded the clip on his mobile phone, and wasn’t surprised to find it spreading like wildfire on the internet after the phone was stolen.

“It was a private thing between me and my girl,” he said at the time.

“That’s what people do when it comes to sex.”

Before Tuesday’s match even started, AIK fans had already littered the ice with dozens of dildos, causing a slight delay as crews worked to clear the sex toys from the playing surface.

AIK fans also unfurled a banner reading “Bend over bitch!”, which was accompanied by a giant inflatable penis.




Vulgar chants directed at Huokko continued throughout the match, which Leksand ended up losing 3-2.

AIK club management was aware of their fans’ plans for knocking Huokko off his game, but elected not to intervene.

“We’d also heard mention of it, but we decided that it would only be worse if we went out and told the fans they were absolutely not allowed to throw dildos on the ice,” said AIK club head Mats Hedenström to the newspaper.

Lars G. Karlsson, an official from Sweden’s ice hockey association, called the sex-toy storm “a non-issue”.

“It didn’t affect play at all. People barely noticed it,” he said.

And despite the AIK supporters’ best efforts, Huokko took the mocking in stride.

“For me it was just a regular hockey game. It was no problem,” he said following the match.

“I’ve got nothing to be ashamed of.”

I've heard of matches being disrupted by rowdy fans . . . but never with a hailstorm of dildos, a rude sign and a giant inflatable sex organ! Verily, the mind doth boggle . . .

Peter

Yesterday's post about an atheist advertising campaign . . .

. . . attracted some interest and responses. I won't respond to the responders here: but Labrat, one of the (two) Atomic Nerds, made a very interesting comment. She linked to the Web site of Professor Steve Dutch at the University of Green Bay, WI, more specifically to an article he's written entitled "What Religion Can And Cannot Do".

I found the article excellent reading: also the appended article on "God's Grandchildren" (partly quoted in the first article, with more at the link provided). A few samples from both:

There's a Difference Between Religion and Magic

Most of the actions just described can be labeled magic, the notion that some intrinsically meaningless action on our part can motivate God or the universe to act on our behalf, or avert misfortune. Isn't it absurd to believe that the ruler of the universe cares beans about someone sitting through an hour or so of church each week, or dropping a quarter in the collection plate, or getting married in a church when neither party has the slightest intention of fulfilling their vows? Isn't it preposterous to believe the ruler of the universe will suspend cause and effect to intervene on someone's behalf just because that person performs some ritual? Atheists think so.

And here's the surprise. So do all theologians. You will not find any significant theologian of any religion stating that going to church, saying rote prayers, making contributions, getting married in church, having a religious funeral, or publicly identifying yourself with a religion are of the slightest value in and of themselves. Christianity, Judaism, and Islam are unanimous in agreeing that personal commitment to God is paramount, and without that commitment, observances alone are of no value. The observances are of value in so far as they reinforce and deepen the commitment, motivate others to commitment, and act out the commitment by doing good in the society. Believing they have any power in and of themselves is simple superstition.

We can summarize the difference between religion and magic like this:

• Religion asks "How can I conform to the will of God and the Universe?"
• Magic asks "How can I get God and the Universe to conform to my will?"

. . .

The Billy Joel song "Only the Good Die Young" is a celebration of the notion that religious belief deadens and inhibits people. We Interrupt This Web Page For An Important Public Service Message. Religion is not responsible for your lousy sex life. There are a lot more people that want to date 10's than there are 10's to go around. It's that simple. Whatever attractive personal qualities you may have, you can be sure there's someone smarter, richer, and sexier out there who has those same qualities. Studies have also shown that while women tend to assess their attractiveness fairly accurately, men consistently overrate themselves. The middle-aged comb-over is testimony to how bad it can get. Check your personal hygiene and social skills before complaining that religion makes society so puritanical.

. . .

In an open society with full freedom of belief, people are largely free to select whichever creed they find most satisfying. Since people are complex and reality is chock full of tensions that are hard to resolve, it's inevitable that people who approach religion with the utmost rationality may still end up all over the religious map, depending on what issues they perceive as most pressing. To a great extent, this kind of diversity is essential to a healthy and well-balanced society. People who stress the need for individual responsibility and strict morality on the one hand, and people who stress the need for compassion and social responsibility on the other, keep each other in balance and provide reality checks on each others' views. If there are many valid and beneficial forms of art or music that appeal to different people, it's just as reasonable to suppose there are many valid and beneficial forms of religious experience as well, and the society and the religion are healthier for that diversity.

But it's also inevitable that a lot of people will gravitate toward religions precisely because those religions agree with what they already want to believe. Narrow minded and judgmental people tend to gravitate toward narrow minded and judgmental religions. Emotional people tend to gravitate toward emotional religions. White suburbanites have a distinctly upper middle class God, very different from the Black Baptist God.

. . .

Does Religion Corrupt People, or Do People Corrupt Religion?

Given the endless ways religions can be subverted and co-opted, the wonder is less that religions commit evils than that they do any good at all. And given the way Marxism was transformed into an unchallengeable dogma in the 20th century, the simple-minded prescription of John Lennon's Imagine:

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too

doesn't seem to offer much prospect of a solution. After all, Khmer Rouge Cambodia, Stalinist Russia and Enver Hoxha's officially atheistic Albania didn't exactly shine as beacons in the darkness. One could readily see, in a world where Lennon's ideals somehow gained supremacy, that a few generations later people who atavistically clung to national identities or religious beliefs would be ostracized and persecuted. Solely because of the threat they posed to peace, harmony, and all-round good vibes, mind you.

In fact, blaming religion for the ills of the world is a wonderful way to avoid taking a hard look at human nature. It's a variation on the "noble savage" myth and suffers from the inevitable failure of believers in the myth to ask how innately benign people could ever be attracted to repression in the first place, and how we can guarantee that eliminating all forms of repression in the present will prevent its returning in the future.

"Strait is the gate, and narrow is the way" indeed, and "few there be that find it" (Matthew 7:14). As psychologist Bion discovered half a century ago, even when someone knows the path, people avidly seek opportunities to wander away and take the group with them. And even when the path is brightly lit and well marked, people move the path markers, shoot out the lights, put up alternate path markers, and denounce the original markers as illegitimate.

Excellent stuff! I'm very grateful to Labrat for recommending these articles.

I note that Prof. Dutch approaches religion from an inquiring, academic standpoint. I don't know whether or not he has any personal religious belief. I applaud his practical, open-minded approach: indeed, I wish more believers would read this sort of thing, and be prepared to give equally open-minded, honest answers about why they believe, and how this affects their lives. It's no good for us, as believers, to tell others that "God told me to do it this way" when our audience doesn't believe in God, or believes in a God radically different to our understanding of the Deity!

(I'm reminded of the graffito found on a University campus a couple of decades ago: "GOD IS BLACK!". Someone soon added underneath: "YES, SHE IS!")



As the Bible commands those of us who are Christians:

Always be prepared to make a defense to any one who calls you to account for the hope that is in you, yet do it with gentleness and reverence; and keep your conscience clear, so that, when you are abused, those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to shame. (1 Peter 3:15-16, RSV).

Kudos to Prof. Dutch for an excellent, informative and thought-provoking look at the subject. I encourage all my readers to click over to his Web site and read the full articles. They're worth the time and effort. When you've read them, think about how you'll answer those who question your faith (or the lack thereof): and start preparing a defense of the way you've chosen to live, and the light that guides your way. You'll find it an interesting exercise!

Peter

Another adventurer sets sail

I've written about modern adventurers in the past, including James Castrission and Justin Jones, who crossed the Tasman Sea by canoe, and Kenichi Horie, who sailed from Hawaii to Japan in a boat powered by the motion of the waves, arriving on July 5th.

Now British sailor and adventurer Pete Goss has set out to sail from England to Australia, accompanied by three members of his family. Their boat isn't your usual yacht: it's a replica of a 19th-century fishing lugger, the Mystery, which made the journey in 1854.




The original journey was quite an achievement. One of her crew, Philip Curnow Mathews, wrote to the Cornish Telegraph newspaper in October 1874, describing the journey.

Sir,

Referring to a paragraph that appeared in your issue of the 3rd of June, relative to the voyage of the fishing boat Mystery from Penzance, Cornwall to Melbourne, Australia, I would wish (if you can find space in your valuable columns) to make a few remarks in connection with the voyage.

Before doing so allow me to correct one or two errors you made. We never betook ourselves to fishing, as you stated; but sold the boat almost immediately after our arrival at Melbourne and followed other avocations. The Mystery was 16 tons (builders measurement) not six tons, as appeared in your columns. She was 33 feet length of keel and 11 feet 6 inches breadth of beam.

We left Mount’s Bay on the morning of the 18th of November, 1854, with a crew of seven men – Richard Nicholls, Job Kelynack, Richard Badcock, William Badcock, Lewis Lewis, Charles Boase, and myself. Our cargo consisted principally of provisions and water. On March 14th, 1855, we cast anchor in Hobson’s Bay, Melbourne, thus accomplishing the voyage in 115 days, including seven days stoppage at the Cape of Good Hope, where we put in for a supply of water. We were eight days from England to Madeira, and on the 35th day out we made the Island of Trinidad. On the morning of the 17th of January 1855 we arrived to the Cape of Good Hope, being 50 days out. On January 24th at 6 p.m. we got underway from Cape Town and proceeded on our voyage with H.M. mails on board.




Nothing interfered with our progress until February 18th, in lat. 40.5 south, long. 82.25 east, where we encountered a very heavy gale, which necessitated our riding to a raft for nine or ten hours. Riding to a raft is a system adopted for safety. Ships heave-to under such circumstances. On February 23rd another heavy gale visited us in lat. 39.57 south, long. 98 east. We again rode to a raft for four or five hours. On the 5th March we met with another very heavy gale in lat. 40 south, long. 129.19 east, which compelled us to ride to a raft for 12 or 14 hours. The weather was pretty favourable after that date until we got to our destination.

Of the seven men who came to Australia five returned to their native home. I have seen the death of Mr. Charles Boase, one of the crew, in your obituary of the date referred to, making three deaths out of five. Lewis Lewis died in Castlemaine Hospital, Victoria, some ten years ago. I am the only one of the crew now remaining in this part of the world. I would also inform you that the Mystery is the smallest craft on record that ever made such a long voyage. By inserting the above you will greatly oblige one of the Mystery’s crew.

I have the honour to be, sir, your most obedient servant,

P. C. Mathews

Mystery's arrival in Australia was announced by the Shipping Gazette and Sydney General Trade List, of 26th March 1855, as follows:

On Thursday last there arrived in Simon’s Bay, the Mystery, a small fishing smack of 16 tons, from England, bound to Melbourne. The little gallant adventurer has made an excellent passage of 60 days. On her arrival in Simons Bay, she was considered to be a Table Bay cutter, and on that account was not boarded by the Harbour Master. He did not know the real character of the diminutive craft, until he observed the captain and his crew quietly beaching their bark and hauling her with ease on the shore.

The original Mystery was sold by her crew in Melbourne for £150. She was in use as a pilot cutter in Rockhampton, Queensland, when she was wrecked on March 26th, 1869. Her crew were saved.

Speaking of his re-enactment of Mystery's voyage, Pete Goss says:

I guess I was vaguely conscious of the Mystery but not really aware of it until I heard from Campbell McKenzie and Diana Berry about four years ago. Diana, being related to six of the original crew, wanted to do something to celebrate the 150 anniversary of their voyage. Campbell, quite rightly suspecting that it would stir my interest, came down, introduced us and sowed a seed.

Ultimately, thanks to a variety of circumstances, we didn’t do anything but I found I couldn’t get it out of my mind and would spend the odd spare minute diving into Google to see what I could find. My interest just could not be satisfied and it became clear that this was what I wanted to do next. It’s quite different from any previous projects and I guess I am drawn to it for a variety of reasons. I love wood and have always wanted to build a wooden boat; the voyage is irresistible and the more I find out about these guys the more I feel that their story needs to be told. It’s a perfect project for Cornwall Playing for Success and is something that we can enjoy as a family.

In short I just fancy it and, as in the past, I find that is enough to just get up and go for it. So here we are on the brink of another exciting adventure that has the added element of history which I find I am really enjoying – the kids say that it is because I am getting older and balder and I suspect they are right.

The replica, Spirit Of Mystery, was built using authentic materials and tools. She's shown here after being brought out from the boatshed, during the fitting of her masts.




Here she is on launch day. Note that she's fully decked over. This isn't typical of fishing luggers, but was done to the original Mystery to improve her seaworthiness.




Below the deck is a cabin where the crew will live. The limited space available can be seen in this photograph, taken during construction.




The chart table is made from timber salvaged from Admiral Nelson's flagship, HMS Victory.




After launch, several months were spent in training the crew to sail the lugger, and learning how she handled in various sea conditions.




Thanks to Ronald K. for sending me the photographs above.

Pete Goss will be live-blogging the journey. You can follow him and his crew at the expedition Web site. They'll be navigating by the stars, as the original voyagers did. Some aspects of the voyage will be modern, though. Pete Goss admits, "We will however wear Musto HPX and eat the very best of food for I have no wish to eat salt pork and dabble with the possibility of Scurvy."

The video clip below contains an interview with Pete Goss, and shows the launch of Spirit Of Mystery.





We wish them the best of luck! I'll be following Pete Goss' blog at the expedition Web site.

Peter

Atheism is bus-ting out!

I wonder what the reaction will be to the British Humanist Society's latest advertising campaign? They've just launched a fund-raiser to display advertisements on London buses reading, 'There's Probably No God. Now stop worrying and enjoy your life.'




As the Guardian put it, 'The godless move in mysterious ways' - and the Times, tongue firmly in cheek, called it a 'heaven-sent ad opportunity'.

I'm amused by the campaign, and, perhaps oddly for a believer and a pastor, I fully support the right of those behind it to display these advertisements. There are far too many so-called 'people of faith' who don't really have faith at all! They don't so much believe as follow a comforting ritual they learned from their parents, or drifted into without much consideration of what was involved. There are a huge proportion of believers - of every faith, not just Christianity - who honor their 'belief' far more in the breach than in the observance. They may show up to services, but their way of life outside the service is often the diametrical opposite of what it should be.

I think this atheist campaign might actually do a lot of good, in that it may make people think about their faith. If they ask themselves, "Why do I believe?", that can only be a good thing. Blind faith, unexplored, unanalyzed, is seldom a meaningful thing. It's more of a knee-jerk reaction. I'm all in favor of a thorough exploration of reality, leading to a reasoned, rational commitment to the system of belief one chooses. That's why I believe as I do.

I'm never offended by those of other beliefs, be they other Christian churches, non-Christian religions, or atheists. I fully support their right to believe - or not - according to their understanding, and the light they've been given (or exposed to) in their lives. Of course, I expect them to extend to me the same courtesy. Unfortunately, militant atheism - like so many militant philosophies or doctrines - can't demonstrate tolerance and acceptance like this. It's the chief failing of organizations like the BHS. For example, they're part of the Accord Coalition, which is campaigning at present to remove State funding from religious schools that base their entry requirements on the practice of a given faith. Trouble is, no-one is forcing parents to enrol their kids at such schools: and since those same parents pay taxes for education, why shouldn't they have the right to have those same taxes applied to their kids' schooling? If you remove State assistance from such schools, effectively the parents concerned will be paying tax for something that is of no benefit to them at all.

My perspective would be that either such parents should be exempted from the general education taxation, so that their funds are freed to educate their children as they wish; or that taxpayers should have the option to designate the education portion of their tax payments as either being for secular education alone, or also available for faith-based schools. In this way, the rights of the taxpayer and believer alike would be respected.

I have several atheist friends and acquaintances, and we get on just fine together. They know that I'm a believer, but I don't try to shove it down their throats or beat them over the head with a Bible. I know they don't believe in God, but they don't try to mock or scorn me for my faith. Given that mutual tolerance, we're able to associate in relative harmony. I wish more people of faith (or atheism) would try harder to demonstrate the same acceptance! If Jesus were alive today, and met an atheist, I can't see Him turning his back on him in contempt. I rather think He'd try to talk to him with respect and love, and show him by His example that there's more to life than nothingness. I try to do the same.

As I've said before on this blog, I don't think religion is something one believes - it's something one lives, something one does. It's an action, rather than a verbal statement or intellectual position. I hope that the BHS campaign makes some who are believers in name only, rather than in lived reality, examine their positions more closely. It might help them to put their faith into practice a little more!

Tolerance notwithstanding, I have to close, tongue in cheek, by quoting the late Archbishop Fulton Sheen. His definition of an atheist was: "A man with no invisible means of support!"



Peter

The best-carved pumpkin I've ever seen!

With Halloween approaching, the shops are full of pumpkins, and local 'artists' are advertising that they'll carve your pumpkins into masterpieces - for a suitable fee, of course. I don't celebrate the commercial version of Halloween - I focus more on All Saints Day, November 1st, from which 'All Hallows Eve(n)' or Halloween takes its name - but I enjoy looking at the many and varied artistically-carved pumpkins that show up at this time of year.

I suspect I may be somewhat less impressed by local efforts this year. Don Z. e-mailed this picture of a pumpkin masterpiece.




I have to admit, that's the most intricately-carved pumpkin I've ever seen! I imagine even H. P. Lovecraft would approve of it.

Peter

EDITED TO ADD: I've subsequently learned that the pumpkin was the work of US artist Ray Villafane. I've published another article about his pumpkin carving art, with more photographs of his work and a link to his tutorial on how to carve your own. Recommended reading.