The inimitable Dave Barry has put up his annual survey of the year just past. Here are a few highlights from 2014.
JANUARY
In Colorado, the new year begins on a “high” note as the sale of recreational marijuana becomes legal. Despite dire predictions from critics that this will lead to increases in crime and addiction, state law-enforcement officials report that if you stare for a while at the flashing lights on top of their cars, you can see some amazing colors.
FEBRUARY
President Obama hosts a state dinner for French President François “Le Muffin de Stud” Hollande, who arrives at the White House driving a red scooter with two women riding on the back and three more chasing on foot.
MARCH
General Motors recalls 1.5 million more cars to correct a steering issue that causes certain models to deliberately aim for elderly pedestrians.
APRIL
General Motors, in what analysts view as a shrewd tactical move, announces that it is recalling 435,000 Fords.
JUNE
As California’s brutal drought worsens, state law-enforcement agents, operating under emergency authority granted by the legislature, raid Cher’s home and confiscate an estimated $3 million worth of moisturizer.
There's much more at the link. Go read it all for a good laugh.
Peter
1 comment:
I personally liked this one:
"...This new operation — against a group called “ISIL,” an abbreviation that stands for “ISIS” — is hampered when a technical glitch causes the Pentagon’s Operation Name Generator to spew out a string of unacceptable candidates, including Operation Staunch Bedspread, Operation Iron Tapeworm and Operation Thunderous Bidet..."
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