Divemedic recently lost his mother. Our condolences to him, and may she rest in peace.
As part of settling her estate, he's been having an . . . interesting . . . time.
Even more complicated is that my aunt (mom’s younger sister) died back in March. My uncle (the aunt’s husband) died about a year ago. Mom wound up with the ashes of both of them. We found my aunt’s ashes. We haven’t found my uncle’s. My mom couldn’t stand his ass- she downright hated him. Mom had mentioned to my sister that she was planning on flushing “that no-good sonuvabitch’s” ashes down the toilet in the nastiest, dirtiest gas station bathroom that she could find. (Yes, Mom could hold a grudge) The issue there is that his family wants his ashes returned to them. We can’t find them, and well, I think I know where they went.
How, precisely, does one explain that to grieving relatives? "Well, we couldn't find the ashes among Mom's belongings, but we have a pretty good idea where you can look for them - at your own risk!"
Peter
11 comments:
Just sweep out the fireplace, put it in a container from Goodwill, say, "yup, we found him," and be done. Nobody needs the trauma of a gas station bathroom, dead or alive.
Sorry, I laughed way too hard at Divemedic’s mother’s comments.
My cousin committed suicide. He and his daughter, who wound up settling his estate, were on the outs. We know cremation occurred. That is a record we could check. His burial plot in the family space is empty. Our best guess is she dumped him in a Port-a-John somewhere. Her justifiable animosity against him extended to the rest of the family. We will never know.
I am currently in posession of 3 sets of cremains.
My childless brother, and 2 of his pre-deceased wives.
I have no idea what to do with any of them. No one from the wives' families has contacted us, and they've been dead more than 5 years. My brother left no instructions. I tried to use our parents' grave, but the cemetary won't allow it.
I'd rather not hand this problem down to the next generation, and I need to plan better for my own ashes I suppose.
I wonder if Divemedic would like to take one set off my hands? Half serious.
Jen beat me to it. I was going to suggest a little sharing from the ashes of the aunt. At least that way they're kinda all from the same family.
On a more personal note, I'd said (separately) to my parents that cremation is such a practical thing as there is always a little concreting job around the house that needs to be done. They both laughed.
To avoid future complications, I'd suggest telling the truth that you actually know. Which is that you can't find them among her possessions. Leave out the speculation about what she did with them. You don't know that.
You could mention that there had been reference to a boat trip, possibly for spreading of ashes...
I am not convinced the family will want to look for them.
I’ve made it known that if nothing else, half goes into the nearest lake or ocean. The remainder somewhere in a nice patch of woods
I had an acquaintance who died and wished to be buried at sea. His family had a friend drop the ashes from his Cessna while the friends and family looked on from the beach. It was the widow's request.
I asked the pilot how things went at the ceremony. He said half the ashes made the Atlantic and the rest stuck to the side of his aircraft. He ended up washing them off at the municipal airport. He said they will eventually make the ocean so he didn't bother telling the family.
I have it made known my ashes are to be put in our manure spreader and spread on the pasture.
We dumped my cousin's ashes from the highest bridge in Wyoming (over Sunlight Creek, if you're curious). It was spectacular. The key thing to remember is to always dump down wind.
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