CederQ, who blogs with Phil over at his place, put up a meme this morning. I can't reproduce it here, because it's definitely Not Safe For Work and not family-friendly: here's the link, if you don't mind the risk. Even so, I had to laugh out loud at the caption. It reads, on the top line:
SAYS SHE STRIPS TO FEED HER KIDS
On the bottom line:
GETS MAD WHEN YOU THROW CANNED GOODS AT HER
The captions, combined with the NSFW image, had me laughing out loud.
Seriously, though, I can't tell you how many times, as a pastor and a private individual, I've been asked for help by someone. Almost always, their need is stated to be something physical, like food, a bus ticket, or whatever. However, when I offer to buy them the thing(s) they need, rather than give them money, they get upset with me. It's quite clear they want the money for other things, and I'm the bad guy for "giving them a hard time" by havering about it.
I will admit, I've never tried to throw canned goods at strippers (or anything else, for that matter). I've never even been to a strip show or club. Nevertheless, I'm curious about the ballistics. What size can? What contents? How hard should it be thrown? Answers in Comments, please - but keep it clean!
Peter
12 comments:
I threw a bottle of Extra Virgin Olive Oil but it bounced right back.
Tuna would be appropriate.
Must it be canned or bottled? Could we throw live mackerel or something more entertaining?
I was going into a McDonald's in Dallas to get some breakfast (was on travel, I don't live there) and a dude asked me for some money because "I haven't eaten in three days".
I did my standard "I won't give you money but I'll buy you some food".
I was shocked when he said yes and "thank you" very sincerely. First time that's ever happened to me. Took him in with me and told him "order whatever you want". He said "are you sure?" several times before ordering. I told him "yes...whatever you want". He ordered a couple egg McMuffins he said he'd save for later and one of those breakfast platters with pancakes and such. I ordered my breakfast bagel and coffee and paid.
He was so effusive with his thanks it was almost embarrassing.
As I said, that's the first and only time anyone's ever taken me up on my offer and it felt good to see how thankful he was for it.
Most of the time, as you said, they get mad when you don't fall for their scam.
In response to the meme...it's understandable that she'd get mad...I mean look at her...she's already got all she needs in the way of "cans".
Throw those little packets that comes with food. Ketchup, mayo, hot sauce, soy sauce and maybe a loaf of bread. Soft items so she doesn't get injured and condiments to mix with the canned goods. Lime the edge of the stage with the canned goods. You know the Dr. not going to believe her story of being pelted by canned good.
I usually throw ten year old food bank Van Camps Pork and Beans...
Bags of frozen food acceptable?
Seems reasonable. Being hit by a can hurts. Plus then the can is dented and it's a pain to open without spilling everywhere. Maybe just give her a bag full as she's walking off stage?
It's been my experience that the people who truly need help seldom ask for it while those bleating about needing it rarely do.
Met up with a guy who offered to clean my truck in exchange for a McDonald's breakfast when I was traveling to a rifle match. I watched closely from a very short distance. As soon as he started he saw gun cases. Poor guy came rushing inside to tell me he was a felon and could not be that close to guns. He was almost in tears at the thought of missing out on a meal. He insisted on washing all the glass. I bought him several breakfasts for which he was extremely grateful. Wherever he is, I wish him well and hope his circumstances are greatly improved.
Sardines. The flat cans they come in will tuck nicely into her (am I allowed to say this?) G string
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