Last Friday I mentioned that my blog post that day would be abbreviated due to a medical appointment. I duly attended it, and it accomplished what I wanted. I asked about alternative neurosurgical practices, since I'm not happy with the one I've been using, and the doctor referred me to another neurosurgeon in Dallas for further investigation. (It seems the problem is to decide precisely what surgery I need: to fuse two or three more vertebrae in addition to the existing pair, or to remove the latter and encase my entire lumbar spine in a sort of metal cage to stabilize the whole area. There appears to be serious disagreement over which approach would work best, so I've asked for a second opinion from a more professional professional, if you know what I mean.)
So far, so good . . . but then I called the new doctor's office to set up the appointment. The conversation went something like this.
Me: I've been referred to Dr. X for further investigation of my spine injury. My medical insurance is XYZ, and you should have been sent my medical history, copies of X-rays and myelograms, and all that stuff.
Doctor's nurse: Let me check . . . Yes, we have those. You'll have to get another myelogram, though, because the previous one was done more than six months ago. Dr. X won't see you until the new results are available.
Me: Er . . . this is a problem. A myelogram is a very expensive and complex procedure. I can't just ask for it as a private patient: I have to be referred for it by a doctor. However, if Dr. X won't see me, he can't issue the referral; and my local general practitioner certainly can't do so, because it's a specialist procedure. I can't ask for a referral from my previous neurosurgeons, because I'm moving on from them. What now?
Doctor's nurse: I'm afraid that's Dr. X's protocol. He won't see you without an updated myelogram.
Me: Well, his protocol has just run headlong into medical bureaucrats, and I'm pretty sure they're going to win. You're asking me to do the impossible.
Doctor's nurse: I'm sorry, but my hands are tied. You're going to have to find some other way to get that myelogram.
Me: Hangs up, bites tongue, bangs head against brick wall, etc.
I checked with my general practitioner, and sure enough, they can't refer me for a myelogram because it's a specialist procedure, outside their area of competence. The neurosurgery practice that ordered the previous myelogram has no good reason to order another one. After all, I'm going to see one of their competitors for a second opinion, so they'll expect the new doctor to prescribe whatever tests he thinks are necessary. They're not going to do it for him.
"Laugh!", they said. "Things could be worse!" So I did. And they were.
Oh, well. This, too, shall pass . . . I just need the administrative equivalent of an enema for the bureaucrats, to make sure it does!
Peter






