I just had an interesting exchange with the bereaved friend I mentioned earlier. He says he has to provide a "family supper" for a dozen or more people this evening, but he's not a real good cook. What do I recommend?
Well, that's easy. A cheesy chicken pasta bake is dead simple, and you can get the ingredients almost everywhere. However, his extended family prefers fish to poultry. I checked, and he does have some boxes of paella mix in his pantry; so that's what I've recommended. If you don't know paella, I thought you might be interested too.
You can make up your own paella from scratch, and if you have time and energy to do so, I think it's the best way (there are lots of recipes out there). However, to speed things up, you can also buy paella mixes from stores. I prefer this one, either large size or small size; the big one will feed 3-4 adults (or 2 hungry teenagers!), so I usually make three or four of them at once in a giant paella pan. (I use this huge family-size skillet; it makes enough that I've fed twelve people out of it, including seconds for those who wanted them. It's not a pan I use often, but when I need to cook for a lot of people, it's the one I reach for.)
When it comes to adding seafood, the can that comes with the paella mixes mentioned above is very tasty, but there's not enough of it. I usually add more seafood, which can include cuts of fish from a supermarket (cod or another white fish from the sea [not freshwater fish], pre-cooked, usually, then pulled apart and added to the paella); cans of any combination of smoked oysters, chopped clams, mussels, etc.: and (for a treat) a couple of cans of sprats. I usually at least double the amount of the seafood in the can(s) from the paella mix(es), and often triple it.
As for the cooking, it's dead easy with the paella mix; just follow the instructions on the box. It takes no more than half an hour or so to have it ready, or a bit longer if you're adding extra ingredients. (You might also decide to use chicken instead of fish, if you don't have enough seafood in your pantry and don't have time to buy it. I prefer to make chicken with pasta instead of rice for a big, cheesy dish, but that's just my personal taste.) There are many recipes to make the whole thing from scratch, which aren't difficult to follow. At any rate, if it's a difficult time such as a bereavement, a quick, easy-to-prepare dish that will make everybody feel a bit better is a very useful thing.
Peter
10 comments:
The guy lost someone close and HE needs to make dinner for twelve??? ...Some family...
Riffing on Peteforester
When I discovered my marriage was over and I filed for divorce, I went through a bad time. I lost my identity, my job, my income, and ultimately, my family farm. On the support website I used, we often discussed "the casserole effect".
Generally, but apparently not in your friend's case, when you lose a spouse due to death, you get tons of sympathy, lots of visits and support calls, and people trying to cheer you up or at least console you. And food. You get people dropping off meals that are ready to eat, or ready to stash in the freezer to eat later.
When your faithless wife stabs you in the back, you get isolated, shunned, and left alone to stew in your own juices. And you have to find your own food, and do your own self-care. Alone and mostly unsupported. I had to pay a counselor to listen to me whine.
I often lamented "Where's my d*mn casserole?" I'd be wealthier, less bitter, and probably healthier and happier if she had died instead of cheating.
I feel sorry for your friend, and hope for the very best for him. Loss is loss. And he deserves casseroles.
What Pete above said. What the heck? The family members should be shilling out for some takeout, at the least.
Though I can see, if the family members are all old, that someone would have to cook, but the newly-widowered widower?
That's what KFC or Publix or even Whole Foods is for. Get a dinner spread. Boston Market or stores like that. Even Cosco or such (for rotisserie chicken) and trays of sides.
And... Where is the widower's community? No Church? No associations? No friendly neighbors? (that last one, yeah, it ain't the 50's nor the military out there...)
Ohhh, paella...
Hand that man a fiddy an tell him to stop by kfc on the way home.
Inappropriate at this time, but I can't hear of paella without thinking of the episode of the BBC spoof cooking show "Posh Nosh" that did paella:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CfN4_52loC4
I sometimes have a variation of paella, inserting a foil envelope of flavored tuna with oatmeal. Adding cheese slice that is folded into pieces is recommended but not required. A good way to add protein into your breakfast - the office microwave cooks this in a minute and a half. A large mug of this is filling.
As others have said, WTH?
Either declare a pot-luck and everyone attending has to bring something, or else a Costco sammich tray with some cheese dip. And to hell with what their dining preferences are, you either eat what's served or go home hungry. The bereaved should never have to cook for others. And if the extended family has to travel too far to make bringing something from home realistic, there's always the bucket of chicken from KFC option.
Folks, a number of you have expressed astonishment that a bereaved person should have to (or be expected to) prepare a meal for a large group under such circumstances. In our US culture, sure, that's not expected or even appropriate: but in a number of other cultures it's entirely appropriate, and an expected part of the mourning procedure. A lot of those cultures are now represented here, too, and their customs have followed them (at least in the first and possibly second generations here).
Cooking for the family could be a way of serving them in the sense of caring for them, the same way the deceased would have, and of honoring the service of the deceased. It also gives the cook something to focus on, and a set task to do that can be "checked off" and seen as one step done out of many, a way to start working through the process of loss.
TXRed
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