CederQ, who blogs with Phil over at his place, put up a meme this morning. I can't reproduce it here, because it's definitely Not Safe For Work and not family-friendly: here's the link, if you don't mind the risk. Even so, I had to laugh out loud at the caption. It reads, on the top line:
SAYS SHE STRIPS TO FEED HER KIDS
On the bottom line:
GETS MAD WHEN YOU THROW CANNED GOODS AT HER
The captions, combined with the NSFW image, had me laughing out loud.
Seriously, though, I can't tell you how many times, as a pastor and a private individual, I've been asked for help by someone. Almost always, their need is stated to be something physical, like food, a bus ticket, or whatever. However, when I offer to buy them the thing(s) they need, rather than give them money, they get upset with me. It's quite clear they want the money for other things, and I'm the bad guy for "giving them a hard time" by havering about it.
I will admit, I've never tried to throw canned goods at strippers (or anything else, for that matter). I've never even been to a strip show or club. Nevertheless, I'm curious about the ballistics. What size can? What contents? How hard should it be thrown? Answers in Comments, please - but keep it clean!
Peter
17 comments:
I threw a bottle of Extra Virgin Olive Oil but it bounced right back.
Tuna would be appropriate.
Must it be canned or bottled? Could we throw live mackerel or something more entertaining?
I was going into a McDonald's in Dallas to get some breakfast (was on travel, I don't live there) and a dude asked me for some money because "I haven't eaten in three days".
I did my standard "I won't give you money but I'll buy you some food".
I was shocked when he said yes and "thank you" very sincerely. First time that's ever happened to me. Took him in with me and told him "order whatever you want". He said "are you sure?" several times before ordering. I told him "yes...whatever you want". He ordered a couple egg McMuffins he said he'd save for later and one of those breakfast platters with pancakes and such. I ordered my breakfast bagel and coffee and paid.
He was so effusive with his thanks it was almost embarrassing.
As I said, that's the first and only time anyone's ever taken me up on my offer and it felt good to see how thankful he was for it.
Most of the time, as you said, they get mad when you don't fall for their scam.
In response to the meme...it's understandable that she'd get mad...I mean look at her...she's already got all she needs in the way of "cans".
Throw those little packets that comes with food. Ketchup, mayo, hot sauce, soy sauce and maybe a loaf of bread. Soft items so she doesn't get injured and condiments to mix with the canned goods. Lime the edge of the stage with the canned goods. You know the Dr. not going to believe her story of being pelted by canned good.
I usually throw ten year old food bank Van Camps Pork and Beans...
Bags of frozen food acceptable?
Seems reasonable. Being hit by a can hurts. Plus then the can is dented and it's a pain to open without spilling everywhere. Maybe just give her a bag full as she's walking off stage?
It's been my experience that the people who truly need help seldom ask for it while those bleating about needing it rarely do.
Met up with a guy who offered to clean my truck in exchange for a McDonald's breakfast when I was traveling to a rifle match. I watched closely from a very short distance. As soon as he started he saw gun cases. Poor guy came rushing inside to tell me he was a felon and could not be that close to guns. He was almost in tears at the thought of missing out on a meal. He insisted on washing all the glass. I bought him several breakfasts for which he was extremely grateful. Wherever he is, I wish him well and hope his circumstances are greatly improved.
Sardines. The flat cans they come in will tuck nicely into her (am I allowed to say this?) G string
Yeah, and she’s in pre-med with one year to go.
What this young lady wants is money, preferably c-notes, preferably without having to work for them. Beyond that she’s interested in shoes, recreational substances, and any relationship that doesn’t involve getting the crap slapped out of her on a regular basis.
I used to work with a group of strippers, and they fall into two groups. One strips until they age out, then they learn to be cocktail waitresses or something. The other group is trying to pay the bills and figure out some kind of exit strategy. The majority are not what I'd call bad people, but all of them know that clock is ticking and the years roll by.
Yes, I do believe tucking it into her G string is proper protocol.
I have had a few run ins where offer of food was sincerely accepted. Or put some gas in a car. Had a fellow vet in the grocery store a year or so ago ask for money for groceries. I walked him around store and filled is basket and went and paid at checkout. He had been in hospital for a while and life was collapsing because he hadn't been able to work for a while. I was kinda sad at a lot of what he wanted to buy, gave a word or two of advice on what to buy that cost 4x less and went 2x farther. However wasn't something that my being willing to help a fellow vet was dependent on.
Really is sad how many people spend money they don't have on food that isn't going to do the job when they have enough money in the first place to buy more food than they or their family can eat.
As to the guy that was a felon and the guns issue. This pisses me off. I know that bad rep cons have and some of it is well earned. However If somone has served their time and society believes they are safe to release the they should get all their rights back. self defense, voting, etc..
How the hell is someone if they have served time supposed to drag their asses out of the ditch and become a working member of society if you still have a fucking boot on their neck holding them in the ditch.
Wife's got some kin that served time. Not stone cold killers just young idiots with anger issues and drug issues. real bad mix. they served time for deeds done. Still don't trust them around my family but still you got to give them the ability to get back on their feet and build something for them selves or they are going to go find someone that knows someone from inside that can give them a job without a official background check that would get them stopped cold from a normal job. Bet on what that unofficial job will be?
kin seem to almost be staying out of trouble and getting jobs but its been years and they are at the bottom of the pile. At least on the pile but still. Not sure how much thats them and how much is reduction of opportunity. They are a couple of states away and we don't see them hardly ever.
If you don't think they will be safe on the streets then don't let them go.
I have a couple of rants in the same vein. Legal age to carry a gun is one of them. If your old enough to serve your old enough to buy and carry any damn thing that you want. If your not old enough to own that gun then your not old enough to vote nor to serve in the military. You should still be defined as a child.
ehhh.. im in a grumpy mood today... don't listen to me :) lol
NSFW? Not where I work. The woman is clothed, no "naughty bits" showing.
If you're an ex-con and you want to work and have a comfortable living situation, try the trades. I was once told that if you want to get into the BoilerMaker Union, you just about have to be an ex-con (that might have been a joke). I am personally aware of one young man who did 3 years for B&Es, and became an Electrician--first Apprentice, then Journeyman, and very recently passed his Master Electrician exam. He's making a boatload of money--all legally.
Post a Comment