This morning's award goes to an Italian woman.
A middle-aged woman in Italy was forced to ask the fire brigade for help after she lost the keys to her chastity belt.
The woman, who has not been named under Italian privacy law, turned up at a fire station on Wednesday morning in Padua, in Italy’s Veneto region, and said she needed help with a lock she could not open.
Firefighters, believing she had locked herself out of her house, began asking for details about where she lived.
It was only then that the woman revealed the specific nature of the problem, pulling up a jumper to reveal an iron chastity belt.
“I’ve lost the keys to a lock and I can no longer open it,” she told a group of stunned firefighters at the fire station in San Fidenzio.
. . .
The woman explained she had chosen to wear the belt to prevent herself from embarking on a sexual relationship.
There's more at the link.
They do say that persistence is the key to success, but I'm not sure whether that would have been entirely true in this case - the situation was somewhat impenetrable, after all! Her pleas for help must have been truly e-lock-quent . . .