Things you've done

El Capitan, over at Baboon Pirates, is circulating a meme he got from Adam Lawson. It lists 100 activities. You're supposed to highlight those you've done in bold print. Anything not in bold . . . well, you haven't got around to that yet.

I thought I'd have a go.


THINGS I'VE DONE:

1. Started your own blog. You're reading it.
2. Slept under the stars. Many times.
3. Played in a band. Church bands, but I guess they count?
4. Visited Hawaii.
5. Watched a meteor shower. Many times. In the Southern Hemisphere, the skies are clearer and brighter than in the North, and there were many nights when we'd lie outside and watch the stars, meteors and satellites.
6. Given more than you can afford to charity.
7. Been to Disneyland.
8. Climbed a mountain. Many of them.
9. Held a praying mantis.
10. Sang a solo.
11. Bungee jumped.
12. Visited Paris.
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea. It's quite an experience on a small yacht . . . easier and less scary on a warship or larger vessel.
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch. If photography counts as an art.
15. Adopted a child.
16. Had food poisoning. Uh, yeah. Nasty.
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty.
18. Grown your own vegetables.
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France.
20. Slept on an overnight train. Many times in South Africa, on the two-day run between Johannesburg and Cape Town.
21. Had a pillow fight.
22. Hitch hiked.
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill.
24. Built a snow fort.
25. Held a lamb.
26. Gone skinny dipping.
27. Run a Marathon.
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice.
29. Seen a total eclipse.
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset. One of my favorite pastimes.
31. Hit a home run.
32. Been on a cruise.
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person.
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors.
35. Seen an Amish community.
36. Taught yourself a new language. Two at school, two on a 'learn-as-you-go' basis: five in all.
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied.
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person.
39. Gone rock climbing.
40. Seen Michelangelo's David.
41. Sung karaoke.
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt.
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant.
44. Visited Africa. I was born and grew up there.
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight. Many times. Happy memories.
46. Been transported in an ambulance. Both as patient and as medic!
47. Had your portrait painted.
48. Gone deep sea fishing.
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person.
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris.
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling. The latter.
52. Kissed in the rain.
53. Played in the mud.
54. Gone to a drive-in theater.
55. Been in a movie.
56. Visited the Great Wall of China.
57. Started a business. If a ministry counts as a business?
58. Taken a martial arts class. Judo and Kendo, in my youth.
59. Visited Russia.
60. Served at a soup kitchen.
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies.
62. Gone whale watching.
63. Got flowers for no reason.
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma. All three.
65. Gone sky diving.
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp.
67. Bounced a check.
68. Flown in a helicopter.
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy.
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial.
71. Eaten Caviar.
72. Pieced a quilt.
73. Stood in Times Square.
74. Toured the Everglades.
75. Been fired from a job.
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London.
77. Broken a bone.
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle. And fallen off one!
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person.
80. Published a book. My first book was published in 1984.
81. Visited the Vatican.
82. Bought a brand new car.
83. Walked in Jerusalem.
84. Had your picture in the newspaper.
85. Read the entire Bible.
86. Visited the White House.
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating.
88. Had chickenpox.
89. Saved someone’s life.
90. Sat on a jury.
91. Met someone famous.
92. Joined a book club.
93. Lost a loved one.
94. Had a baby.
95. Seen the Alamo in person.
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake.
97. Been involved in a law suit.
98. Owned a cell phone.
99. Been stung by a bee.
100. Read an entire book in one day. Oh, yes! I think my record for one day was six books, all fairly thick ones. In the two to three years immediately after my disabling injury in 2004, and subsequent surgeries, there were times the pain was so bad I couldn't sleep at all: so I'd read for 24 hours straight, perhaps longer.

Well, there you are. I've done 59 of those things. 41 to go!

I invite my blogging readers to give this meme a go for themselves.

Peter

Getting creative with vegetables

There have been a few articles in recent weeks about how vegetables can be used for creative, rather than merely digestive, purposes.

An English artist, Carl Warner, draws rough sketches of his artworks, then uses vegetables and other foods to create them. Click the pictures for a larger view.



Field of dreams: The countryside landscape has broccoli for trees, potatoes for rocks and basil and herbs for the grass. The path is made from nuts, while the basket is bread with a mushroom wheel. The balloons were crafted out of apple, mango, a strawberry, bananas, garlic, lemons and a lime.



Gone fishing: Only sustainable fish were used to create this seascape, including oysters, scallops and crabs in the foreground, mackerel and herrings for the sea itself, and pollock and sprats for the banks. Thyme stands in for trees, while the boat is a marrow with a mangetout mast.



Pasta master: This Tuscan home is full of tasty treats, such as fresh pasta curtains and tablecloth, bowls made out of fresh tomatoes and walls created from fresh Parmesan.


You can see more of his artwork here.

On the other side of the world, Chinese artist Ju Duoqi is producing copies of Old Masters using vegetables. Here's her interpretation of Leonardo da Vinci's Mona Lisa:




And Vincent van Gogh's classic self-portrait:




More of her work may be seen here.

Finally, on a less artistic and more scientific note, Owen Louis of Portsmouth, England, claimed that he'd managed to power his iPod by plugging it into an onion soaked in Lucozade!




This inspired satirist Jonathan Margolis to have a go at it himself.

... I didn't have a lab coat to hand, but I do own plenty of electronic gubbins, so out came the soldering iron, wire strippers and multi-test meter, which I use occasionally to mend stuff. Not very successfully, I might add.

First, I had to butcher an iPod charger lead to establish which two of its several wires carry the current to power up the iPod.

It would be no use applying the mighty power of the onion to the bit of the device where the music goes in.

Apart from anything else, if the onion did push out any power, should I apply the volts to the wrong bits, it would probably blow the iPod's - or in my case, iPhone's - delicate circuits.

Next, the task was to secure a supply of copper and zinc bits to stick in the fruit.

I got copper and some zinc nails in Homebase, but they were only zinc and copper-plated, so when I set up my first test battery I could squeeze only a barely measurable fraction of a volt from even a lemon, which is the most common source of fruit power.

I eventually located pure zinc and copper bits in a children's chemistry set.

I also bought a large number of onions, plus lemons, oranges and apples in case of onion failure.

Young Owen's Lucozade detail posed less of a problem supplies wise, though none of my scientist friends with whom I discussed the experiment thought it would make any difference.

The notion even occurred that the whole of this week's onion-in-Lucozade-powering iPods story might be a cleverly conceived marketing stunt to make us associate Lucozade with energy. Perish the thought. So to the test.

Not since the giant Cern collider was turned on in Switzerland can there have been as much tension around a scientific experiment, although mine was mostly because I had by then spent almost a whole day getting my zinc and copper bits and didn't fancy discovering I'd wasted my time.

I started, Owen- style, with a single Lucozade-soaked onion and used his method of simply sticking the ordinary iPod charger lead into it. Not a volt to be seen.

I then did a test run with a lemon and the proper zinc and copper connections, one piece of each metal stuck into the fruit, just to make sure the principle was correct. Bingo.

When I connected the meter, I got half a volt from a single citrus. That must be why electricians call electricity juice, I thought.

On to onions. Out of respect to Owen again, I continued the apparently pointless Lucozade bath procedure and connected my first soaked onion.

Amazingly, it kicked up more than a lemon on my meter - almost an entire volt.

By the time I'd connected eight onions together, it wasn't so much bingo as 'eureka!'.

Five volts, the holy grail of iPodery.

I even cried, but that was probably just the onions.

I then connected up the whole, increasingly smelly, apparatus to the iPod lead I'd butchered.

By then I had deliberately run down my iPhone to complete flatline battery dead level.

Even when you pressed the 'on' switch for several seconds, there wasn't a peep of life in it.

But connected to my onion battery, the screen began to glow faintly and indicate that, yes, it was charging.

It doesn't do so for long - five to ten seconds at a time. And the onions do wear out rather quickly. I might have to try a few more varieties before the technology is quite there.

It had been one of those science experiments which has absolutely no practical use at all, just the kind that old Mr Clayton liked.

I don't quite see fruit-and-veg power becoming a viable way of keeping the DVD going if the end of the world comes and the power goes out.

But the principle is rather glorious, isn't it? You can charge an iPod from onions. Not very well, but it's possible.

And with a few hundred, you could almost certainly charge your phone completely.

And here was me thinking that vegetables were for eating! Amazing what creative minds can do with them.

Peter

Thanksgiving

On October 3rd, 1789, President George Washington signed the following proclamation.

GENERAL THANKSGIVING

BY THE PRESIDENT OF THE
UNITED STATES of AMERICA,

A PROCLAMATION.

Whereas it is the duty of all Nations to acknowledge the providence of Almighty God -- to obey his will -- to be grateful for his benefits -- and humbly to implore his protection and favor: And whereas both Houses have, by their joint committee, requested me "to recommend to the people of the United States, a DAY of PUBLICK THANKSGIVING and PRAYER, to be observed by acknowledging with grateful hearts the many and signal favors of Almighty God, especially by affording them an opportunity peaceably to establish a form of government for their safety and happiness:

NOW THEREFORE, I do recommend and assign THURSDAY, the TWENTY-SIXTH DAY of NOVEMBER next, to be devoted by the people of these States, to the service of that great and glorious Being, who is the beneficent Author of all the good that was, that is, or that will be: That we may then all unite in rendering unto him our sincere and humble thanks for his kind care and protection of the people of this country previous to their becoming a nation; for the signal and manifold mercies, and the favorable interpositions of his Providence in the course and conclusion of the late war; -- for the great degree of tranquility, union and plenty, which we have since enjoyed; -- for the peaceable and rational manner in which we have been enabled to establish Constitutions of Government for our safety and happiness, and particularly the national one now lately instituted; -- for the civil and religious Liberty with which we are blessed, and the means we have of acquiring and diffusing useful knowledge; -- and in general, for all the great and various favors which he hath been pleased to confer upon us.

AND ALSO, That we may then unite in most humbly offering our prayers and supplications to the great Lord and Ruler of Nations, and beseech him to pardon our national and other transgressions; -- to enable us all, whether in publick or private stations, to perform our several and relative duties properly and punctually; to render our national government a blessing to all the people, by constantly being a government of wise, just, and constitutional laws, discreetly and faithfully executed and obeyed; to protect and guide all sovereigns and nations (especially such as have shewn kindness unto us); and to bless them with good government, peace and concord; to promote the knowledge and practice of true religion and virtue, and the increase of science among them and us; and generally, to grant unto all mankind such a degree of temporal prosperity as he alone knows to be best.

GIVEN under my hand, at the city of New-York, the third day of October, in the year of our Lord, one thousand seven hundred and eighty-nine.

George Washington

(Click to enlarge)

During the next seven decades, the observance of Thanksgiving, as we call the holiday today, was fairly regular, but it wasn't recognized as a public holiday. That had to wait for President Lincoln's proclamation in 1863.

By the President of the
United States of America.

A Proclamation.

The year that is drawing towards its close, has been filled with the blessings of fruitful fields and healthful skies. To these bounties, which are so constantly enjoyed that we are prone to forget the source from which they come, others have been added, which are of so extraordinary a nature, that they cannot fail to penetrate and soften even the heart which is habitually insensible to the ever watchful providence of Almighty God. In the midst of a civil war of unequalled magnitude and severity, which has sometimes seemed to foreign States to invite and to provoke their aggression, peace has been preserved with all nations, order has been maintained, the laws have been respected and obeyed, and harmony has prevailed everywhere except in the theatre of military conflict; while that theatre has been greatly contracted by the advancing armies and navies of the Union. Needful diversions of wealth and of strength from the fields of peaceful industry to the national defence, have not arrested the plough, the shuttle or the ship; the axe had enlarged the borders of our settlements, and the mines, as well of iron and coal as of the precious metals, have yielded even more abundantly than heretofore. Population has steadily increased, notwithstanding the waste that has been made in the camp, the siege and the battle-field; and the country, rejoicing in the consciousness of augmented strength and vigor, is permitted to expect continuance of years with large increase of freedom. No human counsel hath devised nor hath any mortal hand worked out these great things. They are the gracious gifts of the Most High God, who, while dealing with us in anger for our sins, hath nevertheless remembered mercy. It has seemed to me fit and proper that they should be solemnly, reverently and gratefully acknowledged as with one heart and voice by the whole American People. I do therefore invite my fellow citizens in every part of the United States, and also those who are at sea and those who are sojourning in foreign lands, to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next, as a day of Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the Heavens. And I recommend to them that while offering up the ascriptions justly due to Him for such singular deliverances and blessings, they do also, with humble penitence for our national perverseness and disobedience, commend to His tender care all those who have become widows, orphans, mourners or sufferers in the lamentable civil strife in which we are unavoidably engaged, and fervently implore the interposition of the Almighty Hand to heal the wounds of the nation and to restore it as soon as may be consistent with the Divine purposes to the full enjoyment of peace, harmony, tranquillity and Union.

In testimony whereof, I have hereunto set my hand and caused the Seal of the United States to be affixed.

Done at the City of Washington, this Third day of October, in the year of our Lord one thousand eight hundred and sixty-three, and of the Independence of the United States the Eighty-eighth.

By the President: Abraham Lincoln

William H. Seward
Secretary of State

(Click to enlarge)

And so Thanksgiving became a national holiday. In 1939, President Franklin Delano Roosevelt moved it to the third Thursday in November, so as to extend the holiday shopping period and boost the economy. However, there was massive public protest, so in 1941 he changed it back to the fourth Thursday in November, where it's remained ever since.

Dear readers, I wish you all the happiest of Thanksgiving holidays: and may we truly give thanks to God, by whatever name we know him (or, if you don't believe in God, to whomever you count as the author or source of good things) for all our blessings. I'll be giving thanks particularly for all of you who've stopped by this year, and helped to make this blog so much fun for me. You're all a blessing, in your own way.

God bless you all: and thank you.

Peter


EDITED TO ADD: You'll note that I have links in the sidebar to a number of Web-based cartoons. One cartoonist, R. H. Junior, produces no less than seven strips, among them 'TallyHo'. I was highly amused by his Thanksgiving cartoon, so I've linked it here. Go visit his Web site and look at his other cartoons. You'll enjoy them.

(Click the cartoon for a larger view.)







Peter

Doofus Of The Day #111

Today's Doofus award is conferred collectively upon the team of police in Scotland responsible for this fiasco.

As Lulu Matheson was warming herself by the fire at her remote rural cottage, police and sniffer dogs burst through the door.

The officers were sure that the house was a cannabis factory – and refused to accept that her pot plants weren’t . . . well, pot plants.




Despite protestations by the 79-year-old widow that they were looking at her family’s prized tomato crop, the officers insisted on sending samples of the plants to be analysed.

Mrs Matheson, who has lived in the cottage for 53 years, said: ‘I got a terrible fright and I couldn’t understand what they were doing here because I knew we had nothing more than tomatoes in the window. I don’t know what the neighbours must be thinking.’

The high-profile police operation took place in the picturesque village of Shieldaig in the Highlands of Scotland a week ago.




Mrs Matheson’s 47-year-old son Gus, a former driver, was looking out of the window when he spotted police cars screeching to a halt .

He said: ‘I wondered what on earth was going on. I opened the door and they more or less barged past, saying that I was growing cannabis on the windowsills.

‘I started laughing because I knew they were tomato plants but it wasn’t so funny when they frisked me and then started tearing the house apart.’

Mr Matheson was kept under guard in the bedroom while officers searched the furniture and looked under the mattress. He said that the police impounded the family’s pet dogs.

‘They even “arrested” Zac, our black labrador, and Moby, our Jack Russell, putting them in the back of one of the cop cars,’ Mr Matheson added.




‘And I just couldn’t believe it when they brought sniffer dogs all the way from Alness, which is about two hours away.

‘My 26-year-old nephew Stephen – who hardly even smokes a cigarette, never mind cannabis – lives with his girlfriend in a caravan next door and they went over and searched there too, after handcuffing him. It was a terrible carry-on.’

He added: ‘Despite leaving with their tails between their legs, the police didn’t even apologise.’

As a keen gardener, Mr Matheson grows tomatoes in the south-facing bedroom window to catch the sun.

He said: ‘We always enjoy having a juicy home-grown tomato with our dinner and I’ve had fine crops this year.’ Mr Matheson is now making a formal complaint to Northern Constabulary, calling the raid a waste of taxpayers’ money.

Indeed. On the other hand, I'd be tempted to say that it was pointless, but fruitful . . .



Peter

A French soldier on US troops in Afghanistan

A tip o' the hat to Jean-Marc Liotier at Serendipitous Altruism (certainly one of the more intriguing blog titles I've come across!) for translating observations by a French soldier, serving with an Operational Mentoring Liaison Team, or OLMT, concerning the US soldiers with whom he's based.

We have shared our daily life with two US units for quite a while - they are the first and fourth companies of a prestigious infantry battalion whose name I will withhold for the sake of military secrecy. To the common man it is a unit just like any other. But we live with them and got to know them, and we henceforth know that we have the honor to live with one of the most renowned units of the US Army - one that the movies brought to the public as series showing “ordinary soldiers thrust into extraordinary events”. Who are they, those soldiers from abroad, how is their daily life, and what support do they bring to the men of our OMLT every day? Few of them belong to the Easy Company, the one the TV series focuses on. This one nowadays is named Echo Company, and it has become the support company.

They have a terribly strong American accent - from our point of view the language they speak is not even English. How many times did I have to write down what I wanted to say rather than waste precious minutes trying various pronunciations of a seemingly common word? Whatever state they are from, no two accents are alike and they even admit that in some crisis situations they have difficulties understanding each other.

Heavily built, fed at the earliest age with Gatorade, proteins and creatine - they are all heads and shoulders taller than us and their muscles remind us of Rambo. Our frames are amusingly skinny to them - we are wimps, even the strongest of us - and because of that they often mistake us for Afghans.

Here we discover America as it is often depicted : their values are taken to their paroxysm, often amplified by lack of privacy and the loneliness of this outpost in the middle of that Afghan valley. Honor, motherland - everything here reminds of that: the American flag floating in the wind above the outpost, just like the one on the post parcels. Even if recruits often originate from the hearth of American cities and gang territory, no one here has any goal other than to hold high and proud the star spangled Banner. Each man knows he can count on the support of a whole people who provides them through the mail all that an American could miss in such a remote front-line location: books, chewing gums, razorblades, Gatorade, toothpaste etc. in such way that every man is aware of how much the American people backs him in his difficult mission. And that is a first shock to our preconceptions: the American soldier is no individualist. The team, the group, the combat team are the focus of all his attention.

And they are impressive warriors! We have not come across bad ones, as strange at it may seem to you when you know how critical French people can be. Even if some of them are a bit on the heavy side, all of them provide us everyday with lessons in infantry know-how. Beyond the wearing of a combat kit that never seems to discomfort them (helmet strap, helmet, combat goggles, rifles etc.) the long hours of watch at the outpost never seem to annoy them in the slightest. On the one square meter wooden tower above the perimeter wall they stand the five consecutive hours in full battle rattle and night vision goggles on top, their sight unmoving in the directions of likely danger. No distractions, no pauses, they are like statues nights and days. At night, all movements are performed in the dark - only a handful of subdued red lights indicate the occasional presence of a soldier on the move. Same with the vehicles whose lights are covered - everything happens in pitch dark even filling the fuel tanks with the Japy pump.

And combat? If you have seen Rambo you have seen it all - always coming to the rescue when one of our teams gets in trouble, and always in the shortest delay. That is one of their tricks: they switch from T-shirt and sandals to combat ready in three minutes. Arriving in contact with the ennemy, the way they fight is simple and disconcerting: they just charge! They disembark and assault in stride, they bomb first and ask questions later - which cuts any pussyfooting short.

We seldom hear any harsh word, and from 5 AM onwards the camp chores are performed in beautiful order and always with excellent spirit. A passing American helicopter stops near a stranded vehicle just to check that everything is alright; an American combat team will rush to support ours before even knowing how dangerous the mission is - from what we have been given to witness, the American soldier is a beautiful and worthy heir to those who liberated France and Europe.

To those who bestow us with the honor of sharing their combat outposts and who everyday give proof of their military excellence, to those who pay the daily tribute of America’s army’s deployment on Afghan soil, to those we owed this article, ourselves hoping that we will always remain worthy of them and to always continue hearing them say that we are all the same band of brothers.

Outstanding! It's great to hear such glowing tribute paid to our service personnel. I hope and trust that you, dear readers, will forward this praise to all your friends, and make sure that our whole country gets the word. Such acclaim is seldom given to our Armed Forces by our own politicians and media.

Grateful thanks to Jean-Marc Liotier for translating the original French article, and posting it. I'll be checking his blog from time to time to see what further interesting tidbits he dishes up.

Peter

Will 'heavy water' slow the aging process?

I'm intrigued by a British news report claiming that 'heavy water' may be a solution - you should pardon the expression - to the problem of aging.

For centuries mankind has sought the secret of a long and healthy life.

And for centuries it seems we were looking in the wrong place. Forget exotic pills and potions, the key to prolonged life could be as simple as a glass of water. Scientists believe 'heavy water' enriched with a rare form of hydrogen could add as much as ten years to life.

And by also modifying foods, such as steak and eggs, with the hydrogen the way could be cleared to allowing us to eat and drink our way to a healthy old age.

The idea is the brainchild of Mikhail Shchepinov, a former Oxford University scientist.

It centres on fortifying the body's tissues and cells against attack and decay caused by free radicals, dangerous chemicals produced when food is turned into energy. Such 'attacks' on proteins are particularly damaging and have been linked to cancer, Alzheimer's and Parkinson's.

Dr Shchepinov's theory is based on deuterium, a naturally-occurring isotope, or form of hydrogen, that strengthens the bonds in between and around the body's cells, making them less vulnerable to attack.

He found that water enriched with deuterium, which is twice as heavy as normal hydrogen, extends the lifespan of worms by 10 per cent. And fruitflies fed the 'water of life' lived up to 30 per cent longer.

He now believes people could also benefit from the sweet-tasting water, or from deuterium-enriched 'heavy foods'.

Foods could be created by either directly supplementing them with deuterium or by enriching the feed of farm animals, this week's New Scientist reports. Dr Shchepinov said recently: 'We don't have to be consuming isotopes as white powder.

If you take a pig and feed these things to a pig, all you need to do is consume the pig in normal fashion.'

The technology was likely to be tested in pet food first, he added.

Dr Shchepinov runs biotech firm Retrotope whose scientific advisers include Aubrey de Grey, a controversial ageing guru.

Dr de Grey, a 'bio-gerontologist' who leads the Methuselah Foundation, a charity which aims for 'the defeat of age-related disease and the indefinite extension of the healthy human lifespan', said the research was 'extremely promising'.

He said deuterium existed in all living matter at a certain level and it was a case of introducing it in a 'more targeted manner'. There was no radiation involved, he added.

Dr Judith Campisi, of the Buck Institute for Age Research in California, said: 'I've heard some pretty crazy ideas about how we might live longer but I'm intrigued by this.'

But Tom Kirkwood, of Newcastle University, said: 'Shchepinov's idea is interesting but . . . the history in the field is cluttered with hypotheses which are only partially supported by the data.'

Interesting thought . . . but deuterium is also used in nuclear physics. According to Wikipedia, it's 'useful in nuclear fusion reactions', among many other things.

This led to an interesting conversation with a friend this afternoon. I told him of this article, and the benefits allegedly promised by deuterium, and mentioned its nuclear properties.

FRIEND: "So, when I pee, will it glow in the dark?"

ME: "Er . . . well, I don't know, but I don't think so."

FRIEND: "Then what's the point?"

ME: "Why would you want to pee in the dark anyway? Surely aiming would be more difficult? Why not turn on the light?"

FRIEND: "Well, if my pee glowed in the dark, I wouldn't have to, would I?"

ME: [Heaves a deep, long-suffering sigh] "So much for nuclear physics . . . "

Perhaps Stingray and/or Labrat could enlighten us?



Peter

UPDATED: Shooters, let's not go overboard on HS Precision

UPDATE: As of this time (6.47 p.m. Central) I'm not aware of any statement having been issued by HS Precision. I've been in both telephonic and e-mail communication with the company, and quite frankly I'm baffled by their silence. As I said in my last e-mail to a company representative:

... we really, REALLY need a statement from HS Precision's top management ASAP. If that doesn't come today, I don't know whether the damage will be repairable.

The silence of HS Precision's management forces me to conclude that one of three things must be true. Either:

1. They haven't a clue how to manage this situation.

OR

2. They're caught between a rock and a hard place. If they bow to public sentiment and repudiate Mr. Horiuchi, they risk offending their law enforcement customers, particularly Federal agencies; but if they don't repudiate him, they risk alienating retail customers, who are probably a significant proportion of their market. They haven't been able to find a 'middle way' that will satisfy both sides whilst minimizing the damage to their company.

OR

3. They regard the average firearm owner as outside their (expensive and fairly 'exclusive') target market, and therefore intend to treat our concerns with disdain.

I've no idea which of the above is true: but I can't see any other alternatives. Can you?

I believe that through their inaction and deafening silence today, HS Precision's management have done their company a grave disservice. I don't know if any belated reaction in coming days will be able to undo the damage it's already suffered. I'm very disappointed in them. Certainly, in the days when I was a senior manager and company director, if I'd behaved in such a dilatory and spineless fashion, I'd have been fired on the spot!

Anyway, that's the situation as of the time of writing. I guess we'll learn more in due course.

The original post continues below.

____________________

I'm aware of the huge uproar in the firearms community about HS Precision's use of an endorsement for their tactical rifles by the FBI - specifically, by Mr. Lon Horiuchi. A letter from him appears on the rear cover of their 2008 catalog, shown below (click to enlarge).




Mr. Horiuchi is infamous in shooting circles (perhaps 'notorious' would be a better word - apart from the many less polite terms for him in circulation) for his involvement in the Ruby Ridge and Waco incidents, particularly his shooting of Mrs. Vicki Weaver through a door, resulting in her death. She was not armed at the time. Mr. Horiuchi's actions were later found to be unconstitutional by a Justice Department review (as were the instructions given to the FBI task force by the senior officer on the scene). He was charged with manslaughter in an Idaho court in 1997. The case was transferred to federal court, which dismissed the charge, citing the supremacy clause as grounds. An appeal court reversed this decision, but the local prosecutor then withdrew State charges.

I'm as outraged by Mr. Horiuchi's conduct at Ruby Ridge as anyone, and I certainly believe that he is guilty of at least a moral offense of the very worst kind. However, no court has ruled on the matter in terms of criminal law. In terms of the US justice system, he, like any of us, has the right to the presumption of innocence unless and until proved guilty.

Nevertheless, Mr. Horiuchi is certainly not someone with whom I'd care to associate. I believe that whoever's responsible for using his endorsement in HS Precision's 2008 catalog is guilty of a gross error of judgment, one that is likely to damage the company very severely, given the strength of feeling in the shooting community about Mr. Horiuchi's actions. However, I'm troubled by the immediate outcry among many shooters, and their threats to boycott the company and refuse to purchase its products. Some have called for HS Precision to be 'Zumboed', referring to the pillorying of columnist Jim Zumbo in 2007 for comments that the shooting community found unacceptable.

Let's face facts. HS Precision, in order to compete for (and eventually win) the FBI competition to select a new tactical rifle, had no choice but to deal with the individual appointed by that agency as the manager of the process. That person happened to be Mr. Horiuchi. It could just as easily have been anyone else. HS Precision won that competition, and are justly proud of the fact. They wanted to advertise their success, and used an endorsement from the competition manager to that effect - probably without anyone in senior management realizing whose name was involved. It's likely to have been a decision by someone in marketing or public relations, rather than a senior executive. I can imagine them saying to senior management that they'd use a letter from "the FBI program manager", without even mentioning his name. I've been a senior manager myself, so I can well imagine how this might have 'slipped through the cracks'.

Furthermore, a bad marketing or public relations decision doesn't affect the quality of HS Precision's rifles. I've handled a few, and they're uniformly excellent products. I wish I could afford one! Their Short Tactical Rifle is illustrated below.




There are many people involved in their manufacture, who take great pride in their work. I don't think these craftsmen, shooters all, should be punished for the indiscretion of someone outside their area. The same goes for the company as a whole. Do we want to condemn to oblivion the producer of some of the finest rifles in the country, for an error of judgment?

I hope and trust that HS Precision's senior management are taking steps to investigate this matter. I called the company to inquire, and was assured that something would be announced shortly (after all, this whole thing only blew up yesterday). I think we should give them time to investigate and take whatever steps they deem appropriate.

I'd hate to see a good company brought down because of one mistake. Let's by all means look to HS Precision to rectify that mistake, and administer any internal disciplinary measures that may be necessary and appropriate: but, at the same time, let's be fair. They made a mistake. I'm sure they're going to do their best to resolve it. Let's give them time to do so, and let's acknowledge their honest efforts in that regard.

Peter

Illinois laws that boggle the mind

I'm obliged to CBS2 Chicago for these interesting snippets of legal levity.

Did you know that there are laws in Illinois to the effect that:

• In Chicago, you may be arrested for vagrancy if you don't have at least one dollar bill on you?
• It's illegal to give a lighted cigar to a cat, a dog or any other domesticated animal kept as a pet?
• Bachelors should be called 'Master', not 'Mister', when addressed by their counterparts?
• In Oblong, IL, it's illegal to make love while hunting or fishing on your wedding day?
• It's illegal to fish in pajamas in Chicago?
• In Evanston, IL, it's illegal to change clothes in an automobile with the curtains drawn - except in case of fire?
• In the same town, bowling is banned?
• In Chicago, it's illegal to give whiskey to a dog?
• And it's illegal in that city to eat in an establishment that's on fire?
• In the Pullman neighborhood of Chicago, it's illegal to consume beer from a bucket while sitting on the curb?
• In Cicero, it's illegal to hum while walking down the street on Sunday?
• The official language of the State is American, not English?
• In Eureka, a man with a mustache may not kiss a woman?
• In Normal, IL, it's illegal to make faces at dogs?
• In Galesburg, IL, you can be fined up to $1,000 for beating rats with a baseball bat?
• No monster may enter the corporate limits of Urbana, IL?

There are a few more at the link. I'd love to know how some of those laws came to be enacted!

How about it, readers? Do you know any weird or silly laws in your State - or nation, for those overseas? If so, post them in Comments, so we can all enjoy them.

Peter

More fishy flying things!

Two days ago I wrote about an airship that moves through the air like a fish.

A few readers sent me e-mails to alert me to the fact that this isn't the first 'airship' to mimic the actions of an underwater creature. It seems that a German group, Festo, has produced at least two similar devices. Their Web site highlights what they call a 'Bionic Learning Network', aimed at using nature's designs to produce machines for human use.

How can bionics be used to improve the efficiency and productivity of automated motion sequences? Festo searches for innovative answers to this question through a diverse range of projects within our Bionic Learning Network. The latest technology from Festo is used in experimental prototypes, such as integrated mechatronic concepts with options for remote maintenance and diagnostics, and the latest piezoelectric valves and electric drives. Festo's fluidic muscle, a long established component in manufacturing, is proving to be endlessly versatile in ever more amazing applications. The inspiration for the complex drive forms comes from natural phenomena in air and water, but above all from humanity itself.

The Bionic Learning Network is part of our commitment to basic and further technical training. In cooperation with students, prominent technical universities, institutes and development companies, Festo is promoting ideas and initiatives which go beyond the core business of automation and didactics, and which may well give rise to promising areas of application in the future.

Festo's first design is a manta-ray-like device. They've produced it in an underwater and an 'airship' design. Their Web site states:

Air-Ray, modelled on the manta ray, is a remote-controlled hybrid construction consisting of a helium-filled ballonet and a beating wing drive. Its lightweight design enables it to “swim” in the sea of air using the lift from the helium in a similar way to the manta ray in water.




Propulsion is achieved by a beating wing drive. The servo drive-controlled wing, which can move up and down, utilises the Fin Ray Effect® and is based on alternate pulling and pushing flanks connected via frames. When pressure is exerted on one edge, the geometrical structure automatically curves against the direction of the influencing force. A servo drive pulls the two flanks alternately in longitudinal direction, thus moving the wing up and down.

The two video clips below show their invention. The first is of their underwater robotic 'manta'. The second shows the 'Air-Ray' flying in an exhibition hall.








Their second design is, of all things, a mechanical jellyfish! They've also produced it in two versions, for water and air use. They describe the 'Aquajelly' as follows:

AquaJelly is an artificial autonomous jellyfish in water, a self-controlling system which emulates swarming behaviour. AquaJelly consists of a translucent hemisphere and eight tentacles for propulsion.




At the centre of the AquaJelly is a watertight laser-sintered body. It houses a central electric motor, the two lithium-ion polymer batteries, the recharging control unit and the servo motors for the swash plate.

The air version, 'AirJelly', is described thus:

AirJelly's environment is the air. Unlike AquaJelly, the remote-controlled jellyfish AirJelly does not swim through water, but instead glides instead through a sea of air thanks to its central electric drive unit and an intelligent, adaptive mechanism. It is able to do so because it consists of a helium-filled ballonet.




AirJelly's sole source of power is two lithium-ion polymer batteries connected to the central electric drive unit. It transmits the force to a bevel gear and from there to a succession of eight spur gears, which move the eight tentacles of the jellyfish via cranks. Each tentacle is designed as a structure with Fin Ray Effect® . Propulsion of a ballonett by means of peristaltic motion is hitherto unknown in the history of aviation. AirJelly is the first indoor flight object with peristaltic drive. This new drive concept, with propulsion based on the principle of recoil, moves the jellyfish gently through the air.

AquaJelly and AirJelly are shown in the video clip below.





Fascinating stuff! I'd love to know how these designs may figure in future production equipment for real-world use. Come to think of it - if they could deploy a military Unmanned Aerial Vehicle based on a jellyfish, could we arrange for Osama bin Laden to be stung to death by one?



Peter

A macabre sort of bequest, surely?

Polish pianist Andre Tchaikowsky had a novel idea for the disposal of at least part of his mortal remains.

As an acclaimed musician, Andre Tchaikowsky lived his life to the sound of applause.




Now in death, it continues.

The Polish pianist, who died in 1982, bequeathed his skull to the Royal Shakespeare Company.

And after more than 25 years of waiting in the wings, it is finally starring in the company's latest production of Hamlet.

It is used in act five, scene one, when a grave-digger unearths the skull of the jester Yorick. Hamlet, holding it close, declares: 'Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio: a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy.'

David Tennant, best known for his role in the BBC's Doctor Who, plays Hamlet in the RSC production. He is the first actor to use Mr Tchaikowsky's skull on stage.




In the years since the bequest, it has only been used in rehearsals as no actor has felt comfortable using it in performance. Replicas have been used instead.

Greg Doran, director of the current play, is said to have wanted 'to make the performance as real as possible' and retrieved the skull from its tissue-lined box at the RSC archive.

Mr Tchaikowsky was a Holocaust survivor who emigrated to Britain at the age of four.

He was devoted to Shakespeare, often visiting the Bard's home town of Stratford-Upon-Avon.

He died of cancer aged 46 in 1982 and in his will he stated it was his wish for his organs to be donated for medical science.

But he added the odd proviso: '...with the exception of my skull, which shall be offered by the institution receiving my body to the Royal Shakespeare Company for use in theatrical performance.'

Since then, his skull has largely been stored in a tissue-lined box kept within a box in a climate-controlled room at the RSC archives.

David Howells, curator of the archives, said: 'It has never been used on stage before.

'In 1989 the actor Mark Rylance rehearsed with it for quite a while but he couldn't get past the fact it wasn't Yorick's, it was Andre Tchaikowsky's.

'That, and the fear of an accident and it being slightly macabre, was why they decided not to use it and used an exact replica.

'You will probably have to go back to the early 19th century for the last time a real human skull was used in a production of Hamlet.'

The RSC had to apply for special permission to use the skull from the Human Tissue Authority as it is less than 100 years old.

Seems a little macabre to me . . . but I guess Mr. Tchaikowsky knew his own mind. It certainly adds a touch of grim realism to Shakespeare's words!

Peter

The future of books and reading

The future of book publishing, marketing and reading is in flux right now. Not only are hard times, economically speaking, impacting every aspect of the business, but the demographics of the reading population are changing rapidly.

L. E. Modesitt, Jr., a well-known fantasy and science-fiction author, highlighted some of these issues on his blog recently. Speaking of the publishing industry, he said:

In overall terms, the world of books is rapidly becoming a scary place. Borders Books is teetering on the edge, with an anticipated report of poor sales in the third quarter of the year. While Borders is not the largest of the chains, it still represents a significant chunk of the retail book market, and no author, me included, wants to see something like 400 super-stores vanish. Nor does any publisher. Fall sales of virtually all new titles from all publishers have declined, and one major publisher has reputedly ordered the editorial staff to stop acquiring new titles, at least for a while. Some agents are reporting more difficulty in pitching titles to publishers.

Is all this just because of the economic slowdown? In some respects, I'd like to think that it is. Unfortunately, it's not. The economic hard times are revealing a real weakness in the market for books, especially for fiction. As I've observed in earlier blogs, the modest increases in books sales have come more from greater sales to an ever-smaller percentage of the population, because the percentage of the population that reads is decreasing, and the greatest decrease is among the 16-25 age group. Likewise, historically the over-55 age group, particularly those who are college-educated, has had the highest reading percentage, and retirees, often steady readers, are economically harder-pressed and are likely buying fewer books.

But, there's far more to the decline in book sales than these factors.

. . .

... there are hundreds of malls without any bookstores, and whole sections of major cities without bookstores, and most of the corner drugstores are long-since gone, and I don't see many book displays in the generic drug chains that replaced them. Yes, many supermarkets, and even WalMarts, have book sections, but most Super WalMarts are lucky to have 20 F&SF titles, or for that matter more than 50 titles of any genre or mainstream fiction. In other supermarkets the selection is even more meager. Even the tiniest of Waldenbooks used to have several hundred titles in each genre [and I know, because I visited that store before it was closed].

By concentrating resources in book superstores, the book chains have largely eliminated what was effectively a feeder network that helped make books available to a larger segment of the population. It's unscientific, but I've traveled most of the United States in the past fifteen years and found that very few malls in minority sections of most cities have bookstores. The bookstores tend to be concentrated in or near affluent white, higher-income neighborhoods. This is a great way to maximize an existing customer base, but given the fact that a considerable number of children in lower income areas will grow up to be higher-wage earners, it's a very poor long-term strategy, and another example of our cultural mindset to maximize short-term profits, regardless of the long-term implications.

Add to that an educational system that tries to do too much with too little discipline, too few teachers and inadequate resources, and it shouldn't be any surprise that effective reading levels continue to decline, regardless of what the school "tests" say, since more accurate Department of Education tests on college graduates show that almost 60% lack the capacity to read and understand a complex newspaper editorial. On top of that, regardless of the intellectual brilliance of students, the current teaching systems and the video culture have created a mindset where long-term concentration is difficult, if not impossible, for all too many students -- and long-term concentration is definitely required for reading books.

. . .

... those who believe that recent declining sales are all a function of lower income and higher unemployment are seriously deluding themselves.

Sobering thoughts for aspiring writers such as myself. In another blog entry, dealing with the future of fiction, Modesitt comments:

Over the past decade the number of fiction titles and the number of copies sold are up, but not so much as population growth. Other studies suggest that there actually may be fewer readers, but that those readers are individually buying more books, as a result of the growth of chain bookstores and on-line stores. This possibility is bolstered by the distribution of sales figures as well. With the exception of authors of block-buster works such as Harry Potter, The Da Vinci Code, and the top romances, most authors are writing more books, but the numbers of copies of each title sold tend to be lower. In the F&SF field, more than a few authors who used to be mid-list authors published by major houses are now being published by smaller houses, even while they're getting quite favorable reviews and positive critical attention. Recent surveys also indicate that fiction reading has dropped off enormously among the 16-25 year old age-group.

What do these changes mean? For one thing, I personally believe that they largely reflect a change in personal entertainment preferences, and that change is driven, in large part, by the impact of technology on our lives and in the corresponding transformation of the nature of work. A greater and greater percentage of work has moved from physical labor to tasks requiring mental efforts or services with social interaction, if not both, and the hours worked have not decreased in the U.S.A., and in many fields, have actually increased significantly. I have heard more and more individuals say, time and time again, that when they get home from work, they're simply too exhausted to be able to concentrate on a book, and like it or not, reading does require a certain amount of concentration.

Bookstores are also carrying larger and larger sections of graphic novels, anime, and manga. This isn't totally surprising, given that younger Americans are a more video/visual entertainment generation, which also explains the growth of video/computer games. The concern that I have about this shift is that reading, fiction in particular, requires the reader to construct a mental image of the setting and the events, rather than merely to observe and participate, as is the case for visually-based entertainment.

. . .

... Some differences that I've observed and that concern me are: (1) the younger generation seems to have a greater difficulty in visualizing or imagining things described only in words; (2) they have more difficulty in transferring skills learned in one application to a different application; (3) their writing skills, in general, are far weaker than those of earlier generations; (4) while constructing and supporting statements/arguments logically and factually has always been difficult for students, that difficulty seems even greater now than in earlier generations.

More sobering thoughts. I've certainly noticed that the supermarkets are stocking mostly the sort of books that don't require much reading effort - Westerns, crime thrillers, 'bodice-ripper' romances and the like. I've watched people buying them, and I've seen the book choices of many people in the military, law enforcement and emergency services professions. Most of the latter seem to want light reading: something that isn't intellectually demanding, merely a 'quick read' to help while away the hours in between crises, or relax after a demanding and eventful work shift.

There's also, undoubtedly, the influence of video games. This has already had a major impact on the military's recruitment of young men and women. Witness the US Army's online game, 'America's Army', which it admits is a major recruiting tool.

"We want kids to come into the Army and feel like they've already been there," said Col. Casey Wardynski, who as director of the Army's office of economic and manpower analysis came up with the idea. "A game is like a team effort, and the Army is very much a team effort. By playing an online, multiplayer game, you can get the feel of being in the Army."

Books based on computer games, both stand-alone and online, are selling well, demonstrating a link between electronic and printed entertainment. Many films have been made on the same basis.

Books are also (very slowly) moving into the electronic realm. Book reading devices such as Amazon's Kindle, Sony's Reader and others are beginning to making inroads. One commentator has stated that Amazon sold about 240,000 Kindles between November 2007 and August 2008. An analyst estimates that it can sell 500,000 to 750,000 by the middle of next year. Personally, I find all the 'electronic readers' presently available to be less than satisfactory: but they're improving all the time, and it wouldn't surprise me to find a really useful model on the market within two to three years.

Another interesting (and very new) development is the advent of electronic books (e-books) linked to online services. The first of which I'm aware is a German novel, 'Senghor On The Rocks'. This is a so-called 'geo-referenced' book. If you go to the link and click on the cover, you can page through the book. The right-hand 'page' contains the text; the left-hand page is linked to Google Maps, and brings up a satellite view of the area mentioned in the text. The author comments:

"For me, the project always has been related to a map in a certain sense. Only that it wasn't hi tech, online satellite imagery but the rather worn out paper map I had carried with me throughout all my time in Africa," says Benda who wrote the book between 2002 and 2005.

Set in the Senegalese capital of Dakar, the story takes place on the day in 2001 when the nation's jubilation over its first qualification for football's World Cup is overshadowed by news of the death of Leopold Sedar Senghor, the republic's legendary first president.

The novel's main character is an Austrian camera assistant called Martin "Chi" Tschirner, who arrives in Dakar on a promotional job for the soft drink giant Coca Cola.

"It's a fast paced adventure that starts as a job, develops into an involuntary journey and culminates in a reflection about the possibilities and limits of cross-cultural understanding," explains Florian Ledermann, a software engineer at the Vienna University of Technology, who worked with Benda on the project.

Benda and Ledermann began collaborating to "geo-annotate" Benda's novel began about one-and-a-half years ago.

"We wanted to add something to the story that helps readers - especially as the story is set in an unfamiliar environment - to envision the mood of the story without illustrating it," says Ledermann.

"The satellite images provided by Google Maps do not constrain the reader's imagination but are capable of actually triggering imagination by giving a rough impression without too much detail."

Benda says that as a newbie author, the project to geo-annotate Senghor on the Rocks appealed to him because of the experimental nature of the format.

"I am pretty sure that we met a much wider audience - in terms of media coverage as well as readers or at least interested people - than we ever could have found with a 'classical' print publication," he says.

The launch this year by Amazon of the internet-connected Kindle electronic book reader, means that it may not be too long before geo-referenced publications hit the mainstream.

Interesting! Mr. Benda may be one of the first pioneers in a 'cross-over' form of publishing. If this idea takes hold, it may have profound implications for traditional publishers.

Another powerful influence on the book market is the so-called 'Print On Demand' or POD business model. This has led many wannabe authors who can't find a 'traditional' publisher to market their books themselves, sometimes through so-called 'vanity publishers', sometimes through online services such as Lulu or Amazon's Booksurge. Most, of course, won't sell more than a few copies: but some have gone on to considerable success. For example, my online friend Larry Correia, whose book 'Monster Hunter Nation' I recommended earlier this year, published it himself. It sold so well that he's been given a contract by Baen Books, one of the top publishers in this field, and his book will appear under their imprint next year. A sequel's already in the pipeline. Well done, Larry!

I know of a number of university lecturers (and even some high school teachers) who are using Lulu to make course documentation available to students. They simply compile all the articles, book extracts, etc. that they want to use, put them all into a single document on their computer, edit it for ease of use, page numbering, indexing, etc., and then publish it as a textbook on Lulu, requiring their students to buy their own copies. This means they can hand-pick their materials and update the book for every new course - but it also means that 'traditional' textbook publishers will derive less business from their students. There are also copyright implications, of course. Ethical lecturers will pay royalties to copyright-holders . . . but many won't bother.

As 'traditional' publishers cut back on accepting new books, thanks to poor economic conditions, I'm aware of many aspirant authors who are looking very hard at the POD route. Some (including myself) are considering combining this form of publishing with a 'free book' offer for e-books, which may be downloaded to a user's PC or electronic book reader. They may have a series of books planned, and offer the first one free of charge as an e-book 'carrot'. Readers who like it will then be able to buy subsequent books in the series, either as print or electronic publications. Some mainstream publishers, such as Baen Books with their Free Library, are doing the same for their established authors.

Print-on-demand will also extend 'publishing' to a whole new type of 'author' - ordinary individuals who just want one or two copies of a bound volume with special meaning for them. Michael Hyatt, the President and CEO of Thomas Nelson Publishers, did this himself the other day.

Two weeks ago, two of our dear friends celebrated their fortieth wedding anniversary. Their daughter asked me to photograph the event, knowing that I am an amateur photographer. I happily agreed.

I took about 250 photos altogether, using the quantity-over-quality method of photography. (I assume that if I shoot enough pictures, I’m bound to get something I can use.)

Last weekend, I sorted through these photos in iPhoto, assigning ratings and then editing the best ones. Next, I assembled the photos into an iPhoto book. The whole process took about four hours from start to finish. I then uploaded the files to Apple early Monday morning with two-clicks.

On Friday—a mere four days later—Apple delivered to me an elegant hardcover book, with a full-color dust jacket. It contained almost 100 color photos on 40 pages. It cost $49.79 plus tax and express postage for a total of $70.76.

That’s not cheap if you compare it to a typical, mass-produced hardcover book. But for a one-of-a-kind custom, coffee-table quality book, I think it’s a bargain. And my friends loved it.

This is the third book I have created like this. I am always amazed by the process. But it also makes me wonder, What will this mean for traditional publishers?

All in all, it's both a difficult and an exciting time to be a writer. What the future holds for books is very obscure at the moment - but they're unlikely to be published or marketed in the traditional way. Times are changing - fast!

Peter

Doofus Of The Day #109 and #110

Our two Doofi today are halfway around the world from one another, but they have something in common. They tried to rob an automated teller machine. As you might imagine, their efforts were crowned with something less than success.

Doofus #109 is a collective award to a group of four wannabe thieves in Sydney, Australia. They apparently hadn't learned that when blowing up an ATM, it's a good idea to park one's getaway car at a safe distance from the explosion.

Masked men have blown up three ATMs across Sydney early this morning, exploding machines in Clovelly, Chester Hill and Guildford, police said.

The thieves who attacked the Clovelly ATM also reportedly stole a car from a nearby street after their Audi getaway car was damaged by the gas-fuelled blast, leaving them stranded.

The Bendigo Bank on Clovelly Road at Clovelly in the city's east was the first ATM to be hit.

About 1.45 am four men exploded the street-front ATM at the intersection of Mount Street using gas cylinders, sending glass and debris flying as far as the other side of the road.

The ATM and front of the bank were destroyed.

In the explosion, the thieves' dark grey Audi getaway car parked out the front of the bank was also damaged, forcing them to abandon it, police said.

A nearby resident, who did not want to be named, said two girls who witnessed the attempted robbery said they saw two masked men run down Fern Street towards Marcel Avenue and the other two men run east down Clovelly Road.

He said he later heard police saying a car had been stolen by two men near Fern Street and they had got away.

A police spokeswoman could not confirm reports the car was stolen in a carjacking.

Police established a perimeter around the bank and told nearby neighbours to evacuate their homes until the gas cylinders in the boot of the car are deemed safe.




A witness living across the road from the Clovelly bank said he was woken up when he heard a "loud bang" and the sound of glass breaking and went to investigate.

"I was lying in bed and next minute, boom. Me and my missus were naked, so we had to put some clothes on and I said hurry up, hurry up," he said.

"Then I heard this, 'lets get out of here' and I heard them [the masked men] run away. When I finally got outside there was all this smoke and everything and I saw the gas in the back of the car and some gas lines," he said.

The resident said his wife saw the Audi used in the attempted robbery park out the front of the bank at 6pm last night.

"My wife was going to TAFE and she said she saw a guy park there and walk around it. I reckon that's right, you can hardly ever get a park there."

Yep. And I bet the thieves are wishing they hadn't done so!

Doofus #110 is from Leavenworth, Kansas. He didn't use explosives or gas, but ended up in rather worse shape than his Australian counterparts.

Chalk this up in the “dumb criminal” files:

About 2 a.m. Sunday, an alleged thief pried an ATM loose from a Leavenworth credit union by using a stolen skid loader. Then — in an alleged effort to bust open the boosted ATM — the 49-year-old Leavenworth man decided to use the skid loader to drop the machine down a 50-foot wooded embankment.

But the plan didn’t go quite as expected.

“It makes it easier when you let go of it. That way you don’t go with it,” said Leavenworth Police Chief Patrick Kitchens.

Instead, the suspect took a wild ride down the embankment from the skid loader cage. The man, skid loader and ATM tumbled downhill through the woods and landed near two semi-trailers.

When the ordeal ended, police found the suspect trapped inside the battered machine.




“Sometimes St. Michael, the patron saint of law enforcement officers, is looking out for us,” Kitchens said.

The chief and others were shocked that the suspect survived the crash.

“It is stunning that he is still alive. We are talking about a 50-feet embankment — basically straight down. He has the ATM, which basically weighs 3,000 pounds,” Kitchens said.

The ATM was stolen from the Frontier Credit Union in the 500 block of South Fourth Street in Leavenworth. The case could make its way into federal court because that the machine was stolen from a financial institution.

The suspect was transported to an area hospital for his injuries, which were not considered life-threatening.

Ah, well, never mind, dear nameless suspect. You'll have plenty of time to recover behind bars, while improving your plans for use in the (very) distant future. I suggest leaving skid loaders and embankments out of consideration!



Peter

Believe in God? No - but UFO's, you bet!

I'm startled to read about a recent survey.

Believing in ghosts and little green men from outer space appears a touch easier than having faith in God, according to a survey.

The researchers found that while 54 per cent of us are convinced the Almighty exists, 58 per cent believe in the supernatural.

The findings, maybe somewhat unsurprisingly, have been issued to mark the DVD release of The X-Files: I Want to Believe. The film stars David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson, who made the TV series such a success.

The research put out to coincide with the DVD release also claimed women were more likely to believe in the supernatural than men, and were more likely to visit a medium.

Nearly a quarter of the 3,000 surveyed claimed they had had a paranormal encounter.

Some 37 per cent said aliens and ghosts were the basis of their belief system.

Uh-huh.

I guess it's like the great G. K. Chesterton pointed out: "When people stop believing in God, they don't believe in nothing -- they believe in anything." For the life of me, I can't understand the manic obsession of the 'aliens-are-among-us' crowd. There's never been one single shred of evidence of alien life or visitation that can stand up to scientific or judicial scrutiny: yet they go on and on, as if there's no doubt whatsoever about their cherished 'truth'.

I have no problem accepting that UFO's exist. I see them almost every day, in the form of contrails high overhead. Since I can't see the object producing the contrail, it's an 'Unidentified Flying Object' by definition: but I'm willing to bet it's just another airliner, on its way somewhere. I don't for a moment believe that aliens from other planets are visiting us. As for the 'alien abduction' and 'alien seduction' idiocies that circulate so freely - oh, come on!

Here's a little experiment for those into the whole 'UFO's-are-alien-visitors' shtick. Electromagnetic radiation has been spreading out from the Earth for less than two hundred years - and detecting it would be the only way that others, outside this solar system, would know that there's intelligent life here. Let's be charitable and allow a sphere around the Earth with a two-hundred-light-year radius. Calculate the volume of that sphere. Now calculate the volume of the known universe. You'll find that the sphere around Earth is a tiny, absolutely minute fraction of one per cent of the volume of the universe - so infinitesimally small that it's like a single grain of sand compared to the whole planet we live on (and that's probably an over-generous comparison).

Now figure the odds of aliens finding that 'grain' while searching through the whole of the rest of our universe. They're not good.

If, even after that, you believe - in the absence of any hard evidence whatsoever - that aliens have, indeed, found us, and are so fascinated by us that they keep dropping in . . . well, friend, I have a bridge in Brooklyn, NYC, that I'd like to sell you. Cash only, please, and in small bills.

For those who object that belief in God is just as silly, I respectfully disagree. Religious faith isn't a matter of hard evidence, or objective proof of God's existence. It's a moral decision, made on the basis of intangible factors and/or lived experience. I agree that it's not scientific, but I don't think it compares to belief in aliens - who, being corporeal, should be susceptible to proof of their existence. However, as always, YMMV.

Peter