Doofus Of The Day #876

Today's award goes to two (very) dumb crooks in Idaho . . . one of them in particular, as highlighted in bold, underlined text in the extract below.

Leland Ayala-Doliente, 22, and Holland Sward, 23, were traveling from Las Vegas to Bozeman, Montana, with some 20 pounds of marijuana. Court documents show the men were using marijuana during their trip and when they entered Idaho, they felt they were being followed by undercover police officers.

Rexburg Police Cpt. Randy Lewis told EastIdahoNews.com that at the time they weren't being followed by anyone.

Once they reached Rexburg, the pair exited U.S. Highway 20, parked their car and called 911. They said they just wanted the police to stop following them.

. . .

When police officers arrived, they say both men had their hands behind their heads. Court documents show Sward said to an officer, "We got caught and we're surrendering."

. . .

Sward was given a five-year sentence to prison. District Judge Greg Moeller suspended the judgment and placed Sward on probation for five years and ordered him to serve 30 days in jail.

Ayala-Doliente was sentenced to one and a half to eight years in prison, November. Moeller increased the sentence after Ayala-Doliente tested positive for marijuana, cocaine and oxycodone on his sentencing day.

There's more at the link.  It's worth clicking over to the news report to read the transcript of the phone conversation between these doofi and the 911 operator.

Hints for those who might want to learn from this example:

1. As the Bible warns us, "The guilty flee where no man pursueth".  If the cops aren't after you, don't ingest substances that make you paranoid enough to believe they are!
2. If you want the cops to stop following you (whether they are or not), it's not a good idea to call the cops themselves and tell them that!  They might start wondering about you.
3. Don't appear for sentencing on a drug charge while under the influence of multiple illegal drugs!  The judge won't appreciate it . . . but your prison buddies will appreciate the amusement you've provided them when they hear about it.

Peter