For the discerning collector (with a really big display room!)

Do you need to round out your historical weapons collection? If so, there's an item on eBay that's right up your alley - a reproduction Roman ballista, or siege catapult.




It was built for the BBC/Discovery Channel program, 'Building The Impossible'. The company that built it notes on their Web site:

The project was not without its challenges. Although records exist of the ballista, there are no designs – only descriptions. In Roman texts, it was reputed to have thrown stone balls up to 400 yards – though it has since been found in Greek texts that the figure was more likely to be closer to 100 yards.

It’s tempting to think that, because the Romans did not have access to modern materials, the ballista could be improved upon. But the Roman’s choice of materials proved impossible to match – for instance, the throwing ropes were made of animal sinew. Modern ropes – even high-tech materials – proved to be far less effective – and of course the team rebuilding the ballista had to ‘make do’ with these newer ropes.

The replica ballista's modern timbers clearly weren't as strong as the Roman originals, as it cracked after two shots. The sales blurb on the eBay listing advises:

Condition

The ballista is unassembled in one of our timber yards, and requires a bit of restoration work. The timbers are now ‘seasoned’ – a slivery grey that oak goes when exposed to the sun – rather than being new, but this just adds to its authenticity. It will not fire again, but will make an excellent demonstration piece.

The good news

We will undertake the essential repairs needed so that the ballista will again be a formidable, full-size and accurate recreation of an early war machine – albeit one that would not fire. Our work will bring it back to display condition – but it could be brought back to a firing condition, with the right people involved and an additional investment.

Why would you want one?

• The ballista could be an excellent and unique tourist attraction for a wide range of public venues.
• It is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to own a unique recreation of a Roman war machine.
• If you have aspirations to overthrow a neighbour’s castle, the ballista isn’t ideal, as even though it is potentially capable of throwing a stone ball over 100 yards, it is now not in firing condition. (Please note that even if it were, you would need a team of several skilled operators in order to do this, and these are very hard to find today. You may also find that advances in weaponry since this was designed place you at a considerable disadvantage on the modern battlefield.)

Er . . . that last point's a good one! I reckon I could pick off the crew of that ballista with my deer rifle while they were still winding it up. Gunpowder and rifled weapons have their advantages!

The TV program showing the ballista's construction is available on YouTube in five episodes. Click on the links to see them: Part One, Part Two, Part Three and Part Four. The fifth part, showing the ballista being fired, is embedded below.





Looks like a lot of fun! Unfortunately, it's a bit too expensive for my wallet. Besides, getting a twelve-ton pre-medieval war machine into my back yard might be tricky . . . to say nothing of what the next hurricane might do to it!



Peter

It's Castells time again!

The annual Catalan festival season is in full swing in Spain, along with the traditional Castells troupes - groups of people who build human towers, competing with one another to see who can build the tallest, or the tower with the most people.




It's quite a spectacle. If you ever get the chance to see it in person, I recommend it as a lot of fun. The people enter into the spirit of the thing, and there's much good humor, wine and song to be shared. I've only been there once, but I'd love to go again.




This video clip demonstrates how it's done.





Great fun to see in person.

Peter

The financial crisis and the politicians

In all the fuss and bother over the 'credit squeeze' and the 'bailout package', the US news media have mostly failed to point out that the same politicians who got us into this mess are the ones currently trying to find a solution.

I'm not confident of their chances of success.

Most US news media have been slow to point out the truth. I found one of the best expositions in an Australian newspaper.

It is very easy for Democrats in the US to blame all the nation's problems on the President, George Bush, and such fellow Republicans as John McCain. This is the tactic of the Democratic presidential candidate, Barack Obama, and Democrats such as the House of Representatives speaker, Nancy Pelosi, and the Senate majority leader, Harry Reid. So far, it seems to be working on the political level. But after the election, a Democrat administration would need to focus on the facts - unpleasant as it may be.

The empirical evidence suggests that in so far as the financial crisis has been caused by what Americans term subprime lending - then the Democrats are as responsible for the mess as Republicans, if not more so. As Ralph R. Reiland pointed out late last month in the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review, "the roots of today's mortgage-based financial crisis can be traced back to the Community Reinvestment Act (CRA) which Jimmy Carter signed in 1977".

Put simply, three decades ago the Democrat administration responded to the demands of anti-poverty activists that banks should not discriminate against low-income earning minorities. Rather, they said banks should take affirmative action to meet the needs of low-income borrowers. And so the subprime loan phenomenon came to pass with the intention that banks should loan housing funds to clients who could not meet existing prudential regulations.

This policy was re-activated during Bill Clinton's presidency. Sure, it had the support of some Republicans in Congress. But the key backers of the plan were Democrats - all the way from the administration to Congress and on to community activists. These days the Democrat congressman Barney Frank, who now heads the House Financial Services Committee, can be seen and heard attempting to sheet all the blame for the US's economic woes on the likes of Bush and McCain. This is the same Frank who, as early as 1992, resisted attempts by Congress to rein in the activities of the (now failed) government-sponsored Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac enterprises which bought many subprime loans. Frank's dreadful record was documented in The Wall Street Journal on September 10. McCain, on the other hand, advocated increased regulation for Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac.

No doubt Frank was acting with the best of intentions. The same can probably be said for the many left-liberal activists who worked in community groups involved in the advocacy of so-called affordable housing.

One such body is the Association of Community Organisations for Reform Now - ACORN. As Mona Charen has pointed out, "ACORN recognised very early the opportunity presented" by the CRA to pressure banks to make affirmative action, or subprime, loans. As she documents, "one ACORN fellow traveller" was none other than Obama.

It is true that Wall Street greed played a part in the financial crisis. But it is also true that quite a few contemporary Gekko types vote Democrat, not Republican - and that Democrats, along with Republicans, should bear some responsibility for the crisis. It serves no useful purpose to posit simplistic explanations for complicated realities.

Of course, in the middle of an election campaign, don't expect either party (or their Presidential candidates) to speak the truth. Each is trying desperately to blame the other: the Democrats pointing to 'the failed policies of the Bush administration', the Republicans trying to retaliate by pointing to the economic policies of the Clinton administration. Both are right - and both are simultaneously covering up their own party's share of the responsibility for this mess.

It's noticeable, too, that partisan news media are ignoring articles they themselves published, years ago, which forecast the current crisis, and are trying to blame their political bêtes noire instead. For example, take this article from the New York Times, dated September 30, 1999:

Fannie Mae, the nation's biggest underwriter of home mortgages, has been under increasing pressure from the Clinton Administration to expand mortgage loans among low and moderate income people and felt pressure from stock holders to maintain its phenomenal growth in profits.

In addition, banks, thrift institutions and mortgage companies have been pressing Fannie Mae to help them make more loans to so-called subprime borrowers. These borrowers whose incomes, credit ratings and savings are not good enough to qualify for conventional loans, can only get loans from finance companies that charge much higher interest rates -- anywhere from three to four percentage points higher than conventional loans.

"Fannie Mae has expanded home ownership for millions of families in the 1990's by reducing down payment requirements," said Franklin D. Raines, Fannie Mae's chairman and chief executive officer. "Yet there remain too many borrowers whose credit is just a notch below what our underwriting has required who have been relegated to paying significantly higher mortgage rates in the so-called subprime market."

Demographic information on these borrowers is sketchy. But at least one study indicates that 18 percent of the loans in the subprime market went to black borrowers, compared to 5 per cent of loans in the conventional loan market.

In moving, even tentatively, into this new area of lending, Fannie Mae is taking on significantly more risk, which may not pose any difficulties during flush economic times. But the government-subsidized corporation may run into trouble in an economic downturn, prompting a government rescue similar to that of the savings and loan industry in the 1980's.

"From the perspective of many people, including me, this is another thrift industry growing up around us," said Peter Wallison a resident fellow at the American Enterprise Institute. "If they fail, the government will have to step up and bail them out the way it stepped up and bailed out the thrift industry."

I've highlighted the key paragraph in bold print. The NYT's 1999 prophecy has come true - but do you think they want you to know about their earlier article? No - because it highlights the fact that Fannie Mae's expansion into loans to those with questionable creditworthiness was at the behest of a Democratic administration. They don't want to bring that up in an election year, as it might hurt the Democrats' chances - and the NYT is in the Democratic Party's pocket, bought and paid for. It long ago ceased to be a reputable source for objective journalism and reporting.

I'm not trying to excuse the Republican party's own role in this mess. They're as guilty as the Democrats. As another Australian commentator points out:

It does not instil faith in the American political process that nothing said in either the recent presidential or vice-presidential debates suggested the Democrats or the Republicans have a plan to slash America's excessive debt or its ruinous military spending and adventurism. Instead, there is a bipartisan rhetorical obsession with cutting taxes and restoring American power and prestige. How about restoring American humility and frugality? Or is that an oxymoron?

I loathe George Soros' politics, which appear to be socialist to the point of quasi-Communism at times: but I have to admit that economically, some of his forecasts have been spot on. From the same article cited above:

Almost five years have passed since George Soros wrote 'The Bubble Of American Supremacy', a book that warned about the dangers presented by excessive debt and enormous market in securitised mortgages. Almost everything Soros predicted has come to pass. So why was nothing done for five years, until the world financial system was on the brink of a collapse?

. . .

Now Soros is back in the fray with another book, and another warning, and this one is closer to home. He thinks the global economy is caught in a commodities bubble, not just a housing bubble. Oh-oh. The commodities boom is supposed to be Australia's get-out-of-jail card.

The title of his new book is dull, 'The New Paradigm For Financial Markets', but the message is not. He says we should not trust financial markets to be self-correcting, or innately stable, or innately wise. "Prices in financial markets do not necessarily tend towards equilibrium. They do not just passively reflect the fundamental conditions of demand and supply." He is rejecting the supposed truism that the market is always right.

We are, Soros warns, not just in a rapidly deflating asset bubble caused by cheap money, lax standards and excessive debt: "We are currently experiencing the bursting of a credit bubble that has involved the entire financial system and, at the same time, a rise and eventual fall in the prices of oil and other commodities that have some characteristics of a bubble, and the two phenomena are connected in what I call a super-bubble. The fundamental trend in the super-bubble has been the ever-increasing use of leverage - borrowing money to finance consumption and investment - and the misconception about that trend was what I call market fundamentalism, the belief that markets assure the best allocation of resources."

The solutions are not simply going to come from more government regulation and intervention. It is deeper than that. After all, despite the current obsession with greed on Wall Street, the exposure of American market deregulation, and the failures of the hapless Bush Administration, it must be noted that in Western Europe - civilised, steady, regulated Europe - there has also been reckless excess. And Europe is in a weaker position to respond to the financial crisis than the Americans.

. . .

What does Soros want us all to do about the mess? Surprise, surprise, he wants a lot of things, but notably a crack-down on financial derivatives speculation, an orderly deflating of the asset bubble and the rapid development of fuel alternatives to oil, which must keep rising in price. It is what many ordinary non-billionaires . . . have been urging for years.

His politics aside, I think Soros has it right. Question is, are our politicians listening? I wish I could be confident that they are . . .

Perhaps the answer is to vote against any and every incumbent in this election. If your Congressperson or Senator has been in office for more than two terms, vote him or her out, and let his or her opponent have a go, irrespective of their party. It's worth the gamble - after all, how can they possibly do worse than our present legislators?

Peter

Doofus Of The Day #78

Our Doofus today is someone in Saudi Arabia.

It seems that the Royal Saudi Air Force wanted to display one of its old Tornado F3 aircraft on a plinth outside the airbase at Tabuk. They duly stripped out the engines and removable bits and pieces, leaving the aircraft weighing anywhere from 12-15 tons (estimates differ). (Click the pictures for a larger view.)




They then brought in a crane to lift it onto the plinth. Our Doofus award goes to whoever decided to use this particular crane!




I wonder if they'll paint a crane victory symbol beneath the cockpit of the Tornado?







Peter

Feeling hungry? I mean, REALLY hungry?

If so, the Green Door Bar & Grill in London, England has just the meal for you.

A restaurant is offering a taste of the life of a polar adventurer with a new menu inspired by the exploits of Sir Ernest Shackleton that packs in a mammoth 6,000 calories.

The £75 [about US $133] four course blow-out includes pork scratchings, a 20oz steak and 'hoosh', a thick stew eaten by the pioneering explorer, all washed down with wine, beer and an ice cream shake.




The meal, which is being offered at the Green Door Bar and Grill in London, contains three days worth of an adult woman's recommended calorie intake.

But it represents the amount that a seven-strong British team hoping to complete Shackleton's failed journey to the South Pole a century ago must eat each day to maintain their strength.

Henry Worsley, leader of the modern-day adventurers, said: 'Obviously this isn't a meal for the faint-hearted, but I'm sure there are a few people in the City who'll be up for the challenge.

'There will, of course, be honour and recognition in the case of success.'




There is a modern twist on the hoosh - while Shackleton and his men made it with penguin, the version served to 21st century diners in London will use goose.

For every meal sold, the restaurant will donate £10 to the Shackleton Foundation, a new charity to fund projects embodying the adventurer's spirit and hunger for 'calculated risk'.

Alexa Reid, managing director of Green Door, said: 'I've always been a huge fan of Shackleton, and when I heard about the expedition, I thought that this would be a great way to get involved.'

Personally, I think I'd start to fade after the first 2,000 calories or so!



Peter

Older technology becomes an identity-theft nightmare

It seems that identity thieves are reaping a rich harvest from older electronic equipment dumped by consumers. A report from Australia says:

Mobile phones are changed nearly as often as underwear these days, so it's not unusual that older handsets are passed on to friends or sent for recycling. But what about all the personal information they contain? Did you erase the memory before passing on your last mobile?

Last week, secret MI6 documents were discovered on a memory card that was in a camera sold on eBay for $38. While you wouldn't imagine the likes of James Bond making such a gaffe, it highlights how easily sensitive information is leaked in the digital age. Think of all the personal stuff your mobile contains: photos, text conversations, contacts and documents, not to mention business-related data. All of it can be out there for the taking if you hadn't bothered to delete it before moving on to your new phone.

Now that we're in the era of the smart phone with increasing capabilities, we'll be putting more of ourselves into our portable companions. As our lead story shows, in London alone about 69,000 mobiles and PDAs are left in taxis every six months, so the problem will only grow unless phone makers and providers make it easy to securely wipe a phone before it is handed on.

There are lots of computers, hard disks and other items offered for sale every day, through classified advertisements, on eBay, and through other avenues. I'm willing to bet that most of them haven't been stripped of all their old files, and identity thieves will be able to learn a lot from them. For example, many people don't realize that the Windows operating system retains a list of passwords to your favorite Web sites (unless you tell it not to, and make sure to delete your browsing history). If you log into your bank's Web site to check your accounts, it's fairly likely that your login details have been preserved in your Windows files. Someone who knows how to access them can get at that information without difficulty.

Simply deleting the files isn't any protection. The file system on Windows computers (and many others) doesn't physically wipe the data when you delete a file: it simply marks that space as available for new data to be stored, leaving intact what's actually written to the disk. Only when a new file overwrites that space (or an erase program specifically overwrites it with nonsense characters) will the data become unreadable.

Personally, with the rise in chip-based memory that retains its data even when the battery goes dead, I no longer trust any device with memory to be fully 'wipe-able'. I therefore physically destroy such devices, rather than recycle them. For a computer, I'll take out the hard disk, open it up, and destroy the magnetic platters inside. For a mobile phone, I'll take out the circuit board and physically strip the chips off the board, breaking off their 'legs' so that they can't be re-mounted. It may be a bit excessive, but at least I know no-one will be reading any of my data from those devices!

Of course, you can have this done professionally:





Or with mechanical assistance:





There's always the fun option, too . . .







Peter

Another week of renovations is over . . .

. . . and there are at least two more to go, to rectify the fire and hurricane damage to my home.

The contractors are doing an excellent job on the interior. I deliberately chose a small local outfit, who came highly recommended by firms like ServiceMaster. They charge more than some others, and emphasized from the beginning that if they found hidden problems (which they did) the cost would rise: but they've been absolutely honest and up-front with me at all times, never 'surprising' me with a hike to their bill, but always pointing out what they've found that's taking extra time or requiring extra materials. Good people (it's a family business). I'll have to file a supplementary insurance claim for the extra costs, but my insurers have already informed me that I may do so if necessary. I'm not expecting problems.

My living-room and study (or, rather, the small bedroom I use as a study) are fully painted, and the new ceiling tiles are up. All that remains is to touch up a bit of trim here and there, put up the boards edging the ceiling tile, and clean the floors as thoroughly as possible: then I have the fun job of moving furniture and boxes out of my bedroom and the spare bedroom into those rooms, so that the former two can be refurbished. I'll be sleeping somewhere (probably the study) while they do that. I wish I could move out for the duration, but there are still no hotel rooms available - hurricane evacuees with no homes to return to are still occupying them. I guess they need them more than I do!

The new vinyl floors in kitchen and bathroom are due to be laid on Thursday, by which time (hopefully) the painting in those rooms will be complete: and the crew returns the following Monday to lay carpet in the other rooms (also, hopefully, fully painted by then). The contractors will turn their attention to outside repairs during that week, taking care of the damage left by Hurricane Gustav. During the coming week, I have a professional garden services outfit coming for a day to take care of that side of things, clearing up all the fallen leaves and small branches, trimming my bushes and generally neatening things up.

With a little luck, two weeks from now, everything will be finished, and my home will be fully refurbished. I've basically stayed with the color scheme I worked out previously, except that I've decided to use Daybreak for all the walls, not a deeper color for the bedrooms, and Armagnac for all the woodwork. It'll look something like this (from the Sherwin-Williams Color Visualizer - ignore the furniture colors):




It's given the place a whole new look, bright, cheerful and welcoming, in a 'cottage-y' sort of way. I don't know whether others will like it, but I do! I'll post a few pictures when it's all done and the carpet's down. Then comes the fun job of getting all my possessions moved back from storage, unpacking them, and sorting them all . . .

Peter

Doofus Of The Day #77

I've no idea where these pictures were taken. They were e-mailed to me by a friend. From the dilapidated condition of the apartment blocks, and their concrete construction, I assume they're somewhere in the former Soviet bloc, perhaps Russia or one of the Warsaw Pact countries.

Anyway, they show a method of installing an air conditioner that I don't think would pass muster with the Health & Safety people! Click the pictures for a larger view.














I wonder if alcohol or drugs played a role? I'd hate to think anyone could do something so dumb while in his right mind!

Peter

An unwelcome swimming partner

Fergal Smith, from Ireland, went to Australia on vacation, and went surfing a couple of miles off the coast of Perth.

What he didn't expect was that he'd have unwelcome company while riding the waves!




That's a Great White shark, swimming in formation with him. Click the picture for a larger view.

Australia's Surfing Life magazine has awarded the Irishman 'Euro surf-dude of the month'.

'Just imagine being in the barrel and looking at a massive shark like you’re at the bloody aquarium or something,' the magazine's website said.

'Hats off to you Fergal Smith.'

Uh . . . I don't know about the hat, but perhaps a change of swimming-trunks and wet-suit might be more useful? I note that he's looking right at the shark in the photograph above. I'd love to have a close-up view of the expression on his face!



Peter

Don't order shrimp unless you know where it comes from . . .

. . . because foreign shrimp might just be hazardous to your health! An article in the Daily Mail reports on the prawns imported from the Far East to Britain, but it applies also to shrimp imported from there to the USA (shrimp and prawn are very similar, and produced by the same suppliers).

Prawn farming is an ancient activity in tropical countries. Coastal peoples in Indonesia and Vietnam have trapped young marine prawns in brackish ponds for at least 500 years, feeding them up with fish scraps and household waste to eat or sell. The prawns, properly farmed, are sweet and juicy: it's a lucrative business.




But the trade has changed drastically since black tiger prawns became a popular luxury in wealthy parts of the world during the Nineties. The cottage industry was swiftly industrialised. From Ecuador to Indonesia, coastal farmers punched holes in sea defences to let salt water into their paddy fields.

As with salmon, coffee and a host of other once rare and expensive foods, the demand from rich countries brought more and more producers into the market.

Tiger or 'king' prawns and their siblings have become a staple of Britain's supermarkets. The result? Ever-falling prices, but increasing use of chemicals and dropping quality.

The chemicals used in these production systems - which pack 20 prawns into one square metre of foul, endlessly recycled water - have been shown again and again to harm the workers involved, the environment and very possibly the consumers.

. . .

The Huongs - again, like all their neighbours - opened the dykes and turned to prawn farming because of the fantastic profits available.

A field that would have provided enough rice for the family to eat, plus a little extra to sell for essentials, has become a life-changing asset. If this crop is successful, the Huongs will sell the prawns for £8,000 - if prices hold up - after only four months.

This is an enormous amount in a country where many rural people still survive on less than £1 a day. As a result, rice farmers have now become chemists, experts in the complex biology of intensively farmed prawns.

Across the dykes, we see men and women in conical hats dipping testtubes in the water, checking acidity levels and examining prawns in test nets for the dreaded signals of disease: reddening shells, mis-shapen bodies, white spots on their legs.

The prawns, packed into the ponds, are terribly prone to illness. Mr Huong's last batch of prawn larvae all died after a month - he doesn't know why. Indeed, white-spot virus almost killed off the entire industry in Vietnam two years ago.

Having gambled everything on prawns, people will do anything to protect their investment. That includes using any chemicals that may seem to help.

'Often we get consignments of antibiotics for human use that are past the date they can be used by,' a villager told me.

On the main road out of town, near Mr Huong's farm, there is a government sign. Under a vivid picture of jars, bottles and dead prawns, it lists all the chemicals that prawn farmers must not use - 51 of them.

They include many human antibiotics, penicillins, and some names I recognise from the bad days of the European fish-farming industry - nitrofuran, chloramphenicol and organophosphate pesticides.

This poster shows the efforts the Vietnamese government has been taking to educate farmers. But when everything hinges on a successful crop, it is inevitable that some are willing to take risks.

Back in Britain, I ran the long list of chemicals we had found in use at Mr Huong's prawn farm past Peter Bridson, who is in charge of aquaculture at the Soil Association. Nothing we had found surprised him.

'You see this repeatedly in industrial aquaculture. There's a get-rich-quick attitude. Everyone follows the boom, but one false step and it crashes. And disease is usually the problem.'

Most of the chemicals we photographed in Mr Huong's shed are pesticides, feed enhancers and growth stimulants.

'These types of products are commonly used in Asia,' says Bridson. 'The farmers experiment. Someone chucks something in his tanks and gets good results. He tells his mates and the product becomes mainstream in the area - whether it actually does anything or not.'

Mr Huong's Super Star contains a chemical commonly used as a ' nutritional enhancer'. It is marketed by the company Bayer in Europe as 'Butaphosphan'.

On Bayer's website all I can find is a recommendation that it be used for injecting into sheep, dogs and cats suffering from 'stress, over-exertion or exhaustion' and as a tonic in cases of weakness or anaemia in animals. (Note that Bayer does not supply the chemical in Vietnam nor market it as a 'nutritional enhancer'.)

Some chemicals may do more harm than good - and not just to the image of the tropical prawn. Super Star also contains methyl hydroxybenzoate, an anti-fungal preservative which is banned in France and Australia. It has been linked to cancer in some beauty treatments.

The most dubious thing we found in the Huong's arsenal of chemicals was in a pot named 'N300' - a 'medicine for digestion and liver function', made by a Vietnamese company called Cong Ty TNHH.

It contained beta glucan, a harmless component of many human nutrition supplements, but also norfloxacin, an antibiotic usually used to treat gonorrhea and urinary tract infections in humans. It is 'under watch' by the U.S. Federal Drug Administration because of increased reports of nasty side effects, including damage to tendons.

Norfloxacin and its siblings, the fluoroquinolones, are banned for use in animals for human consumption in the U.S., and subject to EU controls on imports. Misuse of the fluoroquinolones is increasingly blamed for the rise in resistance to anti-bacterial medicines, and five floxacins are listed on the poster of banned chemicals we saw at the entrance to the village.

Since 2005, Vietnam's fishery ministry has banned the use of fluoroquinolones in fish destined for the North American market, but not, apparently, for European countries. From the pile of empty N300 jars we saw, there is a lot of fluoroquinolone in the feed for Mr Huong's prawns.

. . .

So how worried should we prawn lovers be? Well, Food & Water Watch, an American lobby group that has studied prawn farming for ten years, issued a warning in its latest report.

It said: 'The negative effects of eating industrially-produced tiger prawns may include neurological damage from ingesting chemicals such as endosulfans, an allergic response to penicillin residues, or infection by an antibiotic-resistant pathogen such as E-coli.'

That is a judicious 'may'.

What is certain is that banned or controlled chemicals are coming into Europe with farmed prawns, despite the promises of governments and retailers to stop this happening.

Last year, the EU rejected shipments of farmed prawn from six major exporters in India because they contained chloramphenicol and nitrofurans - two once-common antibiotics which are now known to be carcinogenic. One causes leukaemia.

The EU claims this shows its regulations work, but the fact remains that the EU is thought to test only 1 per cent of such shipments. The real scale of the problem could be far wider. In Louisiana, a prawn-producing region which conducts its own tests on imports, chloramphenicol was found in 9 per cent of all foreign prawn shipments in 2007.

. . .

But boycotting farmed prawns won't hurt the real villains in all this. As in any tale of shipping foods of the poor world to the rich in bulk, it is big corporations, processors and retailers which make the bulk of profits, and they should therefore take responsibility. Unlike small-scale producers like Mr Huong, they would survive a collapse of the prawn market.

No, to make a difference across the tropics, we customers must demand better prawns, raised in a way that's good for them and the people who farm them. And that means we have to be prepared to pay more for them.




On my desk I have two 212g boxes from my local Tesco of uncooked peeled king prawns from Vietnam, which I found on sale at two for £5. That means the 60 or so prawns cost me just over 8p each.

Once the costs of shelling, freezing, packing and shipping have been factored in - not to mention the supermarket's own profit margin - the producer would have been obliged to sell his prawns for a few pennies each. That is simply not enough to ensure decent standards of welfare and production.

Bad prawn farming is caused by the same things as bad chicken farming - the relentless pressure on prices forced on producers by supermarkets.

The result is a prawn cocktail that only a chemist could love.

Food for thought indeed! I note that as long ago as 2002 the Food & Drug Administration announced increased testing of imported shrimp for some antibiotics. Looks like the problem's only gotten worse since then.

For myself, after reading this, I plan on buying only US-produced shrimp, and insisting that the supplier verify its origin and guarantee the information to be accurate. I'll feel safer that way.

Peter

An alarming alarm clock!

A tip o' the hat to Rich W. for e-mailing details of this invention.

The Japanese online emporium Strapya-World is about to introduce an "alarm clock" with a difference - one that might prove rather hazardous in redneck country!

Their Bandai Gun O'Clock Alarm Clock comes with a flip-up target and a dummy pistol, presumably firing a laser beam.




When the alarm sounds, a sleeper is apparently supposed to grab the "pistol" and shoot the pop-up target. This will either let him wake up feeling triumphant, or put the alarm clock to sleep for five minutes, whereupon the process repeats itself. There's a rather hokey animation at the link if you want to watch it.

So far, so good . . . but I can't help wondering how this device will work in a market where many people keep guns by their bedside, the better to greet nighttime marauders. I can just see someone missing (or ignoring) the "play gun", grabbing his trusty .45 instead, and ventilating the alarm clock - not to mention the bedroom wall and anyone else in the next room, or even the next house!

I suspect this may not be a good product to market in the USA . . .



Peter

An anniversary worth remembering

Tomorrow, Saturday, October 4th, 2008, is the 51st anniversary of the launch of Sputnik 1.




This first orbital satellite only remained operational for three weeks, but began the Space Race in earnest, and has been followed by thousands of more and more sophisticated descendants.

One of those descendants is also making headlines at present.

ISEE-3 was originally launched on August 12, 1978, as the International Sun-Earth Explorer to a halo orbit about one of the Earth-Moon libration points to study Earth's magnetosphere and its interaction with the solar wind. Then, in 1983, it employed several lunar gravity assist flybys to send it on a new journey, for which it was rechristened the International Cometary Explorer, through the tail of comet Giacobini-Zinner. ICE approached within 7,800 kilometers of the comet on September 11, 1985. In 1986, it turned its instruments toward Halley's comet, participating in the international observation campaign, and becoming the first spacecraft to investigate two comets.




ICE is now in a solar orbit. I had assumed that it, like lots of other spacecraft from the Old Days of planetary exploration (which is any time before I graduated from college), was derelict, nonfunctional, and dead. It turns out I was wrong. Farquhar wrote in his message:

"At 2049 UTC on September 18, 2008, DSS-14 locked onto the carrier signal of the ISEE-3/ICE spacecraft. The remainder of the 3-hour track was then used to gather Doppler data for future use."

Okay, you may say, it's pretty cool we made contact with such an old spacecraft. What's the point, though? I got in touch with Farquhar on the phone to ask him that question -- though I did put it a bit more politely, and I'm glad I did, because it turns out it'd be much more worthwhile for me to be mentioning ICE's status in my weekly roundups than it is for me to mention the hibernating Genesis.

First I asked him when the last time was that Earth had spoken with ICE. He said that, as far as he could tell, the last time was nine years ago, in 1999. I remarked that it's pretty amazing that they were able to pinpoint it in the sky after nine years, and he said that since the spacecraft is spin-stabilized, it's very, very stable. (The Pioneers are stable and were relatively easy to track for the same reason.) The spacecraft was so close to its predicted position that the Deep Space Network was able to lock on to its signal very quickly, without having to execute much of a search pattern around the possible point in the sky.

Farquhar said that in a meeting held at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory about six months ago, they were discussing ICE, and it was revealed that the fellow who was supposed to have instructed ICE to turn off its radio transmitters during the last communications session maybe had not done so. He was right; ICE was ready and waiting to communicate with Earth.

ICE is actually on a return trip to Earth now; it's in an orbit similar to, but slightly faster than, Earth's, so measured relative to us, it's taking a long, slow trip around the Sun. It will return to our neighborhood on August 10, 2014, targeted to return to the Moon, which is what originally launched it on this journey. A lunar flyby can recapture it back into Earth orbit, after which, Farquhar said, they are thinking of parking it in its original halo orbit again, from which they could launch it back out to explore more cometary targets.

Is it worth it? Yes. ICE is a highly capable spacecraft, it's just not been one I've paid attention to because it has no camera. Although it lacks a camera, it did launch with 13 science instruments for measuring fields and particles, only one of which is known to have failed.

More details at the link.

Now that's exciting! A thirty-year-old satellite, still almost fully functional after three decades in the most inhospitable, life-bereft environment imaginable? And under consideration for yet more experiments? The best of luck to the engineers and scientists involved!

Peter

If you've got more money than sense . . .

. . . you might drive a car like this one.




It's a Porsche in Russia - plated with over 40 pounds of solid gold!




I'd hate to think of the repair costs if the driver has a fender-bender!




More pictures at the link.

Peter

Another update on The High Road

Readers are doubtless familiar with my first and second posts on the situation at The High Road (THR) forum. Briefly, the tech support administrator, Mr. Derek Zeanah, has misappropriated the domain name; locked all others except himself and his cronies out of high-level access to the board; and is insisting he shares ownership of the forum. The evidence contradicting his claims is overwhelming, as shown in my earlier posts.

He now appears to have compounded his earlier shenanigans, and added insult to injury. According to Oleg Volk, the (rightful) owner of THR, and also of another forum, Armed Polite Society (APS):

At the start of this week, I asked Derek to make the database of armedpolitesociety.com available to my designates for backing it up to other servers. He dragged his feet but promised to make it available on Thursday. That didn't happen.

When I called him, he said that he was busy. It's the same claim he made to THR staff. Asked when he would make APS database available, he said: "I talked to a couple of moderators on THR and I think it should be part of the whole settlement with THR. I won't release it."

Feel free to publicize this event.

I own armedpolitesociety.com domain name, so I can move the forum. I would prefer to move it with the current content intact. My lawyer will be in contact with his.

If this is the case, then Mr. Zeanah's arrogance can only be described as breathtaking. Not content with stealing one forum, he's now trying to hold a second forum hostage, in the hope it can help him escape the consequences of his criminal actions! As one member of APS commented:

This last step of Derek's was the proverbial last straw. I have refrained from posting as I could not couch my reply in civil terms.

There is no other way to describe Derek's actions other than betrayal, and pure theft. Driven by greed and a massive inferiority complex. I hope you drag him into court and he gets thrown in the pit.

Given enough rope, he will hang himself. I see he has cornered the market on that twisted fiber substance.

Succinctly put!

I've also been trying to find out more about the financial situation at THR. I'm informed that Mr. Zeanah claims that he's borne the costs of THR for a prolonged period, and cites this as grounds for his claim for part- or co-ownership of the forum. However, as stated in earlier posts, I was under the impression that any time money was needed, it had been provided by staff and/or a public fund-raiser. No accounts were ever presented by Mr. Zeanah to support his claims: and no belated or ex post facto accounting now submitted can be accepted as true and accurate. He's had almost six years to submit such accounts, and has never done so. After his recent actions, any retrospective accounting will be immediately suspect, as potentially "cooking the books". I certainly won't accept it as valid or authentic grounds for any claim, and I doubt very much whether others will (particularly the courts).

I was of the opinion that if Mr. Zeanah abandoned his (dishonest and untrue) claim to part- or co-ownership of THR, and returned its domain name and all assets to Oleg, it might be worth allowing him to walk away from the mess he's created. No longer. In the light of these developments, I now believe that only a felony conviction and appropriate jail sentence will adequately address his having compounded his initial crime by his most recent (and equally dishonest) actions.

I've had some useful feedback from my former colleagues in the US Department of Justice. I'll be seeing the local US Attorney next week (I've already made an appointment), and I'll lay all the details before him, with a request that he forward them to whichever US Attorney has the best claim to jurisdiction in this matter (there are three candidates). I'm also aware that at least four District Attorneys have now been contacted, in various jurisdictions, and that matters are in hand to press charges under State laws as well. I'm hopeful that Mr. Zeanah will face multiple criminal charges, in multiple jurisdictions, and be convicted in all of them. (This is, of course, over and above the civil case that Oleg's preparing, which I fully expect him to win, and which should result in substantial damages being assessed against Mr. Zeanah.)

I hope and trust that all law-abiding users of the Internet will note Mr. Zeanah's name, and that of his company, Well Built Networks (as well as any other companies he may currently operate or set up in future). If they know anyone currently using the services of either, or considering using them, I hope they'll advise such current or prospective customers about the present state of affairs concerning THR and APS. It's the responsible (and neighborly) thing to do.

Strange how some people, whom one once thought to be trustworthy and honest, can turn out to be beneath contempt: and even stranger that they can't see the damage they have done, and continue to do, to themselves, their reputation and their future prospects. As the proverb reminds us, "There are none so blind as those who will not see."

Peter

Doofus Of The Day #74, #75 and #76

We have three sexual Doofi for our delectation.

Doofi #74 and #75 are Lin Gu and Lee Shin of Taiwan.

Two lovers ended up in hospital in Taiwan after their car plunged 150ft down a cliff face as they made love in the back seat.

Lin Gu, 25, and lover Lee Shin, 29, were left with broken bones and bruises after their car toppled over the edge of a hill in XinDian, reports Today News.

A spokesman for police who were called by witnesses said: "They had parked up close to the edge of the mountain and had left the handbrake off.

"When they started having sex the rocking motion started the car moving and it rolled off the hill. They were lucky they were not more seriously hurt."

The two lovers had driven to a deserted mountain road and parked but their movements made the car topple over the edge and roll down to the bottom of the valley.

Despite their injuries - and being covered with mud and grass - the couple managed to clamber back up to the road where the woman asked the man to keep walking while she sought help at a nearby house.

Homeowner Chen Chenggang said the woman pleaded with him not to reveal how the accident happened as her husband "would definitely sue for divorce".

I guess she should have thought of that earlier . . .

Doofus #76 is Jonathon Guabello, of Fort Myers in Florida.

Authorities say a Fort Myers man shot himself in the arm after his girlfriend refused to have sex with him.

The Lee County Sheriff's Office reports that 29-year-old Jonathon Guabello and his girlfriend returned home from a bar early Wednesday morning. The girlfriend told deputies that Guabello had wanted to get intimate, but she wanted to go to sleep.

When Guabello became irate, authorities say the girlfriend went to a spare bedroom, and several minutes later she heard two gunshots. She told deputies Guabello came into her room and threatened her. He then stumbled into the kitchen and knocked himself unconscious.

Guabello was charged with threatening violence and firing a weapon in an occupied dwelling. He was being held on $100,000 bail.

I've heard it said that 'love hurts' . . . but I never knew how often it involved self-inflicted injuries!



Peter

More bad news for wine snobs

A couple of days ago I wrote about a forthcoming book by Malcolm Gluck on the wiles and machinations of the wine industry. Well, it seems a new device may cause even more headaches for the high priests of the wine cult.

A device that claims to turn cheap supermarket plonk into vintage wine and banish hangovers is set to hit the high street.

Inventors say a bottle of any bargain booze can be transformed in just 30 minutes, using space-age ultrasound technology.

The £350 gadget - which looks like an ordinary ice bucket - recreates the effects of decades of aging by colliding alcohol molecules inside the bottle.




Dragons Den veteran, entrepreneur and inventor Casey Jones, 53, is the man behind the machine, which is yet to be given a retail name.

He said: 'This machine can take your run-of-the-mill £3.99 bottle of plonk and turn it into a finest bottle of vintage, tasting like it's hundreds.

'It works on any alcohol that tastes better aged. Even a bottle of paint-stripper whisky can taste like an 8-year-aged single malt.'

Mr Jones is now in talks with leisure chain Hotel Du Vin about marketing the working-titled 'Ultrasonic Wine Ager'.

He said: 'I see thousands of inventions every year and there are a lot of crazy ones, but in every tonne of coal there is a diamond.

'Of all the inventions I deal with, this one has amazed me the most in the effects it has on alcohol.

'The look and bouquet of the drink is improved and because of the chemical changes, the alcohol is easier to absorb by the kidneys and therefore, hangovers are virtually eliminated.

'I have even tried it with orange juice after I saw a similar device being used in the US. It didn't just make the juice taste fresher, it made it look brighter too.'




Winemaker Andre Jones produces 40,000 bottles a year, at his family-owned Buzzard Valley Vineyard, near Tamworth, Staffs.

He said: 'Casey took one of our bottles and brought it back for us to try after it had been in the machine.

'I was amazed, it had definitely aged. Obviously it can't change the grape variety used, but it does mean a relatively poor variety can be made to taste a lot higher market.

'I would like to see it used on some of the Mediterranean varieties like a Rioja or a Chiraz.

'This could definitely have some applications for those restaurants who are buying wine for £10,000 a case.

'Technically I suppose you could buy a good wine at two or three years old and age it so it tastes like a 20-year-old vintage.

'Wine is at it's best five or so years after it's made, so this could help home brewers taste aged wine more easily.

'And the bankers paying £1,000 a bottle could be drinking wine only a few years old rather than 20.

'Of course you would have to tell them it's not quite the real thing.'

Sounds like a great idea! I'll buy one myself if it makes it to market. The thought of serving a palatable plonk to certain wine-snob guests, then informing them that it's Chateau Cardboard put through a wine-aging machine, is too good to resist!

Peter

It's Ig Nobel time again!

My favorite annual awards, the Ig Nobel prizes, awarded for 'discoveries that cannot, or should not, be reproduced', were presented tonight.




This year's winners include:

• Physics: Dorian Raymer, of the Scripps Institute of Oceanography, California, for discovering why ropes, hair and cables get more knotted the longer they are.
• Chemistry: Jointly awarded to Deborah Anderson, a professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Boston University's School of Medicine, and her colleagues, who found that Coca-Cola is a spermicide (for some reason, Diet Coke is the best variety); and to Chuang-Ye Hong, of Taipei Medical University, for showing that it is not. Prof. Anderson, whose teams' work appeared in the New England Journal of Medicine in 1985, commented, "We're thrilled to win an Ig Nobel, because the study was somewhat of a parody in the first place." Anderson added that she does not recommend using Coke for birth control purposes. (A Coca-Cola spokeswoman refused to comment.)
• Biology: Marie-Christine Cadiergues, of the National Veterinary School in Toulouse, for discovering that fleas jump higher on dogs than on cats.
• Medicine: Dan Ariely, of Duke University, for demonstrating that expensive placebos are better painkillers than cheaper ones. Ariely's team told volunteers they were being given a new kind of painkiller, with some receiving an expensive one and others a much cheaper version. Even though all of them received the same sugar pills, those who thought their pills were more expensive reported less pain when they were given small electric shocks.
• Economics: Geoffrey Miller, of the University of New Mexico, for discovering that lap dancers get larger tips when they are ovulating. Prof. Miller and his colleagues knew of prior studies that found women are more attractive to men when at peak fertility, so they applied this to the study of 'exotic dancers' (a.k.a. strippers). Of the 18 women they studied, average earnings were $250 for a five-hour shift. That jumped to $350 to $400 per five-hour shift when the women were their most fertile. "I have heard, anecdotally, that some lap dancers have scheduled shifts based on this research," Miller said.
• Archaeology: Astolfo Mello Araujo, of the University of Sao Paulo in Brazil, for measuring how the contents of an archaeological dig can be disrupted by the actions of an armadillo. The animals can move artifacts in archaeological dig sites up, down and even laterally by several meters as they dig. Araujo was delighted, saying via e-mail, "There is no Nobel Prize for archaeology, so an Ig Nobel is a good thing."
• Cognitive neuroscience: Toshiyuki Nakagaki, of Hokkaido University in Japan, for discovering that amoeboid organisms can solve puzzles. Prof. Nakagaki was nonplussed to learn of his award, conferred for showing that slime mold could navigate a simple maze. "I was wondering which aspect of our research attracted the Ig Nobel prize. How does the prize evaluate our research? We are always serious and don't know why they laugh once before thinking," Nakagaki said.
• Literature: David Sims, of Cass Business School, London, for discovering why there are bastards in the workplace. His paper examines how people construct roles as 'clever bastards', 'devious bastards' or 'bastard ex machina', and examines the mixture of joy and guilt experienced by labelling someone as such.
• Nutrition: Charles Spence, of Oxford University, for making crisps taste better by modifying the sound of their crunch. By making the crunch sounds louder, or by boosting the high frequencies, Spence made people rate the crisps 15% fresher. His work led to a collaboration with the Fat Duck restaurant in Bray, Berkshire, which played the sound of crashing waves to improve the flavour of oysters, and sizzling bacon to enhance egg and bacon ice cream.
• Peace: The Swiss 'federal ethics committee on non-human biotechnology' and the citizens of Switzerland, for acknowedging the principle that plants have dignity. No plant would comment on the record about this remarkable breakthrough.

Past winners include:

• Economics, 1991: Michael Milken, inventor of the 'junk bond', two years after he was indicted for racketeering and securities fraud. (Note: As of last year, despite serving a jail sentence for his crimes, Mr. Milken was allegedly worth about $2 billion - so the prize might well have been justified!
• Literature, 1993: Awarded to the 976 co-authors of a paper in the New England Journal of Medicine (vol. 329, no. 10). There were 100 times as many authors as there were pages in the article!
• Medicine, 1993: Awarded to Drs. James F. Nolan, Thomas J. Stillwell, and John P. Sands, Jr., all working at a Navy Hospital in San Diego, for their 1990 research report, 'Acute Management of the Zipper-Entrapped Penis'.
• Psychology, 1995: Shigeru Watanabe, Junko Sakamoto, and Masumi Wakita, who trained pigeons to discriminate between the paintings of Picasso and those of Monet.
• Biology, 1996: Anders Barheim and Hogne Sandvik discovered that sour cream stimulates the appetite of leeches, but that beer intoxicates them and garlic often kills them.
• Physics, 1996: Robert Matthews, who investigated Murphy's Law (in particular, whether buttered toast always falls with the buttered side down).
• Biology, 1998: Peter Fong, who experimented by feeding Prozac to clams.
• Physics, 2000: Andre Geim, of the University of Nijmegen, the Netherlands, and Sir Michael Berry, of Bristol University, England, for using magnets to levitate a frog.
• Medicine, 2005: Gregg A. Miller, of Oak Grove, Missouri, in the U.S.A., for inventing Neuticles — artificial replacement testicles for neutered dogs.
• Biology, 2006: Bart Knols, of Wageningen Agricultural University, in Wageningen, the Netherlands, and Ruurd de Jong of Wageningen Agricultural University and of Santa Maria degli Angeli, Italy, for showing that the female malaria mosquito Anopheles gambiae is attracted equally to the smell of limburger cheese and to the smell of human feet.

Sterling achievements (and achievers) all!

A video clip of the 2006 Ig Nobel awards may be found here, including footage of one of the winners of that year's Ornithology Ig Nobel award (conferred for explaining why woodpeckers don't get headaches).



Peter

And they call this "fashion"???

I'm stunned by a collection of photographs of the latest Paris (alleged) "fashions". Lady readers, please take a look at these sample pictures and tell me whether you'd wear this crap - or allow anyone you cared about to wear it, for that matter!














More pictures here, for those interested.

I can't for the life of me imagine anyone with any taste or feminine decorum even dreaming of wearing such utter rubbish! However, I think I'll show the last two photographs to farmers of my acquaintance. They're always looking for clothing and accessories to enhance the effectiveness of their scarecrows - and those hats should do very well indeed!

Peter

Testicular fortitude?

My appetite has taken a downward turn after reading a news article tonight about a new cookbook.

With the credit crunch kicking in, shoppers will be relieved to hear a cost-effective alternative to steak is now available for creating classic meat dishes.

The Testicle Cookbook: Cooking With Balls has been hailed as the world's first testicle recipe collection and includes testicle pizza, battered testicles and barbecued testicles with giblets.




And if counting the pennies isn't enough of a reason to indulge in the delicacy, testicles are also renowned for their libido-boosting properties.

Rich in testosterone, they are believed to be a powerful aphrodisiac in countries such as Serbia and China.

The e-book, available for download from the Internet, comes with handy video guides showing the author, Ljubomir Erovic, peeling the skin off testicles and slicing them up into bite-size chunks.

Several different animals, including stallions, ostriches, bulls, pigs and turkeys, get the Erovic treatment.

"Wash testicles thoroughly for 30-45 minutes," begins the recipe for testicles pie.

"Once softened, mince them in a mincer."

A "very sharp knife" is needed for traditional style testicles, which get boiled, cut up and deep fried in hot oil.

Erovic, 45, may be self-taught in the art of testicle cuisine but his 20 years of "cooking with balls" make him a world authority in the field.

He said: "The tastiest testicles in my opinion probably come from bulls, stallions or ostriches, although other people have their own favourites.

"The best for aphrodisiac properties are sheep and stallion testicles.

"All testicles can be eaten - except human, of course."

Erovic also organises the World Testicle Cooking Championship, held annually in Serbia since 2004. It draws in chefs from Australia, Bosnia-Herzegovina, Finland, Greece, Hungary, Norway and Serbia. One metric tonne of testicles are prepared.

I'd heard of the US 'delicacy' known as Rocky Mountain Oysters, but this puts it rather too blatantly in perspective for my taste! Besides - one metric tonne (2,204.6 pounds) of testicles for a cooking championship? Imagine how many animals had to sacrifice their posterity (so to speak) for the purpose! I feel uncomfortably itchy at the very thought . . .

Peter

Of God and human delusions

I'm sure many readers have noticed stories in the news now and again of how some aspect of religious faith has been found in something ordinary and everyday. Recent examples include:

• Christ on an oyster shell;
• Christ on a grotto wall;
• The Virgin Mary on a hospital window;
• The Virgin Mary on a piece of toast (leading to inevitable comments about the Holy Toast!), which was eventually sold to an online casino (hardly the holiest of repositories!) for $28,000;
• Jesus on a pancake (which turned out to be a marketing stunt for a frying-pan that imprints an image of Jesus on anything cooked in it);
• Various weeping statues of Jesus, Mary and others (most of which are quickly debunked by Church authorities, as in this case).

I'd thought that such 'apparitions' (or their labeling as such) was confined to the nuttier elements of the Christian faith: but apparently it's not so. There have been Hindu statues alleged to drink milk, for example, which caused a worldwide rush to temples among the faithful. It's almost a pity that science has debunked these milk-imbibing mannequins. There was also the incident in Mumbai, India, a couple of years ago, where it was widely believed that a 13th-century Sufi mystic, Makhdoom Ali Mahimi, had "sent a blessing" which turned sea-water sweet. It was ultimately found that the "sweetness" had been caused by massive pollution! Those who drank the "sweet" sea-water out of an excess of piety might have reduced their life expectancy by a fairly significant proportion . . .

The latest such "apparition" comes from Sweden, where a woman claims to have found the names of God and the prophet Mohammed inscribed inside a mango.

Rubina Sheikh from Helsingborg in southern Sweden believes she’s received a message from God – in a rotten mango.




As the two halves of Sheikh’s freshly sliced mango fell away from her knife last Saturday, she discovered what she says is a sign from God.

“When I sliced the mango in two, ‘Allah’ was written in one half and ‘Muhammad’ in the other. It’s a miracle, a sign from Allah,” said Sheikh to the Metro newspaper.

The practicing Muslim is convinced that the black lines emanating through the fruit form characters in Arabic which spell the holy words.




And local Muslims have been streaming in to see the miracle for themselves.

“I’d heard of the phenomenon earlier, but never before seen it with my own eyes,” Ghulam Mughal told Metro.

But an emeritus professor in Islam from nearby Lund University is less convinced the rotting fruit is a sign from Allah.

“There are 14 recognized ways to create the word ‘Allah’. When you think about how many mangoes there are out there, it’s not strange that one of them has a pattern which can be interpreted to be the right combination of characters,” said Jan Hjärpe to Metro.

Hmm. I know the Biblical standard for believers is "by their fruits ye shall know them" (Matthew 7:20): but I've never heard that God would make Himself known quite so literally in His fruits!

It brings to mind the satire on Jesus-in-toast perpetrated by the Museum of Hoaxes.

John Ordover sent this in. He was looking at a picture of Jesus (or rather, an artist's interpretation of what Jesus might have looked like) when he realized a piece of toast had miraculously appeared on it.




I think this must be a message from John's toaster! But can we be sure that actually is a piece of toast? It kinda looks like a granola bar to me.

Peter

The truth about the financial crisis!

Courtesy of John Bird and John Fortune, on ITV in Britain, we uncover the dark secrets of what's really going on.







Peter