Testicular fortitude?

My appetite has taken a downward turn after reading a news article tonight about a new cookbook.

With the credit crunch kicking in, shoppers will be relieved to hear a cost-effective alternative to steak is now available for creating classic meat dishes.

The Testicle Cookbook: Cooking With Balls has been hailed as the world's first testicle recipe collection and includes testicle pizza, battered testicles and barbecued testicles with giblets.




And if counting the pennies isn't enough of a reason to indulge in the delicacy, testicles are also renowned for their libido-boosting properties.

Rich in testosterone, they are believed to be a powerful aphrodisiac in countries such as Serbia and China.

The e-book, available for download from the Internet, comes with handy video guides showing the author, Ljubomir Erovic, peeling the skin off testicles and slicing them up into bite-size chunks.

Several different animals, including stallions, ostriches, bulls, pigs and turkeys, get the Erovic treatment.

"Wash testicles thoroughly for 30-45 minutes," begins the recipe for testicles pie.

"Once softened, mince them in a mincer."

A "very sharp knife" is needed for traditional style testicles, which get boiled, cut up and deep fried in hot oil.

Erovic, 45, may be self-taught in the art of testicle cuisine but his 20 years of "cooking with balls" make him a world authority in the field.

He said: "The tastiest testicles in my opinion probably come from bulls, stallions or ostriches, although other people have their own favourites.

"The best for aphrodisiac properties are sheep and stallion testicles.

"All testicles can be eaten - except human, of course."

Erovic also organises the World Testicle Cooking Championship, held annually in Serbia since 2004. It draws in chefs from Australia, Bosnia-Herzegovina, Finland, Greece, Hungary, Norway and Serbia. One metric tonne of testicles are prepared.

I'd heard of the US 'delicacy' known as Rocky Mountain Oysters, but this puts it rather too blatantly in perspective for my taste! Besides - one metric tonne (2,204.6 pounds) of testicles for a cooking championship? Imagine how many animals had to sacrifice their posterity (so to speak) for the purpose! I feel uncomfortably itchy at the very thought . . .

Peter