Wednesday, December 18, 2024

So much for modern medicine!

 

It seems I was misled by a therapist with an over-developed sense of humor.  Yesterday's stent extraction didn't involve electromagnetism at all:  rather, it was the old-fashioned approach of inserting what looked like a metallic earthworm up the urethra.  The "earthworm" then opened up to reveal a "grabber", which (guided by the urologist) seized hold of the bottom end of the stent and pulled it out.  Liberal use of local anesthetic helped dull the momentary (and very weird) sensation of being turned inside out, but it's still not something I recommend - to put it mildly!

Be that as it may, the stent is out, and I now have to re-learn how to use my internal plumbing, so to speak.  After several weeks of its normal function being completely bypassed by a metal tube, it doesn't work very well.  I have to try to resist the normal pressure of the bladder to get rid of its contents, strengthening the muscles involved until I can once again control the flow rather than go with it willy-nilly (you should pardon the expression).  Since this is the fourth kidney procedure I've endured this year, I'm not unfamiliar with the sensation, although I wish I wasn't!

In a month or so I'll have to undergo another CT scan, plus a comparative test to see whether the right kidney (the one affected by hydronephrosis) is functioning better in comparison to the left.  If the improvement is sufficient to warrant it, there may be another procedure to sort out potential blockages in the ureter.  However, if the right kidney does not "bounce back" to full function, the question will become whether it should be removed entirely, or left to provide what service it can.  My priority will be to reduce future kidney procedures to a minimum, which may or may not coincide with what the urologist wants to achieve!  Uppity kidneys are no fun at all.

Meanwhile, following the application of medicated cleanser, local anesthetic and sundry other substances, both our cats are more interested than usual in my nether regions.  They seem to think that post-procedure, they might produce cat treats, if only they can make sufficient contact with the bits concerned.  No amount of persuasion appears sufficient to convince them otherwise.  I'm considering the use of cat repellent to mark my "territory" and keep them at a safe distance, but I'm given to understand that my lady wife will have something (several somethings!) to say about that if I try.  I'll do my best to ignore other helpful and doubtless well-intended suggestions from friends who are also cat lovers (an expression for which, under the circumstances, I'm developing a somewhat jaundiced distaste).

(By the way, I can now confirm from personal experience the truth of Pam Brown's assertion that "Cats can work out mathematically the exact place to sit that will cause most inconvenience".  It will undoubtedly involve the tenderest, most pressure-sensitive portion of one's anatomy - and they won't sit still once they're on it, either!  Talk about a penalty claws . . .)

Blogging will be light for the rest of today while I try to get back to what passes for "normal" around here, while avoiding the ministrations of over-enthusiastic four-footed friends.

Peter


17 comments:

McChuck said...

Best wishes on a speedy recovery.

Anonymous said...

Anesthesia?
LUXURY!

You haven't lived until you have a teenaged Navy corpsman do it, no anesthesia, no warning, 5 seconds after finding out Richie Cunningham is the subject-matter "expert" on this procedure, and no one up until 2 seconds ago thought it important to let you know the only way to get a stent out after they put one in there, was through the only access point that's always there.
And with a "Just lie back on the table while I insert this combination plumber's snake/olive plucker up to grab that stent...hang on a sec...a little to the left...aaaaand...GOTCHA!"

RIIIIPPPP! Yooooooooowwwwwww!!

Then he reels that thing in after what feels like someone tearing your plumbing apart, and brings the (literally) bloody culprit out and holds it up.

"Okay, that's all, you're good to go!" and out you get bounced, wondering if your junk will ever work right again, and oh, btw, How come nobody told me about the blood coming out of my...YIKES!!!"

Yesirree, U.S. Navy medical care: nothing like it in the world.
All information will be given out on an after-you-need-to-know basis.

Condolences on your "procedure".
Best wishes for a speedy recovery.

Anonymous said...

Hang in there brother!
I'm cringing at the thought of an earthworm with a grabber. I keep getting flashbacks to the scenes from the Dune movie series.

Anonymous said...

As someone who had to have a kidney transplant 5 years ago, I empathise with your experiences. Stay well.

SiGraybeard said...

I have to admit, I was a bit thrown by the talk of electromagnetics. A glance at any picture of the Earth from space (or any planet) shows that God isn't very fond of designing with straight lines, and is far more likely to design with partial differential equations. That means getting a stent out of there by pulling it with a magnet is gonna need some pretty fancy steering to keep from pulling it through the wall of a tube you really don't want to have punctured!

Hope the healing/re-learning goes well.

Paul said...

Back hand launch into orbit worked for me and cats. And I like my cats.

Bob Gibson said...

Back when I first started having issues with kidney stones I went in for an examination. The tech inserted some local to alleviate the 'discomfort' (I'd prefer medicos not pussyfoot around with euphemisms and call it pain) before inserting the urethra probe. When it went in, I about levitated off the table and expressed, rather loudly, that the anesthetic wasn't working very well. The response was what I felt at the time was an evil chuckle and the wry reply, "It never does".

I have felt, at least in part, your pain, Brother. Prayers continuing for your swift and complete recovery ongoing.

Vitaeus said...

You win, getting 5 stitches next to my eyeball at periscope depth in state 5 seas.

Pigpen51 said...

I have had to at least 9 lithotripsies to break up kidney stones. I had a stent put in twice, due to the location of the stone and how large the pieces were that were left to pass.
Both times that I had the stents removed, I went into the hospital and was put into what we used to call twilight sleep, or basically the same anesthetic that is used during a colonoscopy. Each time, they tried to use the minimum amount of anesthetic possible, but I remembering that they had to keep increasing the amount until I was basically completely out.
The doctor said, "relax, relax", but it was not even a possibility. Fortunately I have only had a kidney stone once in the past 5 or so years. Part of the reason that I formed the stones in the first place was due to having a gastric bypass that resulted in over 100 plus pounds of weight loss, and I assume a change in my body chemistry. I have stabilized at my current weight of around 200 pounds now, and hopefully that will keep the stones at bay.
I wish you all the best and hope that things go well in the future.

NobobyExpects said...

Good news, at last! Hope the healing continues in a good course.

On the feline front, sorry for your inconveniences, even when one could not but chuckle a bit.

boron said...

sorry to hear you're having so much trouble; what I'm unable to understand is why the medics are unable to use a nitrous oxide/oxygen mixture to help alleviate pain and anxiety

Anonymous said...

Lean into the cat's face and hiss loudly. They understand what this means.

Old NFO said...

Good luck, and prayers things 'work as advertised'!

Anonymous said...

Your description makes a colonoscopy seem pleasant by comparison :)

Anonymous said...

Here's wishing you a speedy and complete recovery.
I am 70 years old (even I don't believe it!) and I've had a few procedures of late. I have worked in the medical field as a youngster and as a retired military guy (including at a urology office - same place that I am a patient now).
In both iterations of working in hospitals/clinics, I was and am amazed at the techniques involved to insert and remove things. "You do WHAT?" was often on my mind, even as I was tasked to brace a patient for a procedure. Fully half of my amazement and respect is for those medicos and patients who were the first to perform and suffer through those procedures.
Again - get well. I love your writing; there are other blogs I can miss and not worry about catching up on, but not yours.

Anonymous said...

I had my Kidney out about a year ago. Kidney cancer - caught it early stage 2 so removing the kidney "solved" the problem. No chemo, no radiation. So I am down to one. Doc said that the one good kidney will grow up to 30% to compensate for the loss. I have had no problems in function since the nephrectomy. It is not what I wanted but other than a few new scars I do not notice any real difference with one kidney vs. two. I say this to say that if you can keep two with no problems that would be best but do not be afraid if they have to remove one. It is not the end of the world. There is life after kidney removal.

Bigtube6

audeojude said...

just a comment on kidney stones.. I've had them twice that involved more pain that I ever want to experience again. For me a common precursor was that it felt like i was having back pain but just barely to the right of my lower spine. I have a service connected injury there and both times thought it was just my normal back pains from the injury until the kidney stones were fully developed and sent me to ER. I have experienced that a few more times over the years where I get the lower back pain but just a bit to right of spine. I now take 800 milligrams of Motrin 3 times a day for a couple days and drink as much water as I can stand. Usually within the day the pain will all of a sudden just go away as inflammation goes down and turns stones loose and they flush out. Its been 15 years or so since I needed medical intervention. I fully believe that noticing the symptoms and pre-emptively doing what the hospital did to me both times before has let me treat myself before I ended up in that very painful stage of kidney stones. Again I am me and you are you so what I feel and what works for me might or might not help you. However a couple days of high dose ibuprofen lots of water are a pretty mild preventative.