Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Doofus Of The Day #153

A wannabe cross-species rapist in Russia got his come-uppance (or should that be put-downance?) in no uncertain terms recently. According to The Sun:

A FEISTY raccoon has bitten off a pervert’s penis as he was trying to rape the animal.

Alexander Kirilov, 44, was on a drunken weekend with pals when he leapt on the terrified – but toothy – fur ball.

“When I saw the raccoon I thought I’d have some fun,” he told stunned casualty surgeons in Moscow.

Now Russian plastic surgeons are trying to restore his mangled manhood.

“He’s been told they can get things working again but they can’t sew back on what the raccoon bit off," said a pal.

“That’s gone forever so there isn’t going to be much for them to work with."

Hmm . . . what part of GRRROOOWWWRRRR! didn't he understand?



C. S. P. Schofield said...

........you might be a redneck.

Cliff47 said...

The Thais have become expert in the penile reattachment procedure, providing that the local critters have not chewed the removed member too badly. This may not do Mr. Kirilov much good with the raccoon masticating his manhood.

Simeron Steelhammer said...

Gives a whole new meaning to "Take a bite outta crime" don't it?

Do we need to call this being Bobbitized or Raccoonized?

And finally, you could say the doctors in this case are....stumped.


Anonymous said...

Seems like I read recently that Lorena Bobbits sister was arrested for trimming her husbands wick.

Crazy world.

Old NFO said...

Simeron beat me to it...LOL