Today's award goes to an idiot in Germany.
According to Die Welt, the Munich fire department had to come to a man's rescue to free him from 13 metal penis rings after he had been unable to get them off for four days.
Once the agony was simply too much, the 52-year-old ran to the emergency admission of the Munich hospital, but even the doctors there weren't able to help - they called in the fire department.
It was an "elaborate and extremely careful" process commented the fire department after an hour of removing each ring one by one.
The poor 52-year-old must have nearly fainted when the officials marched up with two angle grinders to free him from his pain.
But 13 rings? The Local turned to the employees of Berlin's Dildoking sex store to ask the obvious questions:
"I can't give an estimate of how big his penis is, but it doesn't have to be particularly big, because there are different sized rings," said salesman Martin Bertram.
"Also, people like to use greater numbers of rings in order to stretch their penis – it's a specific fetish," he added.
According to him, this fetish has been in trend ever since penis rings came into existence.
There's more at the link.
I suppose I'm fortunate in never, ever having been tempted to try anything even remotely as ridiculous as that. I daresay the same applies to most of my readers (at least, I sincerely hope so!).
Nevertheless, I can't help but wonder how one goes about buying a ring to fit that particular appendage . . . surely sex shops don't provide ring sizers, like jewelry shops do?