Today's award goes to a hapless thief in Scotland. A tip o' the hat to reader M. L. for sending me the link.
A man with no sailing experience who stole a yacht - and then had to be rescued during a storm - has been jailed for 19 months.
Cathal Matthew, 29, sailed 50 miles out to sea after stealing the £6,000 boat from Portknockie Harbour in Moray.
But he had to be rescued when he became stranded in a gale force 8 storm in the Moray Firth.
After drifting near an oil rig, Matthew managed to grab the attention of a ship captain who took him on board.
He was sentenced at Elgin Sheriff Court having previously admitted stealing the Tradewind vessel and a car and driving while disqualified.
There's more at the link.
I think Mr. Matthew is lucky to be alive. As for his lawyer, I think the man needs some serious help.
Defence lawyer Robert Cruickshank said his client had acted in an impulsive manner and put this down to it being a coping mechanism "arising out of stress".
Stress? Stress? Surely he could come up with a better excuse than that? If putting one's life in danger is a 'coping mechanism', I don't want to know what his client does for light relief when he isn't stressed!