Friday, February 15, 2008

The trials and tribulations of a householder

Every now and again someone hits the nail on the head.

Sometimes it's screamingly funny.

The latest person to make me laugh out loud while nodding my head in understanding and approval is Richard Glover, writing in the Sydney Morning Herald. He bravely tackles the subject of keeping house.

A few excerpts to whet your appetite:

At home, we've just swapped over to the new energy-saving lightbulbs. They're an amazing piece of technology: every time you turn on a light switch, the room gets darker. Fit the whole house with them and you end up in total darkness.

. . .

The bank may enjoy flexing its muscles about the mortgage but if it doesn't act fast there'll be nothing left. Each evening I fix one thing, only to have two more things go wrong. If I stop the tap dripping in the bathroom, two fresh leaks spring forth from the washing machine. I'm like the kid in front of the Dutch dyke not knowing which hole to plug first.

. . .

Due to the mid-summer rain, the lawn now needs cutting every 30 minutes. It's like painting the Harbour Bridge: as soon as you've finished, it's time to start again. Leave it for five minutes and it's waist-high. Children and dogs get lost in it. A herd of bison grazes up by the clothesline.

Wonderfully funny stuff. Read the whole thing and laugh!


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