Today's award goes to a hapless diner in Connecticut.
A Connecticut man said he was reaching for his wallet to pay his restaurant bill when he shot himself in the buttocks Friday night.
Police said Michael Southmayd, 56, of Bridgeport ... was ... dining with his family ... when he said he reached for his wallet and somehow pulled his firearm from the holster and shot himself. They bullet was lodged in the floor, and the casing stuck in the gun.
There's more at the link.
Clearly, he was ass-king for it . . .