Larry Correia brings the smackdown to wannabe auditors

 

The inimitable Larry Correia, best-selling author and friend, has written another outstanding (and rather profane) rant against those who presume to know what's involved in an audit, such as those currently being conducted of the operations of government administration.  (Being a chartered accountant and a forensic auditor, he knows whereof he speaks.)  Here are some excerpts.

Watching everybody I know on the left pontificating about the proper way to conduct audits, after getting their accounting degrees from the University of Internet this week, is absolute cringe for me.

Guys, listen, I say this with love… You don’t know **** about **** and it’s fucking embarrassing. Just stop. You sound like idiots.

So now, as a guy who used to be an auditor, who has defended companies from dozens of audits from different government agencies, I’ll try to correct some of your incredibly stupid NPC talking points you keep endlessly barfing up.

. . .

But but but Elon is posting things on Twitter that aren’t 100% perfectly accurate according to liberal fact checkers from liberal news organizations which up until recently have been receiving large amounts of tax payer money for phony baloney reasons!

So what?

The stuff that’s been made public so far is what’s called findings. Findings aren’t the final report. That takes time. And you’ll probably never see those final reports because again, say it with me, INTERNAL. The only way you’ll ever see the complete detailed final report for any given agency is Donald Trump feels like it. Same as any CEO can drop whatever internal company info he feels like.

But DOGE is going TOO FAST! Well no ****. They are on a tight time frame. The republicans control everything right now (barely, and many of them are every bit as corrupt as the dems) only the government is ******* huge, Trump got elected on cutting it, and mid terms are in two years.

. . .

The time for a gentle, caring, measured (slow), careful pruning of government to only remove the bad tissue with a scalpel was generations ago. We are now at the axe and TQ time before the patient dies. Yeah, that sucks, but that’s what happens when you procrastinate going to the doctors while a cancerous tumor the size of a ******* watermelon grows out your back.

. . .

Will government programs you like get cut? Absolutely. Will this suck for a lot of people? Yes. Will good hard working employees get cut along with the legions of useless ******* dregs? Yup. Is this still necessary so our entire nation doesn’t collapse into utter dog **** under the weight of the all consuming federal leviathan, where to survive we huddle in the ruins eating rats cooked over piles of burning dollar bills? Also yes.

They’re called budget cuts because they hurt. If they were pleasant they would be called budget tickles.

. . .

If a company’s records were full of broken bullshit, the government would assume the worst, fine the ever living **** out of you, and possibly send you to jail. Because the government’s default assumption when a company’s books are all ****** up is that it is on purpose to hide fraud.

Except when our government’s books are filled with things like 30 million dollars to fund a Transsexual Peruvian Orchestra, and 99% of that money never made it out of northern Virginia, we’re supposed to assume that’s just nice fluffy goodness, and HOW DARE YOU assume there’s anything dishonest going on.

There's more at the link.

Refer to this morning's cartoon for the likely, devoutly-to-be-wished consequences of such audits . . .

Peter