The idle musings of a former military man, former computer geek, medically retired pastor and now full-time writer. Contents guaranteed to offend the politically correct and anal-retentive from time to time. My approach to life is that it should be taken with a large helping of laughter, and sufficient firepower to keep it tamed!
I like that last one with the cemetery because freaking people out is my thing. Once, during an election year, a young female campaign worker for Linda McMahon approached me at a town Independence Day fireworks event. She was trying to hand me a flyer and started her spiel, when I stopped her and said, "Uh, I can't vote because I'm a convicted violent felon."
She backed away quickly and silently. In hindsight I shoulda yelled "BOO!" at her and made her piss herself.
Mom told the story about growing up in a small town. The cemetery was conveniently next door to the hospital. The night shift orderlies and nurses would sometimes take breaks for, ahem, a little recreational activity. White clad figures moving around the cemetery at night, sometimes accompanied by moans and groans, had the young 'uns freaked out.
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Oh, no... turns out Ballistic Pumpkin Spice Cerakote is a thing.
I like that last one with the cemetery because freaking people out is my thing. Once, during an election year, a young female campaign worker for Linda McMahon approached me at a town Independence Day fireworks event. She was trying to hand me a flyer and started her spiel, when I stopped her and said, "Uh, I can't vote because I'm a convicted violent felon."
She backed away quickly and silently. In hindsight I shoulda yelled "BOO!" at her and made her piss herself.
I liked the last one. As well as the guy having tea with his daughter. Did that some with my own girls.
Mom told the story about growing up in a small town. The cemetery was conveniently next door to the hospital. The night shift orderlies and nurses would sometimes take breaks for, ahem, a little recreational activity. White clad figures moving around the cemetery at night, sometimes accompanied by moans and groans, had the young 'uns freaked out.
This collection is particularly golden--better even than your usual. Thank you for a better day!
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