Today's award goes to a (very) distracted driver in (where else?) Florida.
A Florida driver nearly had his penis bitten off by a woman giving him oral sex after he 'lost control' of his car in a head-on collision.
Fort Lauderdale Fire Rescue responded to an accident on North Ocean Boulevard and 19th Street on Thursday after the unidentified man crashed his vehicle into a FedEx van, according to The Star.
Authorities told Local 10 News that the man 'lost control' of the vehicle around 7pm after becoming distracted by his girlfriend's sexual acts.
The couple was found half-naked in their SUV and can be seen in photos laying on the ground.
. . .
The man appears to be in pain as officers gather around him while he laid on his back. The woman, who had her jeans around her ankles, laid face down on the pavement in nothing but her underwear and a white tank top.
The driver sustained injuries in his groin area, but otherwise was fine. The woman was said to have sustain mild injuries on impact, according to The Star.
So far, no one has been charged in the accident and police have not released names.
There's more at the link, including photographs.
"Injuries to his groin area", eh? Toothmarks on the old Twinkie, perhaps? Perhaps denture fixative might speed up his healing?
That'll teach him to try sex "al dente" . . .