Monday, February 6, 2023

If you need some light relief...


... click over to Old NFO's place and read about the (mis)adventures of a hapless tinkerer who tried to erect an electric fence in his back yard.  A sample:

One day I’m mowing the backyard with my cheapo Walmart 6 hp big wheel push mower. The hot wire is broken and laying out in the yard. I knew for a fact that I unplugged the charger. I pushed the mower around the wire and reached down to grab it, to throw it out of the way.

It seems as though I hadn’t remembered to unplug it after all.

Now I’m standing there, I’ve got the running lawnmower in my right hand and the 1.7 giga-volt fence wire in the other hand. Keep in mind the charger is about the size of a marine battery and has a picture of an upside down cow on fire on the cover.

Time stood still.

The first thing I notice is my pecker trying to climb up the front side of my body. My ears curled downwards and I could feel the lawnmower ignition firing in the backside of my brain. Every time that Briggs & Stratton rolled over, I could feel the spark in my head. I was literally at one with the engine.

It seems as though the fence charger and the piece of **** lawnmower were fighting over who would control my electrical impulses.

Science says you cannot crap, pee, and vomit at the same time. I beg to differ.

There's more at the link.  It's a masterpiece!  Click over there and enjoy.



Dee said...

Thanks, I haven't laughed that hard at anything in a long while needed that one.

1chota said...

That was classic! I visualized the basement scene from Home Alone II where the screamer tried to turn on the water in the sink that the kid had hooked up to the welding machine.

FeralFerret said...

I nearly fell out of my chair laughing when I read this.

I never got bit by an electric fence while growing up in the country, but know a lot of people who did. A couple of friends stopped on a deserted country road after going to a keg party. They didn't see the electric fence, but quickly learned that urine is conductive.

Duke of URL VFM#391 said...

Thanks, Peter, for the link. I've added NAM to my must-follow list. I especially liked this because I grew up in Western Nebraska - as a teen, one of our regular entertainments was conning a visiting citykid into pissing on a cattle fence.

Old NFO said...

Thanks Peter!

Andrew Smith said...

Just in the last week I was being told a story of some farm kids where one of them decided to pee on the electric fence to find out for sure how much it would hurt.

Years later he and his wife are having difficulties trying to have children. His friends weren't sure if the connection was made but it was kinda obvious to them.