Friday, March 28, 2014

Life skills via e-mail

Received by e-mail from at least half a dozen readers yesterday and today, original source unknown:

  • I'm not saying let's go kill all the stupid people.  I'm just saying let's remove all the warning labels and let the problem work itself out.
  • I changed my car horn to gun shot sounds.  People move out of the way much faster now.
  • You can tell a lot about a woman's mood just by her hands.  If they are holding a gun, she's probably angry.
  • Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers.  Now they drink like their fathers.
  • You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like someone?  That's common sense leaving your body.
  • I don't like making plans for the day because then the word "premeditated" gets thrown around in the courtroom.
  • I didn't make it to the gym again today.  That makes five years in a row.
  • I decided to change calling the bathroom the 'John' and renamed it the 'Jim'.  I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.
  • Dear paranoid people who check behind shower curtains for murderers:  if you find one, what's your plan?



Ajdshootist said...

Like it one or two i could do.

Old NFO said...

Urm... carry a bigger axe??? :-)