Thursday, January 23, 2020

Men are dipping their WHAT into WHAT???


Now and again one comes across something so egregiously stupid that one can't quite grasp it for a moment.  One sits, reading the words or watching the video, and thinking, "This absolutely cannot - can't possibly - be true!"  Sadly, all too often it is.  (Follow the links below at your own risk!)

A groundbreaking 2013 study of how mice can taste with their testicles has resurfaced online. And now social media bozos are testing the theory, first published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, by dipping their genitals in soy sauce for the latest bizarre TikTok trend.

The study was apparently rediscovered by TikTok user Regan, who challenged male social media users to “please dip your ***** in something [because] it’s for science and I must know.”

Go figure: TikTokers were eager to lend their scrotums to science. One viral response — posted five days ago by user Alx James — depicts an intrepid gastronomer basting his **** with soy sauce (don’t worry, he doesn’t show the actual application) while sitting in his car with takeout grub. James says he was inspired by the portion of the study that claims “the amino acids inside soy sauce can also be detected by the *****.”

James also claims his testicular taste test was a success. “Oh my God, I can taste the salt!” exclaims the ecstatic experimenter, adding “that’s ridiculous” before the clip ends.

Needless to say, the viral vid racked up more than 800,000 likes and 9,000-plus comments from the peanut gallery. “When I was younger, I thought in 2020 we’d have flying cars but no it’s just guys dipping their junk in soy sauce,” mused one social media pundit.

. . .

James wasn’t the only one to conduct the unorthodox experiment. Social media guru GayGod (a k a YouTuber Matthew Lush) seconded Alex’s findings in another viral vid, claiming to his 966,000 followers he could detect the soy sauce and orange juice.

However, much to some medical professionals’ chagrin, there’s no evidence “to back up any claims that men (of any species) can actually taste things through their junk,” Dr. Kieran Kennedy told Men’s Health.

There's more at the link.

Y'know . . . when my momma and poppa raised me, they taught me a few things.  One of them was that the good Lord gave me a tongue for a reason (well, for several reasons, actually).  One of them was to taste my food.  They didn't have to tell me that no other organ was designed to do that.  I kinda figured that out for myself!  I worked out quickly enough that my nether regions were designed for other purposes.  Initially, they involved diapers and the filling thereof.  Later . . . well, later things got more interesting!

Be that as it may, I have never felt even the slightest temptation to dip my nether regions into anything except water - preferably warm enough that it doesn't cause their rapid contraction (not to mention retraction).  I have better uses for soy sauce and orange juice.  They involve gastronomic utility and digestion.  They do NOT . . . oh, never mind.

I'm a man of faith, so I do have a ready explanation for those who do these things.  As the late, great Samuel Johnson put it (according to Boswell, anyway), "Quem Deus vult perdere, prius dementat".  And no, he wasn't referring to a Toyota Prius!




Peter

10 comments:

Antibubba said...

To be fair, at this point a little more soy won't affect their gonads any more; if they are doing this, they no longer need their little buddies.

stencil said...

Stangely. I saw no references to gochujang or to habanero sauce. Perhaps there still is some space left between stupid and crazy.
.

Orvan Taurus said...

Stencil: Ready to start a successor to the "Cinnamon Challenge"?
No, NOT suggesting you attempt it yourself.

Peter B said...

The PNAS paper is really very interesting. It demonstrates that testicles are more complicated than they were once thought to be; they continuously sample the blood not just for amino acids and the presence of sugar (probably a good idea to know what your nutritional status is before you start expending scarce protein, minerals and energy on making sperm, for example.) It's also been discovered that testes have "taste buds" for chemicals that taste bitter (a likely proxy for other aspects of nutritional status and toxicity) and probably other things as well.

It doesn't say that rat or mouse testicles taste the ground they're dragging along through the skin, which is what that moron on Tik Tok made it out to say. Or maybe he was trolling his audience to see how stupid they are.

As he demonstrated, pretty stupid.

Brian said...

Whelp, not sure about the taste but way back in the dark ages of my first marriage my wife joggled my, err, elbow one night while I was driving with one hand on the wheel and the other wrapped around a glass of scotch causing said liquid to bath my boys - again not sure of the taste but it burned like a mother.

Unknown said...

These are the same kids that used to eat Tide pods,and that we were supposed to let make gun policy for us.
I am sorry, but these guys are much dumber than I was when I was young, and the older I get, the dumber I realize I was when I was young.

I live in Michigan, and back in the 1970's we had a problem with cattle feed, and it was mixed with the fire retardant PBB. If you lived in our state at that time, you have it in your body, there is no getting around it. It can cause problems with your thyroid, which I have, and I take pills to make up for what my thyroid doesn't produce. I suspect that something in our environment that has not yet been discovered yet, makes our youth stupid. They simply cannot be that dumb on their own.
Pigpen51

Philip Sells said...

"To him whom God would destroy, He leases a Prius"? This explains much, O wise one.

Will said...

unknown @ 7:59

regarding dumb:

realize that the early Progressives deliberately instituted a dumbing down of our schools, starting in the 1890's, IIRC. Not just teaching less, but also teaching falsehoods and very slanted views on history, especially US history. I could see this in school in the 60's, as there was a noticeable difference between the current textbooks, and the books in the school's own library.

Public schools in the US are a joke, and have been for a very long time. At best, they are babysitters for the parents, and at worst, they are indoctrination centers for the Progressives.

Larry said...

Ace of Spades was breaking out the ball-dipping pudding fairly regularly to celebrate great events a decade or more ago. Of course, he's technically an Ewok rather than human, based on body hair. But the concept is not unknown in the conservative-sphere. Maybe it was a knockoff of teabagging? I don't know. I've never tried it, so can't vouch for taste receptors, but can vouch for pain receptors when I got crotch rot in the Philippines and tried an anti-fungal spray intended for feet. I didn't read the fine print and see all the rubbing alcohol. I thought I'd cauterized myself into sterility once the hollering died down. I was embarrassed to discover it was me making all the racket as a simulated an Indian war dance around the barracks room (fortunately, my roommate was at work). If I'd have had cold pudding at the time, I'd have damned sure dipped my balls in it then for some sort of relief!

Tal Hartsfeld said...

This whole idea is just "nutty", that's all.
Anyone who would follow through on it is simply a "nut"case, pure and simple.