A: When she's not from the island of Lesvos (also known as Lesbos) in the Aegean.
At least, that's the argument of the residents of Lesvos, famous as the home of Sappho, a lady poet of the 7th century BC who wrote love poems to and about women.
Some residents on the Greek island of Lesvos say they are the only true Lesbians and they want gay groups to stop using the word.
Several residents have begun legal proceedings, and pending a ruling have asked a court to ban the Gay and Lesbian Community of Greece from using the word lesbian in their title.
Plaintiff Dimitris Lambrou says the dispute is over identity and not sexuality.
"We must protect our identity, the name that defines our origin from being stolen," he told Reuters TV today. "Our legal actions have nothing to do with the sexual orientation of our adversaries."
I've heard of many silly court cases, but this has to be one of the sillier ones of 2008. I've known many women who would claim to be lesbian, yet virtually none of them would have been able to tell you that the term originated from the name of the island. It's become universal, no longer connected with a geographical location at all except for an accident of history.
If this lawsuit succeeds, I can see GLAAD launching another one, rather closer to home.
You see, there's a certain brand of milk sold in these parts. Its name proudly plays on its homogenized status.
That's right, dear reader.
The brand name, in large capital letters on the label for all the world to see, is 'HOMO'.
This should be fun . . .
Peter
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