Our first Doofus Of The Day comes from Gold Beach, Oregon. He or she is a hospital worker who appears to be illiterate - at least, they can't recognize a man's name and figure out that their diagnosis is impossible!
A patient treated for agonizing abdominal pain received this surprising news in the hospital's paperwork: "Based on your visit today, we know you are pregnant." Surprising indeed for 71-year-old John Grady Pippen.
The staff at Curry General Hospital in Gold Beach gave the retired mechanic and logger the ridiculously happy news this month, along with some pain pills.
Hospital administrator William McMillan says an errant keystroke caused the hospital's computer to spit out the wrong discharge instructions for the grandfather.
Uh-huh.
Our second Doofus is from Lincoln, Nebraska.
Lincoln police reported the rare occurrence of arresting a man who called them for help. Officials said a 25-year-old man called police Wednesday night to say someone was trying to break into his apartment.
When police arrived, they discovered it was the apartment manager trying to get into the apartment, which was supposed to be vacant.
Police said someone had illegally changed the locks on the apartment, and the man arrested was illegally occupying it.
Police also found more than three pounds of marijuana, equipment used to grow marijuana and nearly $3,500 in cash in the apartment.
Allow me to assure you, cops just love crooks who are that stupid! It makes their job so much easier . . .
Peter
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