Friday, December 30, 2022

I'd be embarrassed to place an order like this

 

Courtesy of an e-mail from a regular reader, we come across this coffee order at Starbucks (click the image for a larger view):



Pretentious?  Check.  Twee?  Check.  Ridiculous?  Check.

I'd be embarrassed to place an order like that, making almost impossible demands on the barista and demonstrating my own sense of entitlement above all else.  What happened to ordering a simple cup of coffee, for heaven's sake?

I suppose it's a worthwhile check for sanity.  If you want to hire someone for your business, take them to a coffee shop and listen to what they order.  If it's anything like the above, drop them like a hot potato!




Peter


27 comments:

Rick T said...

I hope that was a joke order to see just how complex the system allowed.

Otherwise? Yikes, that person isn't just high maintenance.

MNW said...

Walking into a place like that and asking for a large, black coffee one is often greeted with looks of confusion

BigCountryExpat said...

Also, Completely -Jetho-Bodeen-Dumb-as-a-Stump-

Notice the request for "Lactaid"? Usually indicates latose intolerance... We have to use this for Gran#2 as she's lactose intolerant (and maaaan did that make for some ugly diapers until we learned this) but then, this maroon requests 'Heavy Cream' as well as 'Cream' itself...
Brilliant Aye?

Nevermind the vast cornucopia of the diabeetus ingredients on top of everything else...

BobF said...

I agree that it seems a test of some sort. Either than or the customer is a Karen in letters too large to fit on even a billboard.

I've been in a Starb... twice in my life, both times on the road with a passenger who likes those places of whatever repute. First time I ordered "coffee" and yes, I got that "you're beneath our dignity" look. Second time, remembering first time, I ordered a hot chocolate. Same reaction. I haven't been in one since -- he gets out and gets his own and then we continue down the road. (We traveled together to track meets as officials.)

Oh. And I have a relative who will drive 5 miles out of her way to go to a Starb... "on the way" to her destination.

FeralFerret said...

Apparently this person has no interest in actually having any coffee in their coffee.

Jim said...

I'll stick to black coffee though I'm not adverse to adding some Bailey's on occasion.

Paul said...

Americano is black with cream.

I remember reading an article in an airline mag extolling the value of Starbucks coffee. Downgrading drip coffee as so much dish water. Was going through o’hare which had a brand spanking new Starbucks. Walked up and saw a selection that did not make sense so I asked for a plain black. Girl was flummoxed but figure out how to get me one.

Most awful bitter brew I ever tasked.

So not really interested any more.

June J said...

I'd be embarrassed to be seen ordering Starbucks coffee.

selsey.steve said...

I would give a simple two-word reply to this sort of order. One of the words would be "***" The other would be "Off"

jsallison said...

cream(er) and two sugars, sometimes black. Went on cruise with the late wife-unit and for the first breakfast ordered two eggs over easy. The Indonesian cook looked up at me and said 'You're my hero!" I immediately came back with 'Then you have depressingly low standards' Everyone in earshot cracked up. Everyone else seemed to be playing Stump the Cook with their orders.

Dr. Coyote said...

This has got to be a "let's test the order system" stunt, probably by employees or a friend. Otherwise, I don't want to live in that world. Eh, it's Starbucks, so I pretty much don't anyway.

In the same vein as testing a job applicant, this could be an interesting idea for screening on the second or third date. Weird order = high maintenance --> move on to better prospects. Passing that, for the next date go to a gun shop, see what she picks, and – most importantly – can she pass the NICS check?

re MNW, yeah, "black, large." It really messes with heads in some quarters.

blogger said...

Someone's monkeywrenching Starbucks.

- Borepatch

Tripwire said...

Got it. One cup o' Joe comin' up.

ayetter2003 said...

I wouldn't hire anyone who goes to a coffee shop. Make your own or get it out of the coffee machine.

HMS Defiant said...

My brother is a stock broker in Ca. His firm had a wealthy client with extensive large portfolio and even the rookies fought to get anyone else in the firm to take her off their books. It was a million $ account but she'd call 5 or 20 times a day and want to get the latest on every single stock in her account. I'd treat the order above like that and simply inform that customer that we couldn't do that anymore for less than $40.00.

HMS Defiant said...

Oh, and coffee shops have their place. I really enjoyed reading the Stephensens System of the World by Neal Stephenson and a good bit of that covered the rise of coffee shops. They were good places to meet friends, do business and take a break. I rarely order coffee anymore but we go to a great coffee shop in Burton that makes killer Rachel sandwiches and has nice comfy chairs.

I just don't go to starbs since I left California.

MrGarabaldi said...

hey Peter;

I'll just stick with the "Kraznovian Embassies" I.E. Waffle Houses for my coffee, lol

Rob said...

I watched a youtube short this morning, the girl went to Starbucks because she "deserved it".
Seem to me there is a lot more of the "I deserve it" thought going on these days.

Philip Sells said...

I have some coworkers who put in a group order at Bucko's once a week or so. I thought some of their orders were kind of convoluted, with multiple ingredients and adjectives and all, but those were nothing compared to this.

Once, I joined in one of these group orders just to see how it would be (and also to be a good sport). I was told later that the store apparently got my order incorrect, so they gave me a complimentary triple espresso instead. Drinking that was one of the worst mistakes I made that month.

Hunting Guy said...

I’ve never had any Kraznovian coffee. Is it any good?

Since Larry Correia doesn’t drink coffee, I can’t ask him.

glasslass said...

Never had a cup of coffee and sure don't understand spending that much money for 1 cup. Was in a Starbucks twice, once to pick up a sandwich and once to pick up sweets for the crew. Our small town doesn't even have a coffee shop.

Old NFO said...

What the hell is THAT???

Tsgt Joe said...

There used to be a Borders bookstore near me that I visited regularly. Occasionally I would grace their coffee shop with my presence . They had the fancy drinks so I would get this coffee concoction that had chocolate, whipped cream and cinnamon and some other stuff. It was desert. I never understood folks fascination with Starbucks, it doesn't even taste good and it truly pisses me off that I must order a grande to get a large.

Robert said...

I received a Starbux gift card for Xmas once; I didn't realize the giver hated me. So, with a big sigh, I went into a Starbux and tried to order an ordinary coffee; ordering extra plutonium with a dusting of warm iridium would've produced less consternation in the staff.

Philip Sells said...

Robert, that sounds like it could be a nice little new spiffy line of drinks for them - little tiny sprinklings of rare-earth metals and maybe the occasional radioisotope to spice things up. You have a nifty idea there!

Will said...

BCE:
Cream doesn't have lactose in it. So, a REAL NY style Cheesecake can actually be lactose free! And expensive, as it should consist of cream cheese and cream, with a very few other items. Hard to find the real thing these days...

ASM826 said...

I don't hate Starbucks, if I'm traveling I get coffee there.

My one suggestion would be to have a separate line for people that want regular brewed coffee and nothing else. Just step, they hand you a fresh cup and ring it up. You'd be out the door before the other line moved.