Monday, June 23, 2014

Lessons learned this morning


It's been an interesting morning.  Lessons learned:

  1. If you're sitting in front of your computer, with a cat peacefully lying in the crook of one arm, it will go from fast asleep to ACTION STATIONS!!! in about one-tenth of a second when it hears the buzz of a passing fly.
  2. The transition will be painful for any portion of one's anatomy within reach of the cat's claws.
  3. It will also be hazardous to your keyboard, coffee mug, and anything else within a two-foot radius of the cat's position.
  4. When the fly disappears behind your monitor, so will the cat.  This is a clue to immediately hold on to your monitor for dear life to prevent its being hurled into the next county by an overenthusiastic feline.
  5. Having removed cat, salvaged monitor, deleted several strings of unintelligible text from your manuscript, and wiped up the spilled coffee, you will just have sat down again when the fly (presumably the same one) will once again descend onto your screen - closely observed by an interested cat at  your feet.
  6. Wash, rinse, repeat.

AAAAARGH!!!

Peter

10 comments:

Rev. Paul said...

This narrative will be quite interesting - and perhaps funny - to those who don't have cats.

For those of us who do, it's all too familiar, evoking a wry smile & the wish that you're not lacerated too severely. :)

OldAFSarge said...

Been there, done that.

Got the scars.

Anonymous said...

Gigancat (22 lb red tabby) did valiant war against miller moths. Enough so that "It's miller time" took on a whole 'nother meaning. Usually punctuated by sounds of feline displeasure and crashing objects (books, magazines, the globe formerly on the end-table, drink glasses, slow-moving small humans . . .) Sort of like a golden retriever owner's call of "Look out! Happy tail," as the coffee table is swept clear.

LittleRed1

Timbo said...

My mother in law 's cat stayed out all night and so she grounded him, with lecture included, for the next two days.

I never dared to ask how that went in terms of lessons learnt and behavior modified.

Pascal Fervor said...

I've two solutions for the repetition. You'll hafta tell me if it works for you as well as for me.

1. The plastic bag. As soon as you see a fly in the facinity, snap the plastic bag like you're trying to open it (with air). Many a cat will be startled by it and forget about the fly.

2. Vacuum cleaner. Turning one on will get every cat I have owned quickly out of the room. After they learn, then even I reach for one it makes them decide to leave. Keep a small dustbuster in your lap and the cat won't be there.

Anonymous said...

Indoor kitty cats do make life ... interesting ... our felines have caused some pretty fast 'now you see it - now you don't'.

They haven't broken anything irreplaceable (yet), but its the attitude (YES I DID IT - NO I'M NOT SORRY - YES I'LL DO IT AGAIN) that bugs me the most. Remember when they were adorable little kittens - who knew the harm they would do ?

David said...

Here's another protip for you: When teaching a concealed carry class at a customer's home, make sure that there are no cats in the room before demonstrating a Crimson Strace laser!

Rich S. said...

Get a "Bug-A-Salt"?

Rolf said...

Try that with a sixty pound dog that thinks she's an insectivore.
Ah-yup...

SJ said...

I've noticed that flying insects like LCD computer screens.

(Maybe it's related to the way they're attracted to lights. Although I wonder if LCD spectrum is strong in the wavelength used by those bug-zapping-blue-light devices.)

About cats: I don't know much, since I have never had one. But that sounds scary.