Today's award goes to a hapless wannabe bank robber in Florida.
Felipe Cruz was doubly doomed, FBI agents said, when he tried — but failed — to rob the Chase Bank in Pompano Beach on April 10.
First, agents said, Cruz chose a teller who, protected by bulletproof glass, rebuffed his robbery. Second, as if it wasn't enough to botch the stickup, he left behind a robbery note conveniently containing his name.
. . .
The teller simply backed away from her bulletproof window. Cruz, stymied, fled the bank empty-handed.
But, agents said, he left his stickup note behind. His demands had been penned on the back of an online job application form, complete with the handwritten username of CRUZFELIPE36. It also included a password, Gioielli stated in a federal criminal complaint.
There's more at the link.
How nice of him to have entered all his personal information into an online profile even before committing his crime. The FBI didn't even have to re-enter it all themselves!